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Rutledge Deas IV, 31, of Metairie, Louisiana, was arrested for faking being handicapped to get caregivers to change his diapers. He was found guilty of the same crime in 2019, and was sentenced to probation and unsuccessful toilet training.

Rather than pay $22,000 to replace the battery in his 2013 Tesla Model S, a man in Finland filled it with 66 pounds of dynamite and blew it up. A YouTube video of the explosion has racked up thousands of views, but the man says he can’t find his dog.

A former TikTok content moderator is suing the company, saying she screened thousands of traumatic videos, but the company did nothing to protect her mental health. Asked what was in the videos, she said mostly teachers and dads dancing.

Yu Siang Garden, a Chestnut Hill, Pennsylvania Chinese restaurant, was robbed on Christmas Day. It’s a crime that had many other would-be robbers saying to themselves “now why didn’t I think of that?”

Multiple cruise ships are reporting COVID outrbreaks and are returning to their home ports. These include the Norwegian Corona, Carnival Delta, and Royal Caribbean Omicron.

T Mark Taylor, designer of the original He-Man and Masters of the Universe toys, died at age 80 in Southern California, but he will live on through Eternia.

A woman was disinvited from her friend’s wedding party because she was told she looked too good in the bridesmaid dress. She’s doing fine, but four of the ushers and groomsmen volunteered to check on her just in case.

Ayanna Davis, 20, a substitute teacher at a Florida high school, admitted to sex with an underaged student, which was recorded and shown to members of the football team. Police have not seen the video but are trying to find it, and are being aided in their search by every teen boy at the high school.

Las Vegas police who pulled over a pickup truck for a routine traffic stop found a severed head and several other body parts stuffed in a cooler. Cops arrested the man, who they describe as a “pretty terrible magician”.

Actress Valerie Bertinelli shared a tearful Instagram video discussing her struggles with weight and body image, then deleted thousands of comments under it from people making bad “take it ‘One Day At A Time'” puns.

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2020 U.S. Census results are expected to show the number of white people in the U.S. shrinking, and population growth driven entirely by other ethnic groups. The Proud Boys are considering calling themselves a minority supremacy group.

David Schwimmer denied recent reports that he’s dating Friends co-star Jennifer Aniston. Aniston said they’re still on a permanent break.

Authorities in Italy say the island of Sicily may have set an all-time heat record of 119.8 degrees – driven by a rare anticyclone, and grandmothers refusing to turn their ovens off baking manicotti.

Southwest Airlines said the COVID-19 Delta variant is hurting its business, saying they have fewer drunk & disorderly passengers to pick the seat they get duct-taped into.

Tropical depression Fred is set to hit Florida. It’s set to be the second-biggest depression in Florida, the first being sick kids on ventilators in hospitals.

America’s Got Talent judge Simon Cowell got emotional speaking with contestant Jane ‘Nightbirde’ Marczewski, praising her courage and talent as she battles cancer. Cowell then promptly returned to telling other people how much they suck.

An asteroid called Bennu has a chance of striking Earth sometime in the next 300 years. “Could you be more specific?” asked Earthlings.

Taco Bell debuted their Taco Bell Defy concept, a drive-thru only restaurant with four lanes – one traditional, two for mobile pickups, and one for the ambulance.

A piece of Prince Charles & Princess Diana’s wedding cake from 1981 sold for over $2,000. Unlike Charles & Diana, it recently celebrated it’s 40th Anniversary on July 29th.

A judge ruled Norwegian Cruise Lines can mandate COVID vaccines for passengers and crew boarding tours departing from Florida, scoring a victory for traveler’s rights to get seasick.

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Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away. The remaining justices expressed their condolences in a 5-3 majority opinion.

Bryson Dechambeau won the U.S. Open Men’s Golf Championship by six strokes, in a tournament seen by millions during commercials while football games were on.

As part of contentious divorce proceedings, Dr. Dre’s estranged wife Nicole Young is asking for half ownership of the Dr. Dre name. Death Row Records tracks would be rereleased with credits to Dr. Nicole.

Christina Anstead, co-host of HGTV’s ‘Flip Or Flop’ with ex-husband Tarek El Moussa, separated from current husband Ant Anstead. Antstead is her second Flip and soon-to-be second Flop.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged over 500 points early Monday amidst fears of coronavirus and flu season. Stocks are poised to rebound now that the Dow promised to wear a sweater and take Vitamin C.

A woman suspected of sending a letter to the White House poisoned with ricin has been arrested. Her accomplice told her she should have put it in a Big Mac instead.

Royal Caribbean & Norwegian cruise lines submitted new health protocols to the CDC in hopes of gaining approval to sail again. They also submitted plans for new Hospice Cruises for people who wanted to die at sea, anyway.

Palm Springs, California airport is seeing an rapid expansion of air traffic, as travelers seek the dry desert air to escape coronavirus concerns when they come out as gay.

A rare ‘blue moon’ – the second full moon in a month – will light the sky on Halloween night. So trick-or-treaters can say they caught COVID-19 once in a blue moon.

An August 7th wedding in Maine has now been linked to 8 deaths from COVID-19, and more than 50 terrible gifts from cheap guests.

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Lucky’s, an organic grocery store in the midwestern U.S., announced that it’s closing most of its stores. Since it’s organic, their inventory will liquidate itself in a day or two.

Disney CEO Bob Iger apologized and pledged a donation after a licensing arm charged a PTA meeting $250 for showing a DVD of The Lion King at a ‘Parents Night Out’ fundraiser. To avoid Disney conflicts, the PTA announced next month’s DVD will be Naughty Night-Call Nurses 13.

Aurora Cannabis, a Canadian company with aggressive plans for global expansion, announced 500 layoffs. A spokesperson for the workers said “..wait…what?…”

A UCLA analysis concluded that coffee had a “strong and consistent protective association” with prevention of colorectal and uterine cancers; adding the protective effects are achieved by drinking it, not by pouring it in, or near, those organs.

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards annouced that he quit cigarette smoking in October, and that he now looks and feels like a 98-year-old.

A study of hospital emergency room visits in 2018 claims 3,800 people sought medical help for pizza-related injuries. They include finger lacerations with pizza cutters, mouth burns, and DDUI – the second D is for Domino’s .

Pregnant WWE wrestlers Nikki and Brie Bella revealed they both conceived their babies in the same place, and – after a lengthy explanatory discussion from their ob/gyn – in pretty much the same way.

Norwegian Cruise Lines is refusing to refund the $32,000 paid by a family who cancelled a cruise to Asia over coronavirus concerns. Norwegian offered the family credit to use on a different cruise where they can contract norovirus and the flu instead.

Finley, a golden retriever in Canandaigua, New York is able to fit six tennis balls in his mouth without any human assistance. The dog’s owners are being bombarded with inquiries about talk show appearances and to see if he has a Grindr profile yet.

Antarctica temperatures hit a record 65 degrees. It’s so warm, penguins are giving seals buzz-cuts.