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A new study finds high-school students who take a personal finance course realize a $100,000 wealth benefit later in life. Also, young couples who pay attention in health class realize a $300,000 lifetime benefit by not getting pregnant.

A University of Pennsylvania professor claims the word “because” is a ‘magic word’ that helps you influence people to do things. However, your spouse already knows this and it’s why they say “because I have a headache”.

The first Jordan-branded ‘World Of Flight’ Nike retail store in the U.S. will open in Philadelphia. When the store opens in spring it’ll host the first-ever Grand Looting Event.

Tourist attraction The John Wick Experience is opening in Las Vegas. Because apparently people can’t get enough of mass shootings.

NBA player Steph Curry defeated the WNBA’s Sabrina Ionescu in a 3-point shooting ‘Battle of the Sexes’ at the NBA All-Star Game. Other NBA players privately engaged in their own Battle of the Sexes over child support.

A man with a severe milk allergy is suing McDonald’s over a slice of cheese mistakenly placed on his Big Mac, which he claims almost killed him. Luckily he was in a McDonald’s where they’ve added lifeguards to the dining room.

Donald Trump called “indictment” the ‘N-word’ during a speech. “Indictment, please…” said Barack Obama.

Rumors are circulating that Paramount and Comcast may merge their Paramount + and Peacock streaming services. Details are scarce, but they’re reportedly stuck on whether to call it Peamount+ or Paracock.

NBA analyst Charles Barkley criticized the city of San Francisco, saying it’s full of “homeless crooks”, and adding that you can’t walk around the city unless you have a bulletproof vest, also known as a shooting guard.

The Daytona 500 was postponed one day due to rain. The race will take place today, officially kicking off Redneck New Year.

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Pornhub will use a third party to verify the identities of persons uploading content -using publicly available identity data, not boob and penis pics like they used to.

Online war game Call of Duty: Warzone has found & booted over 60,000 confirmed cheaters. They won millions of battles, but lost the Warzone.

Filters on iOS 14 meant to prevent children from accessing adult content are blocking all searches containing the word “asian”. While that’s fixed, kids are still learning through iPad and iPhone searches related to MILFs, kink, and latinas.

Harvard scientist Avi Loeb claims he’s “more sure than ever” that we’ve been visited by alien life on Earth. As evidence, he cites his inability to find pants that fit over the probe they used.

Donald Trump was the only living President who did not make a live or recorded message for this week’s National Prayer Breakfast. It’s unclear whether his absence was due to his pending impeachment, or for McGriddles being left off the menu.

Trump sent an angry resignation letter to the Screen Actors Guild on the same day they released their nominations for the annual SAG Awards. The Guild rescinded SAG nominations for Trump’s neck and balls.

NBA players are reportedly angry that the league still plans to have an in-person All-Star Game in Atlanta this March – especially since all of the strippers who usually travel to the host city are only appearing via Zoom.

Casey Anthony is reportedly co-producing a documentary about the infamous murder of her daughter Caylee, including never-before-seen footage of Casey, who totally didn’t do it, asking if her daughter is dead yet.

Google released an infographic showing the most-searched-for food items for Super Bowl parties. People are happy for the pandemic, so they don’t have to attend parties and eat Delaware’s “prawn toast” or Mississippi’s “possum sliders”.

Experts studying 1971 footage of Alan Shepherd hitting two golf balls on the moon determined his shots traveled 24 and 40 yards, respectively. Since he could only hit that far in zero gravity, aliens waiting behind him asked if they could play through.