One Florida teenager died after at least two teens took turns shooting at each other while they wore body armor. In other news, Ollie’s Bargain Outlet has temporarily discontinued sales of body armor.

Adidas terminated its partnership with Kanye West over his antsemitic remarks. West said that, in addition to Parler, he’ll buy the rights to, and reopen, Payless Shoe Source.

WhatsApp suffered a serious outage on Tuesday, as technicians worked feverishly to restore users ability to send and receive encrypted nude photos.

Real estate site Point2 claims there are only four cities in the U.S. where the average American can afford a ‘starter home’: Detroit; Memphis; Tulsa; and Oklahoma City. Point2 admits they could probably afford North Dakota, but admit nobody really wants to live there.

A global helium shortage threatens the viability of MRIs, which need liquid helium to cool the magnets inside. Doctors say they’re prepared with a tried-and-true backup plan: unnecessary surgery.

President Joe Biden tweeted the federal deficit was reduced by $1.4 trillion, so maybe he’ll get Ukraine those guided missile defense systems for Christmas, after all!

A Michigan man was arrested and charged after a TikTok video showed him abusing a child. People who watched the video were then served up 50 more videos of other people hurting children.

Utah recorded their first human-caused avalanche of the year in the Wasatch Mountain Range. This followed several avalanches caused by coyotes hoping to kill birds using Acme-brand detonators.

A German doctor was ordered to pay the $13,000 medical costs of a woman who overdosed and died after he covered his penis in cocaine before she performed oral sex. The doctor argued he should only pay $12,965 dollars since the woman hadn’t made her copay.

Five tourists were stuck in Grand Canyon Caverns for 26 hours when an elevator used to exit the caverns stopped working. They said it wouldn’t have been so bad, but the mules they rode to the bottom were in the elevator with them.