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Tiger Woods indicated that he may play in The Masters this week, after playing a practice round, and seeing the two new hostesses hired at the Perkins pancake restaurant in Augusta.

Three Republican Senators voted to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court, then asked the location of this “cookout” everyone tells them they’re invited to now.

A new study that paid loyal Fox News viewers to switch to CNN for 30 days made them “less likely” to believe “fake news”. Although most of them said the money wasn’t enough to keep them from missing blond women with huge boobs reading the stories.

A Florida personal injury attorney was disbarred after running over four people outside a grocery store because she heard “voices” in her head. She described the voices as “tough and smart”.

A New Jersey high school student and a 7-year-old relative brought loaded semi-automatic weapons to school on Friday. The high schooler faces weapons charges, the 7-year-old is taking Gifted Student firearms classes.

Elon Musk now owns 9% of Twitter and has joined the company’s Board Of Directors. Coincidentally, trending hashtags now include #spacetravel #electriccars #solarpower and #pickingaweirdnameforyourkid .

A Portland, Oregon woman opened The Sports Bra – a bar that only shows women’s sports on the TVs. The ribbon was cut by gold medal soccer goalie Hope Solo, who then came back six days in a row to get drunk and drive home with her kids in the car.

Forbes Magazine claims the collective wealth of the world’s billionaires has fallen to $12.7 trillion. Even worse, they’re not getting a lot of support on GoFundMe to save the superyachts and pro sports teams they bought.

A stranded bull was rescued from a backyard swimming pool in England. Onlookers were amazed by the effort to lift him out, and by the bulge in his Speedo.

An Amazon worker released a list of words and phrases allegedly banned from use on the company’s planned internal chat app, including “union”, “slave”, “plantation”, “restroom” & others. The restrictions are leaving many new employees unable to accurately describe their boat trip from remote continents to new Amazon jobs.

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Donald Trump suggested coronavirus could be treated by injecting disinfectant, causing the makers of Lysol to say it’s a bad idea, but would kill 99.99% of those who try it.

Nintendo confirmed 160,000 Nintendo store & eShop accounts were accessed in hacking attempts. They recommend activating two-factor authentication, where you first enter a password, then verify your voice saying “It’s-A Me”.

Valerie Bertinelli turned 60 – 21,915 days at a time.

A Fashion Institute of Technology professor of textiles said sweatpants and leggings worn during lockdown can go “a week or two” without washing – adding that when the time is right, they’ll probably just jump in the washer themselves.

Former U.S. Women’s National Soccer team goalie Hope Solo gave birth to twins. The doctor handed them to her, and she resisted the urge to kick them to midfield.

Neiman Marcus is filing for bankruptcy. If they have to ask how much they owe, they can’t afford it.

A 55-year-old man in a surgical mask was arrested for exposing his genitals outside of a Pittsburgh area Target. The store manager was quick to assure everyone that it wasn’t a Target Team Member.

Chipotle shared the recipe for its guacamole – the last line is how you collect $3 from everyone who eats it.

Burger King is giving 10,000 free Whoppers to people who scan a QR code in a commercial, meaning no free food for anyone who left their phone more than six feet away.

Police in Fairfax County, Virginia arrested 30 pedophiles targeting children who were taking classes online. Almost all of the accused are trying to convince judges they were teaching Health class.