Delaware’s department of motor vehicles is temporarily halting issuance of vanity license plates. The policy is opposed by the ACLU, and Delaware residents who say it’s now going to be a lot harder to spot douchebags.

A Colorado woman told police “arrest me now” when they arrived to find her male partner dead on the bed with his penis cut off. “Okay” said police.

PGA golfer Rory McIlroy announced he’s divorcing his wife of seven years. McIlroy denied her claims that he was seeking an open marriage, saying she misunderstood when he said he was getting a new swing coach.

A Pennsylvania man dismembered his roommate and left the body parts in 3 different locations. He said he fought with the roommate, and wanted to give the CSIs a scavenger hunt.

Palmer chocolate company expanded a recall of white chocolate products over a salmonella risk. The CDC warned consumers to return Palmer products, or risk death by chocolate.

Closing arguments in Donald Trump’s hush money trial are set for next week. Ongoing arguments are set for every time Donald Trump appears in front of a camera.

Marston Hefner, son of Playboy founder Hugh, said his inheritance was reduced after stepmother Crystal Hefner convinced her husband to modify the will. Marston calls Crystal a “master manipulator”, which Crystal agrees is right because she was able to manipulate erections out of Hefner before he died at 91.

Select Wendy’s locations are offering a bucket of 50 chicken nuggets, which they’re calling the Nuggs Party Pack, and which struggling families are calling Dinner For A Week.

Kyle, Texas failed in its bid to set a world record for largest gathering of men with the same name, as just 706 ‘Kyle’s showed up, compared to over 2,000 ‘Ivan’s who set the record in a Bosnian city. The women’s record is over 10,000 ‘Karen’s who took their daughters to a Taylor Swift concert.

Red Lobster filed for bankruptcy and will now be known as Red Ink Lobster.