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Portugal banned employers from texting employees after normal work hours. In related news, dozens of Portugese pimps declared bankruptcy.

Instagram is testing its Take A Break feature – where users spending too much time on the app are invited to go chill out on Facebook for a while.

76% of Americans believe Facebook has a negative impact on society. The other 24% just got 50 or more Likes for their last picture.

A security guard at Philadelphia’s Christmas Village was arrested for murder. Police confiscated the gun used in the sleighing.

A lobsterman in Casco Bay, Maine caught a rare blue-and-pink ‘cotton candy’ lobster. The lobster was removed from the trap, and declared its pronouns as they/them.

Inflation reached a 30-year high, a crucial statistic cited by the National Alliance Of Eight-Year-Olds seeking increases in their weekly allowance.

A Missouri man on trial for the murder of his wife said that he researched divorce instead, but who’s got that kind of time?

Hindus in New Delhi are bathing in the sacred Yamuna River for Chhath Puja, a festival celebrating the sun. Because the river is covered in a toxic foam from chemical pollutants, they’ll return for the I Hope My Chemotherapy Works festival.

President Joe Biden marked Veterans Day with a speech at the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier. It started late because Biden wanted to wait until the Soldier’s family arrived.

A new study from Japan shows cats can use “socio-spatial cognition” from their acute sense of hearing to mentally picture where their owners are at any given time. However, they only use it to confirm that the owner is standing next to the cat food.

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Organizers announced Saturday’s Million MAGA March in Washington DC to support Donald Trump. Area managers are bracing for mile-long lines of buses at DC-area McDonald’s drive-thrus.

Johnny Depp resigned from his role as Grindelwald in the Fantastic Beasts film series. He’ll pocket several million dollars and start work in the new Abusive Beasts movies.

An Egyptian man holding a small fish in his teeth was rushed to an emergency room after the fish jumped in his mouth and lodged in his throat. Doctors were able to remove it, but only after waiting two hours danging worms on his lips.

A male contestant on The Bachelorette tested positive for COVID-19. He’s quarantining until the coronavirus is neutralized by gonorrhea.

A man claiming to have some of Charles Manson’s cremation ashes had them used in a $500 face tattoo. No word on why he went with a dolphin jumping over a rainbow.

A new study finds 1 in 5 COVID-19 patients develop mental illness within 90 days. The study followed four teenagers and Donald Trump.

The White House issued a statement in observance of Veterans Day, reminding Americans that today is for active duty vets – and that Suckers & Losers Day is in late May.

Georgia will conduct a full by-hand recount of all votes. The Secretary of State said that this will instill confidence when they’re done in 2022.

Chipotle opened its first digital-only restaurant, now that they’ve figured out how to digitize food borne illness.

Oprah’s Favorite Things arrived on Amazon. The only one of her Favorite Things that Amazon didn’t list is actually getting sh!t delivered in two days.

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Applebees, Denny’s, Olive Garden and other restaurants are offering free meals in honor of Veterans Day. To receive the free meal, you must be a military veteran, or a food service veteran with PTSD.

In honor of Veterans Day, President Trump will attend a service honoring canines who wanted to serve, but were diagnosed with bone spurs in all four paws.

Much of the United States will experience record-breaking cold this week. It’s expected to break over 200 records, and shrink the number of August 2020 births by 80 percent on account of thick, fuzzy pajamas.

‘Love & Hip-Hop’ star Trina got into a fight at a Florida Walmart after bumping shopping carts with a woman who then called her a ‘n***** bitch’. Walmart said they were cancelling all remaining Black Friday dress rehearsals.

Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky said the rental service will now verify all of its listings, to give renters the peace of mind they need before they’re assaulted or murdered in a stranger’s house on vacation.

Food Network published a list of ‘100 Food Safety Red Flags’. Among them are: servers who appear to be ill; food that’s the wrong temperature; or anyone saying “welcome to Waffle House”.

Warner Brothers Animation released the trailer for Scoob! – the first feature-length animated Scooby-Doo film in decades. It’s the second-most anticipated movie in the Scooby-Doo Universe, right after Death of Scrappy-Doo.

A CBS News investigative report claims dating app fixation is causing user burnout. Users of dating apps say they’d be okay with it if the burnout was in their genitals, not their brains.

Jennifer Aniston was recognized as the 2019 ‘People’s Icon’ at the People’s Choice Awards. She’s only the second performer to receive it, the first being someone we’ve already forgotten about.

The Department of Transportation issued guidelines for families booking air travel, so that they’ll be seated together. They include booking early; reviewing an airline’s seating policy; and making sure Dad isn’t changing his seat assignment on purpose.