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Viral video shows a male football cheerleader for the University of Iowa flipping out of his pants doing a handspring. Not captured on video that evening, several female Iowa cheerleaders flipping out of their pants at fraternity parties.

Las Vegas police charged a man in the 1996 murder of Tupac Shakur. This is a biggie.

Donald Trump’s business fraud trial begins in New York. If found guilty, his company will no longer be able to do business in the state, and he’ll have to pay $250 million in fines once they’re donated to him by dopes.

The Nobel Prize for Medicine was awarded to two scientists whose mRNA research resulted in COVID vaccines. Honorable Mention was given to a guy who made ventilators out of old Shop Vacs.

Governor Gavin Newsom appointed Laphonza Butler, a black lesbian who lives in Maryland, to take the late Dianne Feinstein’s Senate seat for California. Butler was chosen because she’s black, an advocate for LGBTQ & abortion rights, and pretty experienced with long-distance relationships.

Following charges of rape & sexual assault, French actor Gerard Depardieu penned an open letter, saying he didn’t Depardieu it.

Taylor Swift was joined by Hugh Jackman, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Sophie Turner & others at MetLife Stadium for the Chiefs/Jets Sunday Night game. Meanwhile in the 700 level, a different woman named Taylor was joined by four friends who woke her up following the game after she blacked out in the 2nd quarter.

A man deliberately crashed his car into the Warren County, Pennsylvania police department building. Warren County cops apprehended him after a 30-minute pursuit.

Cindy Crawford alleges that Oprah Winfrey made her feel like a piece of meat when appearing on her talk show. Winfrey feels Crawford has no idea how much she likes pieces of meat.

Travis Kelce’s ex, life coach Maya Benberry, said she questions the “genuineness” of his new romance with Taylor Swift. Benberry was recently fired as life coach.

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Mike Babcock resigned as head coach of the NHL Columbus Blue Jackets before coaching a single game, allegedly because he asked players to share pictures on their phone “to show what type of person (they) are”. Babcock regrets not seeing a single nude photo of players wives or girlfriends.

A U.S. F-35 fighter jet based out of Charleston, South Carolina is missing after the pilot ejected following a “mishap”. “Found it” – said a guy who no longer has a beach house.

Katy Perry sold her music catalog rights for $225 million. The only other woman believed to be that rich who kissed a girl and liked it is Ellen Degeneres.

Drew Barrymore deleted an apology video for restarting her talk show amidst the actors & writers strikes after being dragged by fellow union actors and writers. Her guests for the foreseeable future are dogs & cats who have million-view TikTok clips.

Donald Trump told a crowd on Friday that President Biden is leading the country into World War II. Earlier, Trump had fallen asleep during a private showing of ‘Oppenheimer‘.

Gannett, the largest newspaper group in the U.S., will hire dedicated reporters to cover Taylor Swift and Beyonce. In order to be considered, candidates will need writing samples and a note from their parents to skip gym class for an interview.

9 inmates at a juvenile detention center in rural Pennsylvania escaped during a riot, but then were captured, with several surrendering because they were cold. They were readmitted, and signed up for Danelo Cavalcante’s prison escape MasterClass.

Japan is creating its own version of artificial intelligence ChatGPT. They say the big difference is that theirs speaks Japanese.

Bears in Anchorage, Alaska raided a Krispy Kreme donut delivery van. They were eventually chased away and evaded heavy gunfire from every member of the Anchorage Police Department.

Hugh Jackman and his wife separated after 27 years of marriage. He now officially joins the Ex-Men.

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Dog the Bounty Hunter is being investigated for an assault at a Colorado airport after a man accused him of shoving his son.

  • A judge ordered Dog to return to Colorado, and to heel.
  • The son was recorded telling Dog to “suck my d*ck”, but Dog refused since there wasn’t any peanut butter on it.

President George H.W. Bush was laid to rest behind his presidential library in College Station, Texas, following a Union Pacific train ride from his family funeral in Houston. Pallbearers took a few extra minutes removing coal dust from the casket since the family only paid for a freight car.

Kevin Hart announced that he was hosting the Academy Awards, then stepped down after complaints circulated about his past remarks concerning gays. The Academy is being urged to hire a gay person to host, so they announced Hugh Jackman without asking him first.

Amazon Go is considering putting checkout-free stores in airports.  The move was hailed by Air Marshals, who say they’re bored and would welcome the chance to arrest travelers who boost $5 bags of M&Ms and run.

A Kentucky man was sentenced to five years in prison for putting glass shards into shipments of plastic cups used at fast food restaurants. It took a while for him to get caught, since diners at Arby’s and Taco Bell assumed bleeding in their mouth was just a usual reaction to the food.

The new XFL plans to introduce some new rules, including a running clock to speed up games and payments to players in a new cryptocurrency that no one understands to stave off their inevitable bankruptcy.

Marvel released the official trailer for Avengers 4 and, with it, the official name of the film: Avengers: Endgame. They then issued the official trailer for Avengers: Endgame’s end-credits Easter Egg, to be called Avengers: End of Endgame.

Mastanamma, an Indian woman from New Delhi who became a YouTube sensation at age 105 for her cooking videos, died at age 107. Her family is having a post-funeral meal catered by McDonald’s since they’re all sick of Indian food.

Walmart announced it’s putting robotic floor scrubbers in 360 of its stores by the end of the year.  So far, the experiment has yielded mixed results, with many of the robots missing time taking smoking breaks and going to doctor visits to monitor out-of-wedlock pregnancies.

Infant ibuprofen sold at drug store chains is being recalled for having higher concentrations of the drug than advertised. “Shit, I kinda liked it” said babies having particularly tough days.