A shark bit a 14-year-old boy during a lifeguard training class in Florida. Organizers have since stopped lifeguards-in-training from trying CPR on sharks.

Google will begin offering “dark web reports” to all users in late July, so they can see who else besides Google is abusing their personal information.

Customers of Ticketmaster whose personal information may have been compromised in a hack have been told to sign up for a credit monitoring service, for a $75 convenience fee.

Hailey Welch of ‘Hawk Tuah’ viral fame surpassed 1 million Instagram followers. She’s now offering social media mentoring to her sister, Slurp Tuah.

Google Maps is now suggesting in-route ‘detours’ to sponsored advertisers’ destinations – leading to record enrollment in Google Ads training by truck stop prostitutes.

People Magazine published a list of 13 rules that men must follow to be cast on The Bachelorette – including agreement to 24-hour filming, cell phone confiscation, limited Internet access, and a psychological exam they’re required to fail.

Brazil’s Pantanal – the world’s largest wetland – is on fire. Responders have no choice but to make it even wetter.

Masked thieves stole $1,700 from a Chipotle restaurant in the Philadelphia suburbs. They’d originally taken $1,600, but then asked for a little extra.

Twitch streamer Sketch – who livestreams Madden NFL football video games – addressed the leak of OnlyFans porn he’d done years earlier. He expressed relief that he no longer had to hide it, but promised his football followers he’d no longer be spiked in the end zone.

Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly was a good samaritan, helping a drunk party guest at a bash in the Hamptons over the weekend. DiCaprio reported helped the man sober up to the point where he could give DiCaprio the phone number of his 21-year-old cousin.

Justin Timberlake was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated in The Hamptons. Timberlake was unaware there’s been a sobriety checkpoint at the end of Billy Joel’s driveway for the last 35 years.

Today marks Juneteenth – when word of the Emancipation Proclamation resulted in the freedom of enslaved blacks. In 2024, several Abe Lincoln impersonators were hospitalized after marching down the streets of large cities holding banners reading “You’re Welcome!”.

Philadelphia convenience store chain Wawa rolled out its annual Hoagiefest promotion, with retired Eagles All-Pro Jason Kelce & wife serving as spokespersons. They share their ‘go-to’ Wawa hoagie order, which they give to the homeless so they don’t have to eat it.

Massachusetts experienced a statewide 911 outage. The timing couldn’t have been worse as first responders were unable to treat drunks falling off tables and light poles celebrating the Boston Celtics NBA Championship.

With record heat expected to continue throughout the summer, electric bills are projected to increase by 8 percent. Spousal brawls over the thermostat are projected to increase 80 percent.

Russia and North Korea entered a mutual defense pact, with Russia promising to assist in the event another country invades North Korea to steal their poverty and nothingness.

Tropical storm warnings were extended in to Texas. Waves will reach near-record highs, so immigrants entering the state illegally are advised to try surfboards.

During a recent Rolling Stones tour stop in Philadelphia, frontman Mick Jagger explored the city, spending 20 confused minutes at a cheesesteak shop saying “what do you mean ‘wit’ mate?”

In Bensalem, Pennsylvania, six volunteer fire companies are consolidating – setting the stage for what could be the world’s largest-ever pancake breakfast and chicken barbecue.

Billy Ray Cyrus shared an alleged handwritten note from his estranged wife, Firerose, where she asks for a reconciliation just days after accusing him of verbal & emotional abuse. Cyrus refused, claiming to be both too achy and too breaky.