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New research finds getting angry for just 8 minutes can raise the risk of heart attack and stroke. Doctors advise using relaxation techniques, or training to beat people up in 7 minutes or less.

A Pro-Palestine protestor on the campus of Stanford University was pictured wearing a Hamas headband. Even more disturbing was the protestor saying he bought the headband at Fanatics.

Women are reporting sagging ‘Ozempic breasts’ due to loss of fatty tissue as they drop weight. They say they can’t afford restorative implants because of Ozempic’s cost, so they’re turning to padded bras and the McDonald’s Dollar Menu.

TikTok and Universal Music Group agreed to an increased royalty payment structure, so now music from Universal artists like Ariana Grande and Billie Eilish can play while you attempt the newest deadly viral challenge.

The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency plans to declassify marijuana as a less-dangerous Schedule III narcotic, thereby opening up legal interstate sales of it, and the inevitable Amazon Basics Weed.

Nose-pickers are more likely to incur serious staph infections. And are also more likely to lie about how they got a staph infection.

Red Lobster is reportedly on the verge of Chapter 11 bankruptcy, owing to ongoing losses from a popular Endless Shrimp promotion, and low demand for its Endless Mixed Vegetables promotion.

The judge in Donald Trump’s hush-money trial is holding another gag order hearing. He’s considering issuing a Talk All You Want About Anything Order, in hopes that Trump will violate that and shut up for once.

Viral video of a Miami-area bowling alley brawl shows one woman throwing bowling balls at another woman and hitting her in the head. There haven’t been this many Miami women getting hit with balls since Diddy’s last mansion party.

The executor of O.J. Simpson’s estate invited the families of murder victims Nicole Brown & Ronald Goldman to a meeting. He wouldn’t reveal any planned compensation to the families, but he did ask them if they needed golf clubs or football cards.

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A large hole blew open in the passenger cabin of an Alaska Airlines jet mid-flight, sucking off the shirt of a boy seated nearby. It’s the first time a boy’s clothing has been sucked off in-flight since the Vatican’s annual Altar Boys Trip to Greece.

Following the incident, Alaska Airlines grounded its fleet of Boeing 737 Max 9 jets. Spirit Airlines emailed to ask if they were selling them and for how much.

A woman was found dead in South Philadelphia, impaled on an iron gate outside the Xfinity Live! sports bar. Her friends reportedly asked her to go with them to a different bar, but she was on the fence.

Following the firing of Head Coach Ron Rivera, Washington Commanders owner Josh Jacobs assembled an advisory group to guide team decisions, including Magic Johnson. Johnson told Jacobs to sign six kickers so they can make more 3-pointers.

Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin failed to notify the White House when he was hospitalized in intensive care on December 22nd. Austin apologized, but said with wars in Ukraine and Gaza, he didn’t want to drop another bomb on Joe Biden so close to Christmas.

Low-carb diets may not lead to weight loss, according to a new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and funded by The Grimace Institute.

After two days, rescuers successfully reached tourists & guides stuck in Slovenia’s Krizna Jama cave – which dropped 30 spots on Trip Advisor’s list of ‘Fun Things To Do In Slovenia’.

A group of dietitians released a list of the best foods to eat if you want healthy hair. Topping the list was the Chipotle Burrito Bowl, which contained the highest amount of healthy hair.

Pro-Palestinian protetors blocked traffic at three New York City bridges and the Holland Tunnel – to the delight of drivers getting extra time to text and scroll Instagram.

A Las Vegas felon – who went viral for diving over a judge’s bench & attacking her -will appear before her again. Added precautions are in place; the man will be handcuffed, and the trampoline in front of the bench will be removed.

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The CEO of cryptocurrency exchange Binance resigned after they were slapped with $4 billion in fines for money laundering and other illegal activities. They were also warned not to try paying the $4 billion with Dogecoin.

A mystery respiratory illness is spreading among dogs and baffling veterinarians. Vets are frantically contact-tracing to see if sick dogs sniffed the same infected butt.

Martha Stewart said she didn’t ‘cancel Thanksgiving’ after claiming she was “turkeyed out” on The Kelly Clarkson Show. Stewart stated she’s baking lemon tarts, cranberry tarts, chocolate pecan pies, pecan pies, pumpkin pies and a 20-pound bird. And boy, are her 30 assistants tired.

With Elon Musk allowing antisemitic and anti-Muslim comments on X, Paris Hilton’s media company pulled their advertising from the platform. But first, Paris asked her assistants to spell X just to make sure she was boycotting the right app.

American Airlines responded to viral video of a passenger’s wheelchair crashing on to the Miami International Airport tarmac as baggage handlers looked on. American assured everyone their baggage workers were far more careful handling the paraplegic who also flew to Miami in the cargo hold.

A woman flying from Florida to Philadelphia aboard Frontier Airlines pulled down her pants and threatened to urinate in the aisle because a flight attendant wouldn’t allow her to use the restroom. Since the woman wouldn’t pay Frontier Airlines $29, she had to wait and use the bucket like everyone else.

Susan Sarandon was dropped by her talent agency for remarks she made at a pro-Palensinian rally. Producers now have to recast and scrap two weeks of filming on Bad Moms Hanukkah.

Oprah Winfrey’s bestie Gayle King revealed on The Drew Barrymore Show that King’s former friend was secretly collecting $50,000 to set up meetings with her. She discovered it when the friend spilled her purse and King saw a $50,000 check from Drew Barrymore.

Daryl Hall is suing John Oates in a contract debt-related filing. Hall claims Oates is a little short.

Thousands of blue rubber balls washed up on a British beach were determined to come from a nearby power plant where they’re used to clean pipes. British men with blue balls on the beach fantasized about someone cleaning their pipes.

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Republicans in the House of Representatives removed Wyoming’s Liz Cheney from her position as GOP House Chair in a closed-door vote. Cheney emerged from the meeting, said the vote was a fraud, and once again gained Donald Trump’s support.

Violence continued between Israel and Palestine, with the two factions trading rocket attacks and air strikes. The U.S. is hoping to broker a cease fire so the two sides can have the annual Israeli/Palestinian All-Star Game.

The NFL releases its 2021 schedule tonight. They’re expected to showcase 17 prime-time games featuring Tom Brady’s Super Bowl Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and special halftime shows featuring Aaron Rodgers pouting in front of a mirror.

Tyson Foods, a leading chicken supplier, claims their current chicken supply shortage is because newer roosters selected for breeding “aren’t meeting expectations”. Tyson hens put it more bluntly, saying “just admit it, they’re gay”.

Los Angeles County records show that Caitlyn Jenner did, indeed, vote in the 2020 election. Jenner has not yet addressed her voting lie, but did release a statement admitting her current shade is not her natural hair color.

General manager Jennifer Lopez confirmed she’s designated Alex Rodriguez for assignment, with the purpose of granting his unconditional release. Lopez also announced designated hitter Ben Affleck has been given a 30-day tryout deal.

Horse trainer Bob Baffert – suspended after Derby winner Medina Spirit tested positive for steroids – admitted the horse was rubbed with ointment containing a banned substance. Baffert’s suspension is upheld, and Medina Spirit was ordered to stop hanging out with Barry Bonds.

Ellen Degeneres will end her daytime talk show after the 2022 season. Ellen informed her staff on May 11th, and promised to make time to belittle each and every one of them before the show ends.

Instagram users can now add pronouns to their profiles. “Is ‘big boobs’ a pronoun?” asked hundreds of influencers.

Frank Sinatra’s home in the California desert is for sale, priced at $4.25 million. It features a 5 bedroom, 5 bathroom main house on over 7 acres, with a pool, a guest house, and the unmarked graves of Teamsters leaders who refused to be bought.