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Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his hole and told everyone if they want to know what he did or didn’t see, they’ll have to tune in to Punxsutawney Eyewitness News at 6 & 11.

Tesla recalled 2.2 million vehicles because safety regulators say the font size of warning lights on the driver display is too small. Tesla argued the warning lights take up too much room on the screen where drivers like to watch movies.

Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani appeared to counter divorce rumors after being spotted together at a store in rural Texas. Although new rumors have started since Gwen Stefani isn’t exactly thrilled about spending time in rural Texas.

Darius Rucker was arrested in Tennessee for what’s being described as a ‘minor drug offense’, or ‘Hootie and no Blow’.

E. Jean Carroll’s lawyer, Roberta Kaplan, said Donald Trump threw papers during his deposition at Mar-A-Lago because his legal team bought her lunch. Trump then demanded the toy from her Happy Meal.

Customers buying the new $3,499 Apple Vision Pro enhanced-reality headset were offered in-store demos at the New York flagship Apple store. Several immediately downloaded a movie and were arrested for dropping their pants in the Apple Store.

A Philadelphia couple is demanding answers after their six-month old baby was left behind inside a locked daycare facility after the owners closed it for the night. The parents hope to get the answers when they drop the baby off at the same place today.

Scammers posing as a Drexel University professor tricked a candidate for a paid internship out of thousands of dollars. Meanwhile, actual administrators at University of Phoenix scam students out of thousands of dollars before they graduate and get jobs at Burger King.

A Baltimore mom and entrepreneur claims to be a successful marketing exec who’s also found $2 million worth of merchandise ‘dumpster diving’. Although much of the money is spent on treatment of wounds she’s incurred fighting off raccoons.

Fitness experts recommend doing weight training, then cardio, to maximize workout effectiveness if you’re doing both. For gym creeps, they recommend cardio first because it’s easier to stare at more people while using a bike or treadmill.

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Donald Trump spent $55 million of donor money on legal fees last year. His lawyers promised him a “large cash settlement” – which he got, but he has to pay it.

Trump said on Truth Social that he’s interviewing new lawyers to replace Alina Habba, who lost his defamation case and potentially cost him $83 million. Joining him in the interviews is wife Melania, who’s also looking for a lawyer, but won’t say why.

Bradley Cooper said watching co-star Vince Vaughn in ‘Wedding Crashers‘ changed his approach to acting because of Vaughn’s “willingness to fail”. Cooper’s comments appear in the new issue of Backhanded Compliments magazine.

Comcast agreed to stop using its ‘Xfinity 10G Network’ brand, after a ruling that it misleads consumers regarding Internet speeds. They will use 10G in other ways, like saying it costs a family 10G’s every couple years for cable,internet & phone service.

Netflix announced its full slate of tv shows coming in 2024, and, if they’re renewed, coming back in 2027.

Taylor Swift informed the NFL that she won’t make a cameo performance in Usher’s Super Bowl Halftime Show. Instead she’ll sit in a suite and be the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, & 4th quarter show.

A three-year-old toddler in Australia got stuck in a claw machine filled with stuffed animals and toys. Police arrived and broke the machine’s glass to free him, and arrested a man who’d unsuccessfully spent $200 trying to get the boy out.

The South Korean government urged citizens to stop eating deep-fried starchy toothpicks, since they’re concerned about food safety. Instead, they ask that South Koreans stick to eating cabbage that’s been fermented at room temperature for months.

February 1st marks the 20th Anniversary of ‘Nipplegate’, with Justin Timberlake exposing Janet Jackson’s breasts during the Super Bowl halftime show. Boobs did not reappear during Super Bowl halftime until 2011, when Black Eyed Peas showed up.

The Russian military has reportedly developed camouflage ‘invisibility cloaks’ capable of hiding soldiers at distances as close as 3 feet. They made the announcement after testing them in years-long games of Hide & Seek with Russian kindergartners.

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Ricardo, a large steer captured running on New Jersey Transit train tracks in December, is hospitalized with an infection. All of Ricardo’s girlfriends are advised to get tested.

A woman was trapped for 15 hours overnight in a gondola lift at Lake Tahoe’s Heavenly Ski Resort. The lift was apparently shut off with her in it, and things went downhill from there.

E. Jean Carroll said she plans to spend the $83 million awarded to her by the jury in her defamation lawsuit on “something Donald Trump hates”. She’ll still have $82,999,000 left after buying the treadmill.

For the first time ever, a live baby great white shark has been spotted in the wild off the California coast. The baby shark was fine having its picture taken, but begged whoever took the photo not to play the song.

Taylor Swift was seen mouthing the words “go away, please” as cameras showed her watching boyfriend Travis Kelce from a suite at the AFC Championship. An estimated 30 million people watching at home were saying the same thing to their TVs.

Eminem also watched from a suite as his Detroit Lions suffered a crushing defeat to the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship. No word on whether Eminem also hooked up with a tight end after the game.

Privacy advocates are concerned that Google plans to allow artificial intelligence to read and analyze texts sent on its Google Messages platform. AI already can tell which messages are really boring and lie about never getting the text.

Sofia Vergara said her acting jobs are “limited” because of her Colombian accent – but adds that meetings with producers are “plentiful” because of her breasts.

A 49-year-old military veteran faked needing a wheelchair for 20 years to collect almost $700,000 in disability benefits. He was working as a kindergarten teacher, where a confidential informant captured video of him doing the Hokey Pokey.

An Associated Press investigation found U.S. prison labor is used in the supply chain of many popular food brands, including Gold Medal flour, Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, and Double-Stuf Life Without Parole Oreo Cookies.

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The New York Times asked classical music critics to evaluate Bradley Cooper’s orchestra conducting as Leonard Bernstein in ‘Maestro‘. They agreed to do it on one condition – that they not have to watch the whole movie.

A judge ordered Rudy Giuliani to “immediately” pay the $148 million defamation settlement he owes to two Georgia election workers. Execs at GoFundMe reminded Giuliani he can’t run 148 million fundraisers at a time.

Apple plans to launch a “mixed reality” headset next year – with technology combining virtual & augmented reality. They’re inviting customers to Apple Stores to try it out and envision a reality where they have thousands of dollars to buy it.

For nearly 40 years, a set of human remains believed to be a victim of Seattle’s Green River Killer was known only as ‘Bones 17’. Advances in DNA technology finally provided investigators with a name: ‘Female Bones 17’.

TSA officers at New York’s LaGuardia Airport found 17 bullets in a clean disposable diaper in the carry-on bag of a male passenger bound for Chicago. He’s being investigated along with a 14-month old accomplice arrested with a concealed handgun.

Today marks the Winter Solstice – the longest night of the year. Or, second-longest next to the night of your kid’s school Christmas Pageant.

Starbucks CEO wants people to stop protesting the Israel/Hamas war at their stores – and get back to being dicks about how their half-caf, triple-vanilla-shot, soy milk, whipped cream, caramel drizzle frappucino order is wrong.

Jennifer Lopez says she still struggles with PTSD from the media attention over her first romance with Ben Affleck over 20 years ago, and embarrassment over being kicked out of a support group for veterans who served in Iraq.

An artificial intelligence death calculator developed at Technical University of Denmark reportedly predicts a person’s death date with uncanny accuracy. Although it keeps crashing from millions of people typing their spouse’s name into it.

A Michigan couple is suing their school district, saying their daughter was allowed to use male pronouns and take a new name without their permission. The district said the girl had merely gotten the lead as Kris Kringle in a school play.