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A New Jersey worker at Olive Garden was confirmed to have hepatitis A. For a limited time, diners can pay one price for unlimited soup, salad, breadsticks and liver damage.

  • He was diagnosed after a recent shift, and will not be allowed to return to work until cleared by a medical professional, or until another line cook quits.

People are paying up to $12,000 to have their eye color changed. Others are going blind and suing the makers of Just For Men and L’Oreal eye color kits.

A Florida school district removed dictionaries to review them for content describing sexual conduct. Mississippi school districts removed them following complaints from students that they couldn’t follow the story.

Popeyes is offering free wings if the Eagles, Ravens, or Buffalo win the Super Bowl. If the Dolphins win, StarKist will stop putting them in tuna cans.

eBay was fined $3 million after employees sent live spiders and cockroaches to harass a couple who criticized the company. eBay is also being sued by customers who say they never received the spiders and cockroaches they purchased.

Disney’s Pixar animation studio will reportedly undergo significant layoffs in 2024. What goes ‘Up’ must come ‘Down’.

Former ‘Good Morning America’ host TJ Holmes said he’d down up to 18 drinks a day after he was fired for an affair with co-host Amy Robach – expanding a good morning to a good afternoon & evening, as well.

Flight attendants revealed a code word for difficult passengers, ‘Philip’. It originated from PILP, ‘Passenger I’d Like to Punch. On Spirit Airlines, alpha passengers are called AFCs, for Airborne Fight Club Champions.

A University of Colorado study finds cannabis can motivate users to exercise. That’s if you count running to the door to get the pizza as a workout. [h/t to J.O.!]

Hertz Rental Car is selling 20,000 electric vehicles. Hertz claims the electrics are expensive to repair, and that only about 20% of customers renting them pay the extra fee for a full tank of gas.

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A New Jersey woman was sucked into a sewer and shot out into a river over a mile away. She says she won’t return to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor. [story h/t to J.L.]

Two Jimmy John’s sandwich shop employees were fired for posting a video where they made a noose out of bread dough. Jimmy John’s is also pulling the Hangman’s Ham Hoagie from their menu.

Kanye West’s family is reportedly concerned that he’s experiencing a serious bipolar episode. In related news, Kanye agreed to participate in his first presidential candidate debate against himself.

Lavicia Leslie will assume the title role in CW Network’s comic book drama ‘Batwoman’, vacated by lesbian actress Ruby Rose. Leslie, a black bisexual actress, is attracted to both cats and penguins.

A wooden statue of Melania Trump was set on fire in her native Slovenia. No response yet from the wooden statue in the East Wing.

Supermarket chain Wegmans announced the permanent closure of all its in-store pubs, following the latest fatal shopping cart DUI in the frozen food aisle.

The FDA warned of hand sanitizers that contain wood alcohol. The sanitizer is toxic if absorbed through the skin, yet smooth and delicious with a splash of Coke.

The mayor of Seoul, South Korea has been reported missing. All available cops have been called in to do some serious Seoul searching.

A 12-year-old girl won $20,000 for creating a car seat device that helps prevent hot-car deaths. She plans to spend the money helping her 3-year-old brother recover from prototype testing.

Decommissioned police body cameras are being sold on eBay, and hackers buying them are finding troves of video evidence, much of which captures distraught employees being shaken down for free Dunkin donuts.

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Two members of rock band Journey were fired, accused of using a holding company to gain control of the Journey name & trademark for financial gain. In other news, the name & trademark for Dexy’s Midnight Runners sold for $4.59 on eBay.

According to the Boston Herald, a phone call between New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and QB Tom Brady “did not go well”. Presumably, when Brady found out three different people were recording it.

Retired NHL tough guy Matthew Barnaby, formerly of the Buffalo Sabres, was arrested in Nashvillle for allegedly choking the bouncer at a bar. Barnaby was taken to a hospital when he jumped out of the moving squad car after five minutes.

Katy Perry officially announced she’s expecting a baby with fiancee Orlando Bloom. Perry tweeted “omg so glad I don’t have to suck it in anymore”.  Bloom replied “wait..what?”.

Donald Trump told Sean Hannity he thinks it’s okay if people with coronavirus continue to go to work, but only after they watch five hours of tv in the morning and eat a hearty hamburger or fried chicken lunch.

Starbucks is suspending customers’ using their own mug or tumbler to be filled with coffee drinks, citing coronavirus concerns. So now, expect the person ahead of you to punctuate their pretentious 60-second order with an equally long argument.

Ryan Seacrest of ‘Live with Kelly & Ryan’ revealed part of his preshow routine is to not make eye contact with co-host Kelly Ripa. Husbands of their biggest fans say it’s just like their weekday routine of never making eye contact with the show.

In a meeting with airline executives about coronavirus plans, Donald Trump claimed he hadn’t touched his own face in weeks. He added that he’s fine not touching his face as long as he can pick his nose and teeth.

The makers of Tito’s vodka warned it can’t be used in homemade hand sanitizer because it’s only 40% alcohol. The makers of Bankers Club vodka say they actually prefer you using it as hand sanitizer instead of drinking it.

Target employees claim they’ve received no communication from senior management about how to handle the coronavirus. Walmart employees say they’ve been told to keep coughing on customers and napping as usual.