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Facebook is reportedly changing its name to emphasize its focus on the metaverse. Also, Donald Trump is already banned from the metaverse.

Disgruntled Philadelphia 76ers player Ben Simmons was suspended from the team for refusing to participate in a defensive drill – shocking NBA fans who couldn’t believe teams actually do defensive drills.

Actress Ruby Rose, former star of Batwoman on The CW, used Instagram Stories to criticize producers of the show for running an unsafe set rife with injuries and sexual harassment. “Why didn’t you just call me?” asked Batman.

Queen Elizabeth II “reluctantly” accepted her doctor’s advice to rest, and cancelled a trip to Northern Ireland. Instead, Buckingham Palace is where she defends her 2020 Guinness-Chugging Contest title.

William Davis, a registered nurse in Texas, was convicted of killing four patients by injecting them with air – from his butt.

A Grateful Dead tour t-shirt from 1967 sold at a Sotheby’s auction for a record $17.640. The winner then washed the weed stench out of it and it resold for $50,000.

An Israeli scuba diver discovered a Crusader sword off the country’s Mediterranean coast estimated to be 900 years old. He surrendered it to the government, and now has to come up with a different Halloween costume idea.

Hawai’i will reopen to vacationers and other non-essential travelers on November 1st, but many people getting off the plane are wary of the newly-imposed Lei Mandate.

Dr. Dre is reportedly furious with estranged wife Nicole after being served with divorce papers as he attended his grandmother’s funeral. The papers had to be dried off since Dre dropped them while pouring out a 40 for Grandma.

Rapper L’il Yachty is a first-time father to a baby girl, Dinghy.

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A buck crashed through the window of a hair salon on Long Island. The animal fled shortly after his antlers received 10 frosted tips.

Dick’s Sporting Goods CEO said the company destroyed $5 million worth of AR-15 rifles after finding out the chain sold one to a school shooter. The company also destroyed $50 million worth of golf clubs when they saw how badly customers played with them.

The Glenlivet released their ‘Capsule Collection’ of whisky pods, aged scotch encased in an edible capsule made of seaweed. Some drinkers are popping them in their mouth and biting them, others plan to age them for another 20 years in their laundry room.

The Supreme Court will hear the case of a funeral home director fired after coming out as a transgender woman. The funeral home owners defended their decision, saying they’re in the business of burying problems.

The Supreme Court will not hear the appeal of Domino’s, who were sued, and lost, to a blind man who couldn’t order pizza for delivery from his iPhone. However, the blind man is facing lawsuits from several people he ran over driving to pick up takeout pizzas.

Juliet Huddy, a former host of Fox & Friends, said that some Fox News shows “lie by omission”, omitting facts and context while reporting the news; as opposed to the rest of Fox News shows  that “lie on purpose”.

Rachel Maddow will reportedly appear in CW’s new comic-book tv show “Batwoman”. No details were given, but everyone just assumes she’s going to be Alfred.

Target launched Target Circle, a new customer loyalty program where you earn points for shopping. KMart announced its own loyalty program, where you receive points for finding a KMart store that hasn’t gone out of business yet.

China is pulling back its support of the NBA after Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey tweeted in support of pro-democracy protesters in Hong Kong. China is also pulling back support of the WNBA because they don’t really care about it, either.

After postponing, NASA rescheduled the first all-female spacewalk for this month. The original walk was postponed because a proper-fitting spacesuit was unavailable for astronaut Annie McClain. McClain has now been fitted with the first-ever AstroSpanx.

 

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Google is reportedly working on a “Personal Safety App” with that detects when a user is in a car crash and calls 911, but only after asking the user if they’ve finished texting.

Apple Maps announced a slew of upgrades to compete with its chief rival, Google Maps. Among the new Apple Maps upgrades — accurate maps.

Following Monday night’s performance on Dancing With The Stars, a majority of Americans and all judges favor Sean Spicer’s impeachment.

Ray Lewis withdrew from Dancing With The Stars, citing injures to tendons in his feet, and after being told he can’t eliminate competitors with knives outside of a club.

Two Buffalo Bills fans were married on the field at halftime of Sunday’s 16-10 loss to the New England Patriots. Their vows were amended to read “in sickness, for poorer, til death without a playoff victory.”

President Trump shared a poll from Breitbart that showed him with a 97.83% approval rating. EMTs were dispatched to the homes of the 2.17% for checks on their well-being.

Actress Ruby Rose said she underwent emergency neck surgery after doing stunts on her new ‘Batwoman’ tv show, although producers are reportedly angry she didn’t just fix it herself with items from her utility belt.

A vendor is accused of charging $724 to a fan’s credit card for two beers at the Miami Dolphins game. The fan was immediately notified by his credit card company, and was grateful for the time he forgot he was at a Miami Dolphins game.

Pennsylvania companies Yeungling and Hershey’s teamed up to launch Yeungling Hershey’s Chocolate Porter, a brewed alcoholic beverage that the companies call the perfect way to introduce kids to excessive drinking during Eagles and Steelers games.

Some providers of pet insurance are providing discounts for owners who put fitness trackers on their pets, citing the high level of calories that dogs can burn each day licking their own balls.