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In San Francisco, driverless robotaxi Waymo ended their trial period and now opened up service to everyone. Three homeless people with no means to pay have been sharing the same ride around town for a week.

The City of Wilmington, Delaware opened an ‘outdoor classroom’ in Cool Springs Park. A dozen squirrels and raccoons have already dropped out.

Queen sold its music catalog to Sony for $1.26 billion. The original amount was slightly higher, but Queen had to pay Sony several million dollars to take ‘Radio Gaga’.

Snapchat introduced new safety features to protect teen users. Teens now need a parent’s permission to send a picture of their breasts or penis to some guy they just met.

Totally Cool ice cream company is recalling over 60 brands of ice cream for possible listeria contamination. The brands include Friendly’s, and eating the ice cream could result in a Jim Dandy case of nausea and diarrhea.

The Supreme Court ruled that the White House and FBI can instruct social media companies to remove disinformation. This means Facebook, X, Instagram and others could be responsible for removing deepfake videos, election falsehoods, and every layer of filters on Kardashian/Jenner photos.

Viral home security video shows an Illinois man chasing off an intruder by swinging a frying pan until police arrived and asked if the man could put down the frying pan and make them breakfast.

71-year-old Marissa Tiejo is the oldest contestant to compete for the title of Miss Texas. For the talent competition, she drank a 16-ounce bottle of water and remained on stage for a full 30 minutes.

72-year-old Bill Belichick and his 23-year-old girlfriend Jordan Hudson have reportedly been living together for months. Hudson reportedly moved in after Belichick opened up his bedroom for Mandatory Off-Season Workouts.

Cincinnati Reds pitcher Hunter Greene vomited on the mound during a pitching appearance. The contents of his stomach were clocked at 94 mph.

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President Trump made history as the first U.S. President to set foot in North Korea, then promptly blew it by asking for his dry cleaning.

Observers questioned where North Korean leader Kim Jong Un acquired a Rolls Royce limousine. He claims it was a reward for straight-As in every class he ever took, but privately everyone assumes he assassinated the guy who used to own it.

Taylor Swift published a scathing Tumblr post over her music catalogue being acquired by music industry mogul & talent manager Scooter Braun. The public is hoping Braun will do the right thing and burn all of it.

Meghan Markle attended the Yankees/Red Sox series in London, and gave all of the players ceremonial baseballs with her phone number written on them.

The Buffalo Bills are selling pieces of artifical turf recently removed from their home at New Era Field. They make the perfect gift for someone you hope never has anything good happen to them.

Facebook, AirBNB and Google all have policies forbidding employees from asking another employee on a date twice. So it’s either get rejected and give up, or really make that first date count.

In South Africa, magician Li Lau was struck in the head with an arrow when one of his tricks went wront. Li is expected to recover, and will continue to refine his Don’t Get Hit In The Head With An Arrow illusion.

The New York Mets honored the 50th Anniversary of their 1969 Amazin’ Mets championship team, but mistakenly included two living players in an ‘In Memoriam’ slideshow. No members of the 2019 Mets were shown, though a lot of them wish they were dead.

A new study from broker Edward Jones claims 38% of women admit being hindered from making life decisions by a lack of financial knowledge – adding that it’s just too much work emptying their bag to see how much money is in it.

The Centers for Disease Control warns Americans to take precautions against ‘cryptosporidium’ – a fecal bacteria that can live for days in public swimming pools, causing up to three weeks worth of “profuse, watery diarrhea”. They advise anyone with diarrhea not to swim for up to two weeks, angering water park owners who say they count on sick people to stay in business.

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The LPGA announced a new dress code for its women golfers — banning ‘plunging necklines’ and ‘short skirts’ that don’t cover the player’s buttocks. The rules come just days after women competed in the U.S. Women’s Open at Trump National, a club where the women’s dress code requires plunging necklines and short skirts that don’t cover players’ buttocks.

Wild monkeys – specifically, feral macaques – are scaring residents in central Florida. The groups of monkeys are taking up residence in backyards and chasing visitors to a state park where the monkeys live in large numbers. Animal experts say that the monkeys are highly intelligent and adaptable, meaning they’ll probably want to leave Florida soon.

Traces of fecal coliform bacteria a.k.a. ‘poop bacteria’ were detected in drinks purchased at U.K. locations of McDonalds, Burger King and KFC. KFC responded by immediately shutting down ice machines at affected locations; McDonalds and Burger King responded by saying the drinks are still a lot safer than the hamburgers.

Diners at a Chipotle location in Dallas captured video of rodents in the restaurant. The store manager states that the rodents were removed; the rodents say they left after finding out that guacamole costs a little extra.

  • Following reports of norovirus at a Chipotle in Virginia, the chain offered a short buy one/get one promotion, called Diarrhea Loves Company.

Charlize Theron’s new action movie, Atomic Blonde, opens this month. The film will not be shown in North Korea, where Atomic Blonde is what they call Donald Trump.

OJ Simpson’s parole hearing received extensive coverage on broadcast and cable networks. A confused, angry President Trump was left to tweet about Fake News he thinks he saw on Golf Channel.

  • Simpson was granted parole. He thanked the board and said he can’t wait to get out and work with Leslie Nielsen again.

The LA Times reported that former Dean of Medicine at USC, Carmen Puliafito, used meth & ecstasy and partied with prostitutes while on the job. Puliafito, who resigned in 2016, awaits his cabinet appointment as President Trump’s Drug Czar.

‘Despacito’, just certified the most streamed song ever, has been banned by Malaysian Government Radio for being too sexually suggestive. In other news, John Denver’s Greatest Hits topped Malaysia’s Top 40 for the 2000th straight week.

Dallas, TX hired Ulysha Renee Hall, its first-ever female police chief. Accepting the position, Hall said “women add that special something to law enforcement that truly, truly calms the savage beasts.” As what that ‘special something’ was, Hall replied ‘guns’.

Donald Trump blasted Attorney General Jeff Sessions in a New York Times interview for recusing himself from the Russia investigation. Sessions told reporters he’s stay on the job, but that he’d give Trump something he knows nothing about, the silent treatment.