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The Rolling Stones retired the song ‘Brown Sugar’ over its racially-insensitive lyrics depicting slavery. Motley Crue also considered retiring songs that glamourize drug use and objectify women, before realizing they’d have no songs left.

Podcaster Joe Rogan contracted COVID-19 and is unvaccinated, but thinks Americans should get a vaccine and then get the COVID virus to build amazing antibodies. He’s also thinking of doing the same himself for the flu, AIDS and polio.

Donald Trump urged Republicans to sit out 2022 and 2024 elections unless the GOP acknowledges widespread fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election. Meanwhile Trump’s golf buddies plan to sit out games unless Trump acknowledges fraud on every scorecard he’s ever filled out.

Pakistan Airlines suspended flights to Afghanistan, citing extreme interference from the Taliban. Specifically, female flight attendants are being deemed too sexy when they show their hands to point out the exits or demonstrate how seat belts work.

10,000 United Auto Workers union members went on strike at Deere & Co. – makers of John Deere equipment. Factories have shut down because sympathetic employees won’t stage a Deere crossing of picket lines.

Trans employees and allies at Netflix plan a walkout on Wednesday, October 20th, to protest CEO Ted Sarandos’ comments supporting Dave Chappelle’s special ‘The Closer’, which they believe to be transphobic. Other employees plan a walkout to protest Rob Schneider’s Netflix comedy special just because it’s awful.

This weekend NASA’s 12-year ‘Lucy’ mission to explore Jupiter’s Trojan asteroids begins. Lucy spacecraft are being fortified with extra protection in case one of the Trojans breaks.

Laurel Grove Cemetery in New Jersey denies Jessica Tawil’s claims in a now-viral video that they stacked other bodies in her deceased sister Eman’s burial plot. This, despite a headstone reading ‘Vacancy’.

Cher is suing ex-husband Sonny Bono’s widow, Mary, saying Mary has withheld Cher’s royalties for their 1960s hits like ‘I Got You Babe’. Mary fired her lawyer for not working Pro Bono.

Pro golfer Hideki Matsuyama’s errant tee shot hit a spectator in the head, opening a cut that required six stitches to close, once Matsuyama hit the ball out of his skull with a 9-iron.

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A Delta Airlines flight from Charleston to Atlanta left the departure gate with 182 passengers but only 180 seats. They returned to the gate where the two extra passengers deplaned and boarded their intended Spirit Airlines flight where they’d bought Lavatory Economy seats.

The first Pakistan Airlines flight since U.S. troops withdrew from Afghanistan arrived at Kabul Airport. The jet refueled and took off with 150 passengers on board, and 10 clinging to the landing gear.

A new survey says law enforcement officers are among the U.S. most unhappy employees, even more so now that it’s tougher to just shoot unarmed citizens to cheer themselves up.

World’s Strongest Man Hafthor ‘The Mountain’ Bjornsson says that it’s a mistake to train to failure – lifting weights until you cannot complete a proper repetition. “Good to know!” said obese Americans not training at all.

New York City schools reopened for the first time in 18 months. Students will be required to wear masks, and bullies will demand your lunch money be paid to them via Venmo.

Countries are wary of the United Nations’ request for aid to Afghanistan, given that they’re now under Taliban rule. So instead the Taliban started a GoFundMe to put new transmissions in attack helicopters left behind by the U.S. Army.

A Lowville, New York hospital will stop delivering babies due to workers quitting over a vaccine mandate. The hospital is hiring additional orderlies to keep babies from coming out.

Former Trump White House aide Steve Bannon ‘media-coached’ Jeffrey Epstein for 15 hours, since Epstein believed he was to be interviewed by 60 Minutes. After Epstein was jailed, Bannon coached him for 15 minutes on knot-tying.

Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett addressed the University of Louisville law school, telling them the high court is “not a bunch of partisan hacks”. “Speak for yourself” said Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Walmart said a press release annoucing a partnership with cryptocurency Litecoin is fake, while adding that they’re not going to endorse crypto when most Walmart customers barely know how regular money works.

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Science & art festival ‘Maker Faire’ has halted operations and laid off all 22 employees, many of whom can now be seen at ‘Job Faire’.

New York City’s Four Seasons luxury restaurant is closing, after finding diners preferred Five Guys.

An 81-year-old Florida man is suing Jaguar, saying the automatic door on his $96,000 car tore off a portion of his thumb. He plans to take the fight all the way to the Supreme Court of Rich White Guy Problems.

Brad Pitt ordered organizers of the controversial Straight Pride Parade to stop using his likeness in their promotions. Straight Pride leaders are unfazed, having already secured Toby Keith as backup.

Dunkin’ warned customers of its Turnersville, NJ location they may have been exposed to Hepatitis A if they visited the store between May 18 and June 1, or if they ate a Glazed Hepatitis donut.

A Pakistan Airlines passenger delayed his flight by seven hours, opening the emergency exit door before departure, thinking it was the bathroom. He jumped on the inflatable emergency slide and messed up the tarmac.

Justin Bieber Tweeted to challenge Tom Cruise to a cage fight – ideally, to the death of both.

O.J. Simpson said in a telephone interview that he now lives a solitary life in Las Vegas, in what he calls the “No Negative Zone” – he only wants to be around, and murder, positive people.

YouTube superstar JoJo Siwa had her tween make up kit recalled from retailer Claire’s after the FDA found asbestos in it. Besides the mesothelioma risk, the FDA said that asbestos would prevent young girls from looking like ‘fire’.

Celine Dion ended her 16-year residency at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. With Dion’s show ending and Britney Spears on hiatus, Carrot Top has started singing lessons.