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Google will soon make their proprietary AI photo-editing tools available to all iPhone & Android users, making it easier than ever to cut your exes and dead relatives out of group photos you look great in.

A possible meteor sighting was recorded over parts of Pennsylvania & New Jersey, but first astronomers want to check with the FAA to make sure it wasn’t part of a Boeing jet crashing to earth.

Jessica Sawicki, a 37-year-old English teacher in Hamilton, New Jersey, allegedly had sex multiple times with an underage student at Assunpink Wildlife Area – where her student saw a lot of both.

Beyonce became the first black artist to reach Number 1 on the Billboard Hot Country Album and Billboard 200 Album charts simultaneously. She plans to celebrate Morgan Wallen-style by tossing a chair off of a Nashville rooftop.

The U.S. Postal Service plans to increase the price of first class Forever stamps to 73 cents – forcing fixed-income grandparents to downgrade money in their grandkids birthday cards from five dollars to four.

Track & field athletes will get paid at the Paris Summer Olympics. Gold medal relay teams will split $50,000, and race-walkers will get a few bucks just because organizers feel bad about how ridiculous they look.

The owner of Sis Sweets Cookies & Cafe in Kansas believes she lost a $4,000 diamond in the dough of cookies she made. Regular customers are spending a lot more time in the Sis Sweets restrooms poking around.

The NFL is allowing teams to have a third helmet design. This is so teams can wear and merchandise more alternate & throwback designs, and so the question “what color helmet were you wearing?” can be added to the concussion protocol.

O.J. Simpson passed away at age 76 after a battle with cancer. The Buffalo Bills announced they’ll lower their championship flags to half mast if they ever get them.

The Coast Guard rescued three people from a remote Pacific Island after they spelled out ‘HELP’ with palm leaves. Then the Coast Guard left after being told the message was for the DoorDash boat.

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With CDC guidance allowing vaccinated grandparents to visit in-person with their asymptomatic grandchildren, there’s now a nationwide shortage of Werther’s Originals and other terrible candy.

Pepsi introduced Driftwell, a new carbonated seltzer to drink at bedtime so you can belch yourself to sleep.

A surge in coronavirus cases has shut down Italy once again. Health officials blame another new variant of COVID-19, the Sunday Gravy Variant.

Despite reports saying they’d broken up, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez say they’re still a couple, but are ‘working through some things’ – specifically, coming to terms with who’s the bigger ass in the relationship.

Indiana University suspended Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority for making pledges play “Blow or Blow” – forcing a choice between giving a blow job or snorting cocaine. After the choice, the woman was told they didn’t have to do either. Complaints were filed by pledges excited about free cocaine.

A judge ruled Google must face a lawsuit that it tracks Chrome browser users even in ‘Incognito Mode’. If the tracking data is released, Pornhub is confident their unique views will increase by roughly one zillion percent.

The Vatican said it will not bless same-sex unions, calling homosexuality a ‘sin’ and a ‘choice’. “Well, I guess it’s off to Protestantism” said engaged priest/altar boy couples.

A large wildfire ripped through southern New Jersey and even jumped the New Jersey Turnpike as it spread. Firefighters sought to contain the blaze so it could be ticketed for failure to pay tolls and not using the fire lane.

Toys R Us has been sold to a new owner, who’s planning to open stores as soon as possible. Parents will be required to wear masks and small children will be required to wear muzzles.

A Chalfont, PA woman was arrested for altering images of girls on her daughter’s cheerleading squad to make them appear naked, smoking & drinking – in an effort to get them kicked off. It backfired and the cheer coach made them all captains at a party at his house.

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Due to the coronavirus, the state of Arizona announced it’s delaying the first day of school. “Yeah, but what about the second day of school?” asked an Arizona high school football captain.

WNBA Players Association president Nneka Ogwumike told a USA Today reporter that players opted out of their agreement with the league as a “bet on themselves”. She then asked the reporter to pull up to the second window to continue the interview.

Ryan Seacrest broke up with longtime girlfriend Shayna Taylor, and vacationed with an unidentified woman in Mexico. He requests privacy until they debut three new talk shows together.

Studies show talking may spread coronavirus even worse than coughing. Experts call this one more reason for blowing off your grandparents.

Google added ten new dinosaurs you can place in photos using Google search and augmented reality. They include velociraptor, stegosaurus and Mitch McConnell.

The Women’s Tennis Association announced they’ll return with several small tournaments in late summer, including the Prague Open, featuring Karolina Pliskova and Petra Kvitova. They look forward to their extended break being ova.

Mark Wahlberg shared a photo of his back after an allergy scratch test. Wahlberg posted the tests revealed he’s “allergic to almost everything” – excluding awful Michael Bay and M. Night Shyamalan movies.

Looking at a red light for three minutes every day may improve eyesight in people over 40. However, it also increases the risk of getting honked at when the light turns green.

Fox News fired anchor Ed Henry following an investigation into sexual harassment. Henry was let go after it was determined he wasn’t harassing women nearly enough.

Alaska Airlines flight attendants will issue yellow warning cards to passengers who refuse to wear face masks while on board. If they refuse, they’ll receive a red card and a parachute.