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Below Deck Down Under stars Luke Jones & Laura Bileskalne were fired for sexual misconduct after both tried to get in bed with castmates without consent. In each case, the person already in the bed refused to let them down under or below deck.

A study finds acid reflux drugs are tied to increased incidents of dementia. Nursing home patients are furious at the cancellation of pizza & wings night.

The genre of music known as hip-hop turned 50, making it eligible for AARP-hop.

Playing football may increase the risk of Parkinson’s disease, according to a new study. According to another study, Parkinson’s disease makes it much more likely you’ll be cut from the football team.

Five members of white supremacist group Patriot Front are suing The Idaho Stateman newspaper for revealing their identities. They claim this resulted in harassment, vandalism, and job loss. Although on the plus side they’ve also been uninvited from family reunions.

Amazon is sending warning emails to office employees who are spending too many days working from home. They’re threatening that if they don’t become better office employees, they’ll make them warehouse employees.

Americans are reportedly feeling gloomier about the nation’s economy for the first time this summer. This is shocking to economists, who say this time of year is usually much more cheerful while parents buy shit to send their awful kids back to school.

Kenosha, Wisconsin police pummeled a man in an Applebees as he held a baby in his arms, because they mistakenly thought he was a hit & run driver. They found the real suspect hiding in the bathroom, after the wrong guy was Beaten Good In The Neighborhood.

A supermarket in Austria was shut down because a Brazilian wandering spider – whose bite can cause long painful erections – was found in the bananas. However, before they closed, a bunch of 70-year-olds bought out all the bananas.

A Hungarian woman born with two vaginas, two uteri & two cervices gave birth to what’s being called a “miracle baby” – arriving via door #1.

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Amazon warehouses introduced AmaZen meditation booths, where stressed out workers can meditate and watch company-approved mindfulness videos while they privately urinate into soda bottles.

The FDA approved Wegovy, an injectable diabetes drug, for weight loss in adults with chronic obesity. It’s being called a “game changer”, and the second-most effective injection to fight obesity – the first being anesthesia before lap-band surgery.

A naked 53-year-old woman was tasered and arrested after trashing an Outback Steakhouse, breaking liquor bottles and throwing them at police. She plans to invoke the ‘No Rules, Just Right’ defense.

A self-described “Trump man” in Ohio was charged with littering for repeatedly defecating and urinating on his neighbor’s lawn because he’s a Democrat. The man’s dog was also charged for not bagging and disposing of his waste.

Israeli Prime Minister Benajamin Netanyahu claims the coalition forces trying to unseat him are perpetrating the “greatest election fraud” in the history of democracy .. or, according to his good friend, the greatest fraud in about the last seven months.

Jeff Bezos and his younger brother Mark will be aboard Bezos’ Blue Origin first manned space rocket flight on July 20. Their kids have blocked out the week after, just in case they need to figure out how to spend their inheritance.

Former One Direction singer Liam Payne called off his engagement to model Maya Henry, saying he’s one month sober and that he needs to “work on himself” – and dozens of former One Direction groupies.

A man shot in the leg by a member of rapper DaBaby’s entourage plans to file an injury lawsuit, leaving DaBaby rattled.

A 30-year-old El Paso mom was arrested for posing as her 13-year-old 7th grade daughter at her school, to highlight a lack of security and poor teacher attentiveness. She was discovered after bombing a spelling test and getting undressed for gym.

New York is planning a Central Park megaconcert to celebrate the city’s reopening. Producer Clive Davis said he’s seeking eight stars to co-headline the bill, stating they should be “iconic” and “not named Lee Greenwood or Kid Rock”.

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Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and husband of Queen Elizabeth, died at age 99. Prince Harry & Meghan Markle asked for privacy during this difficult time until they can schedule interviews about it.

Amazon warehouse workers in Bessemer, Alabama appear to have voted not to unionize. To celebrate, billionaire Jeff Bezos will give all the workers new pee bottles, and a pizza party where they’ll be served by the robots that will eventually fire them.

Facebook is testing labels on Pages created by people & organizations. So far, the labels include ‘fan page’, ‘satire page’, & ‘public official’ – but could expand to include ‘abandoned page’, ‘conspiracy kook page’ and ‘page Trump is using to dodge his ban’.

Apple is reportedly delaying some new product introductions because of a supply shortage – specifically, a shortage of teenagers to build them.

Singer Chris Brown’s Porsche was damaged in a chain-reaction collision of valet-parked cars outside of an L.A. club. Brown dismissed the accident, saying “I’ve got ten of these (cars)” before summoning an Uber driver he could punch in the face.

A billboard, ‘Matt Gaetz Wants To Date Your Child’, was put up in Florida – paid for by Matt Gaetz.

Khloe Kardashian, who attempted to get an unauthorized, unretouched bikini photo take off the Internet, posted her own unedited photo to Instagram. “Not bad” said her boyfriend Tristan Thompson, while in bed with some woman he hooked up with.

Gene Suellentrop, a Kansas GOP State Senator, reportedly called the arresting officer ‘donut boy’ when he was pulled over on suspicion of DUI. Suellentrop disputed the claim, saying he was just asking directions to the nearest location of Donut Boy.

Japanese doctors performed the first-ever lung transplant from living donors to a COVID-19 patient. All are in stable condition, but the donors need extra time to catch their breath.

An interstate highway outside Philadelphia was closed when a tractor-trailer crashed, spilling thousands of gallons of syrup. Philadelphia police assisted first responders, then sat on guardrails and ate their shoes.