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A Delta Airlines flight making an emergency landing in Los Angeles dumped jet fuel that landed on kids at an outdoor playground. Delta representatives visited the playground to wring out the children’s clothing and underwear to try and get the fuel back.

Google is acquiring Pointy, a startup that helps brick-&-mortar retailers sell their products online, so Amazon can find them and put them out of business.

An American Airlines employee copied a passenger’s phone number from their luggage tag, then bombarded her with over 100 “creepy” text messages. Since the employee wasn’t a pilot, she called the cops.

Wine consumption is down in the United States, with industry analysts saying competition from spiked seltzer and hard liquor is cutting into Mom’s day drinking.

Spectrum Cable – formed from the Charter acquisition of Time Warner and Bright House Cable – announced they’re discontinuing home security service. Spectrum representatives say this isn’t the first time a large cable company just gave up on customer service, it’s just the first time they admitted it.

Police were called to the home of former NFL All-Pro wide receiver Antonio Brown, who, in a fight with his girlfriend, threw a bag of penis-shaped gummy candies at her. She failed to catch them, and blamed Brown for being a terrible passer.

Walmart is bringing robots to 650 more stores, as they ramp up efforts to make it impossible for shoppers to find human help.

A new study finds Grindr is illegally sharing users’ personal information with third parties. Grindr users say they’re cool with it, and also wouldn’t mind if third parties brought along fourth and fifth parties.

Glassdoor named the ‘best job in America’ for 2020 – a front-end engineer, who codes and tests website user experience and makes $105,000 annually. Glassdoor’s second-best job is a rear-end engineer, aka ‘personal trainer’.

A 37-year-old woman was arrested for trying to build a bomb inside of a Tampa, Florida Walmart. She was stopped by an off-duty law enforcement officer, then said her break was over.

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New York City police seized 46 ice cream trucks for $4 million in unpaid tickets accumulated over 10 years. Owners will fight the charges, and Mister Softee was freed on $250,000 bail.

California lawmakers want to remove single-use plastic toiletry bottles from hotel rooms. Shampoo & conditioner will be placed in shower dispensers; to get hand lotion, men will need to bring their own or make an embarrassing purchase in the hotel gift shop.

April the Giraffe – mother of five calves at Animal Adventure in Upstate New York – is going on birth control, after a third zoo worker nearly died trying to put a condom on her boyfriend.

To prevent President Trump’s threatened tariffs on exports, Mexico offered to send its National Guard to the U.S. border, to make sure nobody enters the U.S. illegally without carrying drugs.

Doctors in New York removing a brain tumor from a 42-year-old woman ended up extracting a tapeworm. The parasitic worm was found to have consumed a lot of recipes and memories of Real Housewives episodes.

Michael Dougherty, director of ‘Godzilla: King of the Monsters’ said in an interview that any movie would be made better by Godzilla showing up 20 minutes in – drawing unanimous agreement from anyone who’s watched ‘Sex And The City’ films.

The New England Patriots gave out their largest-ever Super Bowl rings at a private party at Robert Kraft’s house – although Kraft asked two guests from Orchids of Asia Day Spa to remove theirs before the evening’s entertainment started.

New smartphones from banned Chinese manufacturer Huawei will ship without Facebook, Instagram or WhatsApp. Huawei execs reassured concerned buyers that they’ll still find a way to harvest & sell personal data.

A Washington Post report claims Walmart workers in stores using robots feel undervalued performing tasks like cleaning & inventory delegated by the machines.  Walmart is reprogramming the robots to be more likable, teaching them to vape & make sexual remarks about coworkers.

2006 QV89, an asteroid wider than a football field, could hit Earth this year. Thousands of amateur astronomers are frantically giving it directions to the White House and Mar-a-Lago.

 

 

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A Washington state man was charged in connection with a murder-for-hire plot where he contracted to have his wife killed, but the killer murdered her sister by mistake. He’s charged with conspiracy, and illegally demanding a buy-one-get-one-free murder.

An American Airlines flight attendant spilled a tray of drinks on the company’s CEO Doug Parker. Parker then asked if he could have a full can of soda and she said no.

An 80-year-old New York City man was arrested for the 1973 murder of two women in Virginia Beach. At his arraignment, he said he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling teenage relatives sending DNA to Ancestry.com.

Lori Loughlin now faces money laundering charges in the college admission scandal. A judge spent 20 minutes telling her that the charge was for sending money to a fake offshore charity, and not like the time D.J. put her wallet in the washing machine.

A social media columnist has coined the phrase “cloaking” – a form of “ghosting” where you not only stand up your date, but also block them on every social media and dating app. In other words, it’s how you treat your parents, except for the date part.

A Quebec family returning from a road trip to Florida kept driving to Canada after their 87-year-old patriarch died in the car, to avoid U.S. health care costs. They were pleased with the savings, but angry at being pulled over six times after tying him to the roof.

Uber introduced Uber Vouchers, where participating hotels, restaurants and clubs can place credits in customer’s Uber accounts to help pay for their rides and harrowing assaults.

A burglar broke into Atlanta Braves outfielder Nick Markakis’ Atlanta home last month while he was away, stealing five guns and $20,000 cash. Markakis said he meant to bring at least one of the guns with him to carry while he played right field in Philadelphia.

Walmart is expanding its use of in-store robots for cleaning and inventory, saying they want human workers to spend time interacting with customers. Walmart also said they’re updating the robots software so they’ll steal fewer Xboxes.

Warner Brothers ordered the Trump 2020 campaign to stop using music and fonts from 2013 Batman movie ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ in their promo materials. However, they said Trump can use the Bane mask when he talks so it’ll be harder to understand him.