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Online platform Fanvue announced the finalists in the Miss AI Pageant – a contest for AI-generated female personas. Judging will be based on realism, their social clout, and the number of dick pics received in online voting.

Apple unveiled a new calculator app for iPad OS 18, which displays math work written with an Apple Pencil, has graphing features, and when you enter 80085 will display actual boobs.

An activist investor is seeking a hostile takeover of Southwest Airlines, citing disappointing financial results. A passenger on a Spirit Airlines flight experienced a hostile takeover of his aisle seat by a large bully who paid $26 for his ticket.

A man celebrating his recovery from prostate cancer surgery at a diner sneezed, forcing part of his colon to fall out of his body. He was rushed to a nearby hospital and is fine, while other diner patrons asked not to have whatever he ordered.

The WNBA is experiencing record TV viewership with the arrival of rookie Caitlin Clark. It’s such a big jump, Clark is being recruited to play in the United Football League next year to help their crummy ratings.

A 21-year-old man was assaulted by two other men just before sundown on Saturday at the Jersey Shore’s Wildwood boardwalk. He was treated and is recovering at the Calmwood boardwalk.

Moderna is reporting positive test results from its combination flu/COVID vaccine, saying immunity is as good as the individual shots, and they can get two tracking microchips in test subjects at the same time.

Increased occupancy rates indicate malls and shopping centers are making a comeback. Shoplifting is making an even bigger comeback

Donald Trump is at risk of losing the liquor licenses for his Pennsylania and New Jersey golf & country clubs because he’s now a convicted felon. Trump executives Eric & Don Jr. hope to throw off regulators by changing the name of the clubs to Tromp.

Former ‘The Sopranos’ star Drea De Matteo said starting an OnlyFans account made her realize that she’s a ’52-year-old woman with a smokin’ hot body’. “I wouldn’t say ‘smokin’…” said a fan who cancelled.

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Philadelphia International Airport held a pep rally to welcome WrestleMania to the city – both the weekend-long WWE event, and arriving Spirit Airlines flights where drunk passengers grappled with flight attendants.

The man who received a kidney transplant from a pig was released from the hospital and went home, but not before stopping to meet with, and thank, the family of the donor pig that fatally crashed its car.

Research shows people who took a multivitamin for 3 years slowed cognitive brain aging by 2 years. The study found 7-year-olds with three years of Flintstones chewables consumpion had the brains of 5-year-olds.

A bird flu outbreak in Texas resulted in egg producers having to kill 2 million egg-producing chickens. It’s the first time pro-life activists have protested outside of poultry farms.

Some scientists are warning bird flu could be worse than COVID. Although they’re also working on an mRNA vaccine containing the flu which wouldn’t be administered with a needle, but rather by eating McNuggets.

Costco is now selling popular drugs Wegovy and Ozempic as part of a store-sponsored weight-loss program. Although they’re not selling well because they’re only available by the pallet and cost $75,000.

A friend of Tiger Woods claims he’s abstaining from sex while training for The Masters. However, he’s narrowed the field down to 64 restaurant hostesses to be first in line once he misses the cut on Friday night.

Some parts of the U.S. could see cloudy skies during next week’s total solar eclipse, prompting attack ads from the Trump campaign.

The U.S. reportedly authorized more bombs for Israel, as Pauly Shore announced six April shows in Tel Aviv.

Alaska Airlines says Boeing paid the company $160 million as compensation for the required grounding of Boeing’s 737 Max 9 jets. Boeing said they wanted to provide a sum that, like their jets, blew Alaska Airlines doors off.

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The Rolling Stones retired the song ‘Brown Sugar’ over its racially-insensitive lyrics depicting slavery. Motley Crue also considered retiring songs that glamourize drug use and objectify women, before realizing they’d have no songs left.

Podcaster Joe Rogan contracted COVID-19 and is unvaccinated, but thinks Americans should get a vaccine and then get the COVID virus to build amazing antibodies. He’s also thinking of doing the same himself for the flu, AIDS and polio.

Donald Trump urged Republicans to sit out 2022 and 2024 elections unless the GOP acknowledges widespread fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election. Meanwhile Trump’s golf buddies plan to sit out games unless Trump acknowledges fraud on every scorecard he’s ever filled out.

Pakistan Airlines suspended flights to Afghanistan, citing extreme interference from the Taliban. Specifically, female flight attendants are being deemed too sexy when they show their hands to point out the exits or demonstrate how seat belts work.

10,000 United Auto Workers union members went on strike at Deere & Co. – makers of John Deere equipment. Factories have shut down because sympathetic employees won’t stage a Deere crossing of picket lines.

Trans employees and allies at Netflix plan a walkout on Wednesday, October 20th, to protest CEO Ted Sarandos’ comments supporting Dave Chappelle’s special ‘The Closer’, which they believe to be transphobic. Other employees plan a walkout to protest Rob Schneider’s Netflix comedy special just because it’s awful.

This weekend NASA’s 12-year ‘Lucy’ mission to explore Jupiter’s Trojan asteroids begins. Lucy spacecraft are being fortified with extra protection in case one of the Trojans breaks.

Laurel Grove Cemetery in New Jersey denies Jessica Tawil’s claims in a now-viral video that they stacked other bodies in her deceased sister Eman’s burial plot. This, despite a headstone reading ‘Vacancy’.

Cher is suing ex-husband Sonny Bono’s widow, Mary, saying Mary has withheld Cher’s royalties for their 1960s hits like ‘I Got You Babe’. Mary fired her lawyer for not working Pro Bono.

Pro golfer Hideki Matsuyama’s errant tee shot hit a spectator in the head, opening a cut that required six stitches to close, once Matsuyama hit the ball out of his skull with a 9-iron.