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Apple announced new iPhones are being made in India for the first time – providing unprecedented career opportunities in India for 10-year-olds.

In a possible breakthrough in organ transplants, a genetically modified pig kidney was successfully transplanted to a brain-dead human patient. A brain-dead patient was chosen for the lower risk, and because they couldn’t ask who donated the kidney.

After 14 months of marriage, Sam Asghari filed to Free Britney.

U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team head coach Vlatko Andonovski will resign following the team’s elimination from the World Cup. Andonovski admits failing to remind Megan Rapinoe that penalty kicks need to go in the goal, not over it.

St. Louis Cardinals Lars Nootbaar had to leave the game against the Oakland A’s after fouling a ball off his groin. Before leaving he continued his at-bat with the count 2 balls, 1 strike.

An Arizona woman is charged with attempted murder after poisoning her husband’s coffee with bleach every day for months. She also faces a lesser fraud charge for not telling him the coffee was made with Folgers Crystals.

A Southwest Airlines flight from Houston to Cancun retruned to Houston after an engine caught fire. “And you guys thought I was hot!” said a jokey Southwest flight attendant to the terrified passengers.

A woman on Tik Tok caused an Internet sensation with a video saying she and her husband randomly pick which side of the bed they sleep on. They say it all depends which friend or coworker they’re having sex with on a given night.

‘Dear Abby’ published a letter from a man saying he’s aroused by his 19-year-old stepdaughter. It was later revealed the letter was written 30 years ago and signed by “Woody A.”.

An Australian couple is charged with multiple counts of beastiality for filming illegal sex acts. They also say they’re planning to shut down their dog-walking business.

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Congress approved a bill to make Juneteenth – June 19th, a day marking the end of slavery – a federal holiday, as multiple Republicans tried, and failed, to do the same for Jansixth.

Gay soccer star Megan Rapinoe was hired to promote Victoria’s Secret as part of their rebrand – so now we all know what Victoria’s secret was.

The Philadelphia 76ers blew a 20-point lead for the second straight time, losing to the Atlanta Hawks in Game 5 of their playoff series. Philadelphia fans threw batteries at the team, then the Sixers threw them back and missed.

Southern Baptists elected Ed Litton as their conference President, who’s viewed as a ‘centrist’ because he promotes racial justice, while still hating queers.

Angelina Jolie reportedly got a ‘meaningful new tattoo’ – which reminds her what all of her other, less meaningful, tattoos are supposed to mean.

Fishermen near New Jersey’s Seaside Heights Pier caught a great white shark, which was then won by a kid playing a ring toss game.

The world’s third-largest diamond was reportedly unearthed near Botswana. Google suffered a brief outage as all the world’s rappers and the Kardashian family simultaneously searched ‘Where Is Botswana’?

Asked about privacy in a new interview, Apple CEO Tim Cook called it “a fundamental human right”. Asked about more durable glass on iPhones, Cook called it “a much lower priority than privacy”.

Microsoft Teams is doubling the maximum number of on-screen videoconference participants from 49 to 98. This makes it more likely you can see video of CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin masturbating, but tougher to actually tell what he’s doing.

Ricky Schroder protested outside a Foo Fighters concert in Agoura Hills, California, because attendance required proof of vaccination. Schroeder then left for a Toby Keith concert which required proof of gun ownership and dropping out of junior high.