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KISS canceled a show when frontman Paul Stanley tested positive for COVID-19. Gene Simmons’ COVID test still isn’t done because he keeps sticking out his tongue and knocking away the nose swab.

A viral video shows two boys at the Little League World Series staring at a smartphone photo of a large-breasted woman. The boys swiped left and moved on to other profile photos of Little League groupies.

Porn actor Ron Jeremy was indicted for over 30 counts of sexual assault. More charges are expected after prosecutors finish watching The Ron Jeremy Collection: Volume II.

California’s Caldor Fire caused evacuation warnings for the Lake Tahoe area. Residents can either evacuate, or scuba-dive in the lake.

Rochelle Wallensky, Director of the Centers for Disease Control, said something needs to be done to curb gun violence in the U.S. – saying she’s opposed to increasing numbers of citizens being vaccinated with hot lead.

Raymond Vannieuwenhoven, 84, received consecutive life sentences after his saliva from the envelope of a Police Performance survey linked him to the 1979 murder scene. He’s asked to change his rating of police work from Average to Very Good.

Philadelphia International Airport will soon be welcoming Afghani refugees. If they thought waiting for the flight from Kabul was bad, imagine how long they’ll be waiting for their checked bags.

A new study finds female hummingbirds that look like males face less “social harassment”. Cute, feminine hummingbirds are now wearing flannel shirts and crew cuts so they can be left alone and collect more nectar.

Kanye West seemingly recreated his wedding to Kim Kardashian at the most recent ‘Donda‘ album listening party. After the party, security was overwhelmed by dark-haired women with large butts attempting to recreate the wedding night.

Celebrity plastic surgeon Dr. Leonard Hochstein – known as the “Boob God” – is being sued for medical malpractice for allegedly damaging a woman’s legs and labia during a thigh lift. He’s now known as Boob God & Crotch Wrecker.

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A new study analyzed over 22,000 porn sites, finding over 93% were sharing user data with at least one third-party tracker. Researchers had a difficult time explaining to their wives why they had 22,000 porn sites in their browser history.

Bugatti announced a limited edition high performance supercar, the Centodieci, that costs $9 million. They’ll only produce ten of them – five to sell, and five to replace those when their owners crash them into trees.

Former UFC fighter Igor Zinoviev said he believes, based on medical findings, that Jeffrey Epstein had assistance killing himself. Zinoviev shared this opinion on his new show ‘UFCSI’.

Whitney Port of “The Hills” said she regrets turning down a one-night stand with Leonardo Dicaprio ten years ago. She wishes that instead of being the woman from The Hills that everyone forgot about, she was the woman Leonardo Caprio banged that everyone forgot about.

Dale Earnhardt, Jr and his family survived a fiery private plane crash at a Tennessee airport. The plane skidded off the runway, and Earnhardt had to tell the crew on scene to put out the fire instead of changing the plane’s tires and refueling it.

Donald Trump reportedly wants to buy Greenland. Greenland replied it’s perfectly capable of going bankrupt all by itself.

The Little League World Series is underway. Players representing teams from around the world come to Williamsport, Pennsylvania with one thought in common: wondering why in the hell they couldn’t have the Little League World Series someplace fun.

Following a 19-5 blowout loss to the Indians, New York Yankees manager Aaron Boone spoke in favor of a “surrender” rule to end lopsided games early. Ron Gardenhire, manager of the 37-82 Detroit Tigers, favors surrendering the remainder of the season.

The Indianapolis grave of John Dillinger may be exhumed to prove that it’s really him. Extra police are being brought in to prevent an escape.

Cava, the fast-growing Mediterranean-style restaurant chain, opened its first innovation kitchen in Washington, D.C. Cava is being called the Chipotle of Mediterranean food, and its innovation kitchen is trying to match Chipotle by developing its own strain of E. coli.

 

 

 

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Plus-sized supermodel Ashley Graham is pregnant. She’s looking forward to doing some plus-plus-sized modeling.

United Airlines tightened its alcohol guidelines for pilots; they’re now banned from consuming alcohol in the 12 hours prior to a flight. United pilots said they’re fine waiting until takeoff to get hammered.

Doctors are concerned about pregnant women smoking marijuana to deal with morning sickness. They say marijuana may impact fetal brain development, but admit the haze of smoke released during childbirth is kinda cool, and that the newborns are really chill.

Iowa Representative Steve King told a group of conservatives that humanity might not exist if not for rape and incest throughout human history. King then accepted the conservative group’s award for Smartest Man In Iowa.

The Barrington, Rhode Island team representing New England in the Little League World Series is denying sign-stealing accusations by the manager of the runner-up team from New Hampshire. Rhode Island’s manager denied the sign-stealing, saying he’s rubber and New Hampshire is glue.

Citing critical vulnerabilities in its software, Microsoft warned users of its Windows 10 operating system to update immediately — then immediately wait five hours for the update to finish.

Four Loko is introducing what it calls “the hardest seltzer in the Universe” at 14% alcohol by volume. The release date is unknown, but everyone assumes it coincides with the Gathering Of The Juggalos.

A man died during a taco eating contest at a minor league baseball game – he leaves behind a hard shell.

A French researcher studying ancient skeletons said Neanderthal men exposed to water and cold air suffered from “surfer’s ear”. He claims Neanderthals fell in the water more often due to difficulty staying upright surfing on pteradactyl beaks.

41% of millennials say they’ve considered skipping a friend’s wedding because they couldn’t afford the expenses. The other 59% are cool with their parents buying a gift.

Video circulated of Conor McGregor sucker-punching an old man in a Dublin, Ireland bar in a fight about whiskey — or, as it’s more commonly known, Irish Ultimate Fighting.