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Pope Francis revealed confidential details of the secret papal voting conclave in an interview for an upcoming book. He claims he was asked to participate in a scheme to block the election of Pope Benedict in 2005 – but Mike Pence refused to help.

Donald Trump’s $175 million bond to appeal his New York State financial fraud conviction was issued by high interest auto lender Knight Insurance Group. Details weren’t revealed but it’s believed to cost him 20% every month, but they’re throwing in a repossessed Pontiac Aztek.

Regulators are concerned over the growing popularity of smokeless, tobacco-free nicotine pouches such as Zyn among young people, creating a new wave of nicotine addiction. Zyn pouches surpassed Takis as the most-traded-for item in junior high cafeterias.

Executive consultancy McKinsey is cutting staff, but is paying them to find new jobs. The bad news is they have to pay other McKinsey consultants $500/hour to help them.

‘Selling Sunset’ celebrity realtor Christine Quinn obtained a restraining order against husband Christian Dumontet after his violent outbursts. Quinn has downgraded their marriage from ‘fixer upper’ to ‘total teardown’.

Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky is lowering the draft age for the national army, fortifying troop levels, but making high school girls soccer teams less competitive.

Researchers discovvered that the nutrients in vegetables such as green beans, broccoli and asparagus have dropped significantly over the last 50 years. This evidence was presented to a young couple by their 3rd-grader as he lobbied to have Froot Loops for dinner.

200 musicians authored an open letter calling on tech companies to refrain from irresponsible use of Artificial Intelligence. The letter was signed by artists including Billie Eilish, Nicki Minaj, hologram Tupac and the four avatars who now make up KISS.

New York’s Metropolitan Transit Authority, MTA, wants to charge runners in the NYC Marathon for crossing the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge. Or if they don’t want to pay up, swim across the Hudson River and call it the NYC Two-Thirds Of A Triathlon.

NFL Network ‘Good Morning Football’ host Jamie Erdahl described complications surrounding the emergency c-section birth of her daughter on March 30th. Her daughter is healthy, but her co-host’s use of the telestrator as she told the story was awkward.

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Homeland Security raided the homes of music mogul Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs as part of an alleged sex trafficking investigation. No further details were given, but the Feds are calling this a Biggie.

Combs’ houses in Miami & Los Angeles were raided, so let it be known Diddy was doing his part bring both East Coast & West Coast rappers together.

The grandmother of two of the ‘Little Rascals’ robbers – aged 11 & 12 – who held up a Wells Fargo Bank in Houston said the teller gave them play money. Nonetheless, the two boys were apprehended at a playground as they ‘made it rain’ while young girls danced on the monkey bars.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce reportedly shut down a Los Angeles gym for a two-hour private workout while members waited and watched outside. As they left, women shouted at Taylor for autographs, and men shouted corrections to her lifting form.

Krispy Kreme is expanding its partnership with McDonald’s and will be sold at all locations by the end of 2026. Customers ordering a Quarter Pounder will be asked if they want the burger or a really big doughnut.

A court lowered Donald Trump’s bond requirement to appeal his financial fraud judgment from $454 million to $175 million, and gave him 10 days to come up with the money. Trump then invited friends from North Korea, Russia & China to Mar a Lago for a Classified Documents Garage Sale.

A container ship struck and collapsed the Francis Scott Key Bridge outside of Baltimore. Viral video showed the action between 1 and 2 a.m., and gave proof through the night that the bridge was not there.

Arnold Schwarzenegger got a pacemaker. His blood is so heavy, his heart needed help pumping all the iron.

The U.S. Justice Department sued Apple, saying its market share of iPhones is a practical monopoly. Apple plans to drop a countersuit, then pay a fortune to fix the cracks in it.

Former NFL star Eric Decker – husband of viral singer/celebrity Jessie James Decker – announced he’d had a vasectomy after fathering four children. Future babies are not expected to make this latest round of cuts.

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Singer Billie Eilish said she “didn’t realize people didn’t know” about her sexuality. She also didn’t realize the vast majority of people don’t care, either.

Taylor Swift watched from a suite at Lambeau Field as her boyfriend Travis Kelce’s Kansas City Chiefs lost to the Green Bay Packers. She consoled Kelce, telling him he’ll have a better show tomorrow night.

Yemen’s Houthi rebels launched drone & missile fire at Israeli commercial vessels in the Red Sea. Texts from the ship captains read “New attacks. Houthis?”

Former Trump White House official Alyssa Farah Griffin told a CNN host that she was surprised by Donald Trump’s “lack of sharpness” while giving confusing remarks at an Iowa rally. She added that Trump’s assistants have tried and failed to sneak Prevagen in to his Big Macs.

Nick Cannon – father to 12 children – said in an interview that he spends over $200,000 at Disneyland every year. He expects that number to go up with child support payments now that he’s gotten Snow White & Cinderella pregnant.

The Tucson federal prison housing Derek Chauvin said Chauvin was stabbed 22 times in last week’s incident. Officials are investigating a possible second assailant because the first guy’s arm got tired.

Spotify is cutting 17% of its staff, citing a need for cost reduction because those one-twentieth-of-one-cent per-play royalties to Taylor Swift and Beyonce are adding up.

Sylvester Stallone visited Philadelphia as December 3rd was recognized by the city as ‘Rocky Day’. Then the Eagles got blown out at home 42-19 and it was a Reeeeally Rocky Day.

Three University of Colorado assistant football coaches resigned, and Head Coach Deion Sanders’ fiancee broke off their engagement and will enter the Relationship Transfer Portal.

KISS played their final in-person concert at Madison Square Garden, but said their digital avatars will continue to perform shows for years to come. Then Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley’s digital avatars fired the virtual drummer and lead guitarist.