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Five employees were injured when a tornado ripped through Faulkner GMC/Buick in the Philadelphia suburbs. Owners, however, wanted to clarify that this is not to be confused with their End-Of-July Tornado of Savings Event.

The first wave of Afghanistan evacuees – residents who helped U.S. Troops – arrived in Virginia. They were treated to tours of Colonial Williamsburg, and immediately asked to go back to Afghanistan.

A woman broke the world record by delivering nine babies. She’s planning to feed them with a breast pump attached to a sprinkler.

House Republicans are protesting the mask mandate by walking to the Senate chamber, where masks aren’t required, and where Congressman Matt Gaetz heard it was the Senate’s ‘Take Your Daughter To Work’ Day.

Los Angeles approved an ordinance criminalizing homelessness. Homeless people are turning themselves in on days where they like the menu at the county jail.

People in Missouri are wearing disguises to get COVID-19 vaccines so their conservative friends won’t shun them. Missouri’s Department of Health said they’ve issued a record number of vaccine cards to Frankenstein, Freddy Krueger & Jason Voorhees.

Scarlett Johansson is suing Disney, saying their decision to co-premiere Marvel Studios ‘Black Widow’ on Disney+ led to her losing out on back-end compensation. The lawsuit appears ugly, and also jeopardizes Johansson’s upcoming role in ‘That Darn Cat 2’.

Former ‘Bachelorette’ Ali Fedotowski, 36, told her Instagram followers that she contracted shingles. She said it surprised her because of her age, and because she’s never been on a roof in her entire life.

The Winklevoss Twins band played their first live gig. They call themselves The Righteous Brothers because they thought of it first.

Donald Trump is selling one of his personal helicopters. No selling price is listed, but its estimated value is around $1 million – minus whatever it costs to get the smells of McDonald’s and bronzer out of it.

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Apple says they’re going ‘all in’ on 5G technology in 2022, with factories hiring thousands of fifth graders.

Jeff Bezos gifted $100 million ‘Courage & Civility’ Awards to chef Jose Andres and CNN anchor Van Jones, so they can continue charitable work. Finalists are not yet announced for the Donald Trump ‘Cowardice & Hostility’ awards, but multiple January 6th rioters are in the running.

Joe Pytka, director of the original ‘Space Jam‘ movie, said ‘Space Jam: A New Legacy” is so boring he couldn’t finish it in one sitting. It’s one of the most scathing criticisms an 82-year-old has ever leveled against a children’s cartoon.

Provincetown, Massachusetts, a popular gay-friendly Cape Cod tourist destination, is experiencing a surge in COVID cases, causing officials to require guests & residents to wear masks with mouth holes.

The Milwaukee Bucks won the NBA title, but gunfire outside their home arena in the postgame celebration sent three people to the hospital with Buckshot wounds .

A COVID-positive Indonesian man was arrested for disguising himself as his wife so he could board a domestic flight on a local airline. He was discovered by the drunken groper in the adjacent seat.

“Floating breakfast” is a growing trend in the hospitality industry; it describes breakfast served in pools or hot tubs at luxury resorts, or, at Ramada Inns, the continental breakfast dumped into the toilet.

Kanye West threw a listening party for his new album in Las Vegas, which morphed into traffic jam at the parking lot exit halfway through the listening party.

Cecil County Maryland broke ground on what will be the biggest Great Wolf Lodge, a 700-room hotel and largest indoor water park – also home to the world’s largest concentration of water-borne bacteria.

A Philadelphia bakery apologized after making a cake honoring a police officer’s service anniversary with a Philadelphia Police Department logo reading ‘Coffee Donuts Corruption’ instead of ‘Honor Integrity Service’. The cop still ate the cake along with coffee & donuts.

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Three new Democratic Senators were sworn in, including Raphael Warnock and Alex Padilla, who replaced Kelly Loeffler and Vice President Kamala Harris – leading established Senators to complain the place is now an even bigger sausage fest.

Despite his pardon from Donald Trump, rapper Kodak Black still faces sexual assault charges in South Carolina. Prosecutors are busily preparing for their Kodak Moment.

The CW Network debuts ‘Walker’, a reboot of ‘Walker – Texas Ranger’. The new show stars Jared Padalecki, after producers rejected an alternate spinoff starring Chuck Norris’ toupee.

Golfer Justin Thomas was dropped by sponsor Ralph Lauren and will enter a training program, following use of a homophobic slur after he missed a putt. Thomas apologized, and said if the ball went in the hole, he’d have used a pro-gay word.

Jill Biden is the 1st First Lady to hold a paid job outside of the White House. She said she needs to do it for the better health insurance.

President Biden signed an executive order requiring face masks on planes. A Spirit Airlines spokesperson said their passengers already do so, to keep from smelling each other.

The Cleveland Cavaliers defeated the Brooklyn Nets 147-135, in a game both coaches praised as their teams’ best defensive outing of the season.

Fox News’ Sean Hannity criticized Joe Biden’s inaugural speech, referring to the new President as “frail” and “cognitively struggling”. Hannity closed the show saying “and let’s welcome our new head writer, Stephen Miller..”

Medical experts say Johnson & Johnson’s single-dose COVID vaccine could be a game-changer, once everyone gets it in 2024.

Today marks the 4th Anniversary of the Global Women’s March – when thousands of women who missed it decide what they wanted to wear.