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Khloe Kardashian said she’s “not attracted” to ex Tristan Thompson, but didn’t rule out reconciling with him, because after all he’s the father of her kids, and a rich guy who’s still in the NBA.

Starbucks debuted their Holiday Cups. Then stood back and watched as customers with the Hanukkah and Eid al-Fitr cups fought each other ruthlessly.

Matthew McConaughey debuted Pantalones Tequila. He’s looking forward to doing weird-ass commercials for one of his own products for a change.

Responding to a rumor, former host of The Bachelorette, Chris Harrison, told former Dancing With The Stars pro Cheryl Burke he never blocked her from being The Bachelorette by calling her “a sloppy drunk”. He said he blocked her because she was over 30.

Apple just released iOS17.1, MacOS14.1 and WatchOS10.1 – forcing millions of remote workers to take the day off for Downloading.

A 29-year-old man was found dead inside a Norfolk, Virginia apartment building chimney after authorities were called to investigate a foul odor. Children in the apartments are just relieved he was removed before Christmas Eve.

Workers for SEPTA, Philadelphia’s public transit system, may go on strike, halting bus and trolley service. City officials are issuing guidance to residents for alternatives where they can masturbate and use drugs.

The NHL Ottawa Senators announced center Shane Pinto is suspended 41 games for violating the league’s gambling rules. Draft Kings, Fanduel, Caesars & other announced they’re now down to about 6 people who actively bet on hockey.

Britney Spears said in her memoir that Justin Timberlake used a “blaccent” when they met hip-hop artist Ginuwine – calling Timberlake disinginuwous.

An escort hired for $2,,500 from website Seeking Arrangements is accused of leaving a U2 concert in Las Vegas she attended with her ‘sugar daddy’ and stealing $50,000 from his hotel room safe. The daddy said he’s currently low on sugar.

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Elon Musk confirmed that some monkeys died while testing his Neuralink brain-implant chips. Although the monkey’s surviving mates believe they were murdered because the chips made them smarter than Elon Musk.

Joe Biden is expected to nominate Ketanji Brown Jackson as the first black woman Supreme Court justice. Jackson, in turn, is expected to nominate Biden as the first old white dude at her cookout.

Dancing With The Stars professional Cheryl Burke filed for divorce from husband Matthew Lawrence, citing irreconcilable differences, and the two being out-of-step.

Aaron Rodgers was seen with Shailene Woodley. Though no longer engaged, the two remain Friends With Huddles.

India banned 54 Chinese smartphone apps over security concerns, including TikTok. Indian officials say if citizens want to watch housewives sing and dance, they can watch Bollywood movies.

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle say they stand with the people of Ukraine…in the backyard of their California mansion.

John Mayer tested positive for COVID-19. Several groupies have bodies that are a wonderland, but can’t taste or smell.

New strains of bird flu have been detected in the U.S., reinforcing the misguided beliefs of Southern U.S. COVID deniers who say vaccines & masks are “for the birds”.

Hank The Tank, a 500-pound black bear blamed for dozens of home break-ins in the California mountains, may not be at fault based on DNA evidence collected by wildlife officials, and by raccoons who have been granted immunity for their testimony.

The View’s Joy Behar said on the show she’s worried the Russian invasion of Ukraine might impact her Italian vacation. Whoopi Goldberg then tagged Behar on her way out of suspension, as Behar tags in.

Sharon Osbourne, who was fired from her own daytime show, The Talk, said she would never go back because producing network CBS “sucks big-time d**k”. She was accompanied by husband Ozzy, who’s now interested in CBS.

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Shakira said she was attacked by wild boars who stole her purse while walking in Barcelona, but that it was still a better experience than meeting Harvey Weinstein to discuss a possible movie role.

Mick Jagger reportedly went unnoticed while visiting the Thirsty Beaver bar in Charlotte, North Carolina. Meanwhile a conflicting report claims a 78-year-old British guy was kicked out for strutting around like a chicken.

Dancing With The Stars professional dancer Cheryl Burke and her partner, Peloton instructor Cody Rigsby, both tested positive for COVID-19, despite each getting a paso doble-dose of vaccine.

Irmgard Furcher, the 96-year-old Nazi secretary who’d fled prior to her court trial to face concentration-camp murders, was captured and remanded to custody. She faces life in prison, or 90 days, whichever comes first.

McDonald’s is bringing back McRib, as the CDC expresses concern over the U.S.’ ability to handle another national health crisis.

Amazon introduced Astro, a new personal robot. It sells for $999, and completed extensive rigorous testing from Amazon warehouse employees tasking it with emptying their urine bottles.

Customs officials in Philadelphia seized $6.5 million in counterfeit U.S. currency from Russia, after confusing it with their annual bribe.

El Salvador is using energy from volcanoes to mine Bitcoin. Although a dozen miners died plugging the computers into the volcano.

The City of Philadelphia’s plastic bag ban begins today, leading to price hikes on street drugs as dealers scramble to find tiny paper bags.

Walt Disney World opened 50 years ago today, an anniversary celebrated by a now-70-year-old couple who arrived on opening day, and have almost reached the front of the line for Space Mountain.