New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, 42, said she’s resigning rather than seeking reelection because she lacks the energy to continue in the job. “Hint, hint” said U.S. Democrats.

The Federal Government reached its debt ceiling limit, admitting it overspent on Christmas presents.

Meghan Markle’s mother said in the Netflix documentary ‘Harry & Meghan‘ that she regrets not making her daughter more aware of racial prejudice. “That’s okay, we took care of it” said Britain’s Royal Family.

Kim Kardashian bought a diamond-&-amethyst cross necklace owned by Princess Diana for $197,000. She plans to wear it for good luck when she’s being chased by paparazzi in her car.

Sports Illustrated 2023 Swimsuit Issue’s newest ‘Rookie’ is 40-year-old mom & fitness influencer Melissa Wood-Tepperberg. To make room for the her and another Rookie, SI announced two Veteran models who gained 10 pounds were released.

Alec Baldwin is now charged in the shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of ‘Rust‘. Baldwin’s name will go above the title of his next project, Involuntary Manslaughter Trial.

Dozens of inmates in Texas prisons are in the second week of hunger strikes, to protest their indefinite solitary confinement. Although some are eating but just saying they’re on strike, since there aren’t any cellmates to snitch on them lying about it.

Republican Congressman George Santos dressed as drag queen ‘Kitara’ while in Brazil in 2008, disqualifying him from reading at Kirk Cameron Library StoryTime.

A city council meeting held via Zoom in Flintshire, Wales was interrupted by a man who hacked into it, masturbated on camera, and said “Cum. I want you to cum with me.” He was removed, and his suggestion was narrowly voted down 6-5.

Michigan firefighters came to the rescue of a sheep who wandered out on a partially-frozen lake and fell through the ice. The fire chief warned residents to be more careful, saying this “could happen to anyone, even ewe..”

Kirk Cameron was criticized for organizing a Christmas caroling event at a California mall, drawing 500 participants with few wearing masks or social distancing. Cameron himself got angry at the hundreds who stayed after for a seance to contact Boner.

Tom Cruise cursed out crew members on the London set of Mission Impossible 7 for not social distancing. After his rant, Cruise peeled off his mask to reveal he was actually Vice President-elect Kamala Harris!!

Mitch McConnell spoke on the Senate floor to finally congratulate Joe Biden on winning the 2020 election, then sent a photo to Donald Trump of his fingers crossed behind his back.

California Congressman Eric Swalwell addressed an Axios report about his relationship with suspected Chinese spy Christine Fang in 2015. Swalwell said he did not share sensitive information with Feng, and only loved her short time.

Ivanka Trump and Donald Trump Jr both condemned government lockdowns of small businesses not ‘grounded in science’. This, from two people who were probably at some point grounded for failing science.

Hulu will produce a limited-run series about the Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee sex tape. Their goal for the series is to get one one-thousandth of the views gotten by the sex tape.

California is reportedly ordering thousands of body bags as the COVID-19 death toll rises. They’re also telling relatives the bags take an extra week to arrive if they want them monogrammed.

MacKenzie Scott – ex-wife of Jeff Bezos – donated $4.2 billion of her estimated $60 billion fortune to charity in just the last four months, and stopped taking Donald Trump and Mike Pence’s calls when they found out about it.

A 5.000-year-old relic from the Great Pyramid of Giza was discovered in a cigar box in Scotland. It’s believed to be the world’s oldest souvenir refrigerator magnet.

The Federal Reserve announced they may make downward adjustments to interest rates, in order to lower mortgage rates and boost the economy. That way, people can buy houses now and maybe move into them a year later.