By |

Spirits maker Diageo and ‘Diddy’ ended their partnership after he accused them of marketing his Ciroc vodka and DeLeon tequila as “urban” brands. Diageo denied the claims, then shared a recipe mixing Ciroc & Colt 45 malt liquor as a ‘Diddypolitan’.

Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce reportedly said “f… my life!” every time the team ran their famous ‘tush push’ short-yardage play. Quarterback Chase Young of the 2-15 Carolina Panthers said it before every play and practice.

A woman named Samantha Hart claims that her employer changes their email address protocol of first initial/last name to avoid the accidentally vulgar ‘shart@…’ prefix. She requested they just add a number so it’s ‘shart#2@…’

People with index fingers shorter than their ring fingers are more likely to be psychopaths. Just ask them to let go of the knife before you get a good look at their hands.

Kate, Princess of Wales, is expected to be hospitalized up to two weeks following abdominal surgery to remove several of the late Queen Elizabeth II’s famous scones that have been stuck there for years.

Google’s CEO Sundar Pichai warned staff that more layoffs are coming. It’s so bad, Google AI bots are sending out resumes.

Kanye West reportedly spent $850,000 to have his teeth removed and replaced with titanium dentures. He then paid Procter & Gamble $1 million to develop mint-flavored Dawn dish detergent so he could brush them.

3M began issuing payments after losing a $6 billion judgment over its combat earplugs not working. Injured soldiers would be happy to hear this news if they could.

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said that head coach Mike McCarthy would return next season, despite the team’s blowout playoff loss to Green Bay. Asked to explain his decision, Jones stated “Belichick said no.”

A passenger on a budget airline was stuck in the jet’s bathroom for the duration of a flight because the lock broke. The passenger received an apology from the crew, but the passengers in the last rows next to the bathroom were the ones who really suffered.

By |

Google claims a feature of their new Pixel 7 camera helps the visually impaired take selfies. Although they say it can’t help visually impaired people who try to take selfies with the tv remote.

A 37-year-old British man with physical handicaps was denied delivery of his food order because he looked under 25. He’s now unclear how he’ll get his Spaghetti-O’s.

A man knelt in the aisle at a Toronto Blue Jays game and “proposed” to his girlfriend with a candy Ring Pop. The woman slapped him and tossed her drink on him. However, an 8-year-old girl in the next row accepted the proposal and the ring.

After promising results in clinical trials, the Alzheimer’s drug lecanemab faces new questions, including “Where am I?” and “who is lecanimab?”

Pebbles, a fox terrier and the World’s Oldest Dog, died at age 22. Pebbles crossed the Rainbow Bridge while uncontrollably pissing on it several times.

A cargo ship captain is accused of drugging the drinks of two Merchant Marine Academy cadets and sexually assaulting them. He was relieved of his duties on The Lust Boat.

YouTube is reportedly cracking down on videos showing how to 3D-print devices that convert semi-automatic weapons to machine guns. Video creators are angry that their follower & subscriber counts are dropping because of the videos’ removal, and because their viewers keep getting shot & killed.

The record heat wave killed the most UK residents since record-keeping began, with 2,800 ‘excess deaths’ among those aged 65 & over. Heat deaths were prevalent enough that they surpassed another top mortality driver: choking to death on scones.

A 22-year-old Colorado woman duct taped her naked Tinder date’s wrists and ankles, performed oral sex on him, then cut him with a knife, choked him with a belt and ordered DoorDash. She was arrested, but two dozen Tinder matches offered to post her bail if they could get the same date.

California high school athletic trainer Tiffany Strauss-Gordon is accused of sexually abusing teen male football players while treating them. The football players did say she was good at stretching and finding ways to help the swelling go down.

By |

Donald Trump was reportedly sicker with COVID-19 last fall than the public realized. Doctors considered placing him on a ventilator, and nurses said he was so weak, they couldn’t feel him grabbing their pussies.

Diabetes drug semaglutide shows unprecedented results helping patients lose weight from weekly injections. However, once injections stop, patients gain weight, so doctors are figuring out how to deliver the drug in cheeseburgers.

Paulina Porizkova, estranged wife of dead Cars frontman Ric Ocasek, said she was left completely broke because he wrote her out of his will. “You might think I have grocery money..” she told her friends.

Chappelle’s Show returned to Netflix after Comedy Central agreed to pay Dave Chappelle millions in royalties. Meanwhile, Rob Schneider sitcom Rob! remains off Netflix, despite Schneider agreeing to pay $13.99/month to subscribe.

Convicted felon Lori Loughlin requested federal officials return her passport, so she can leave the country and visit Hawaii.

Actress Brie Larson posted a YouTube video ‘My Morning Routine’. Her routine consists of a series of stretching exercises in a swimsuit, and getting ogled by thousands of creeps.

Tennis’ Australian Open once again banned spectators, after 13 cases of COVID-19 were traced to a Holiday Inn in host city Melbourne. Fortunately, no elite tennis players would be caught dead, or sick, at a Holiday Inn.

Due to COVID, the U.K. economy suffered its worst setback since 1709, when the Great Frost killed off a substantial portion of the population, and the introduction of scones killed even more.

The Houston Texans agreed to release All-Pro defensive tackle J.J. Watt. “Watt?!” said players still stuck on the team.

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene allegedly had an extramarital affair with a tantric sex guru who calls himself “The Tantric Warrior”. The revelation is surprising those people finding out tantric sex gurus exist in suburban Georgia.