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Disney is pulling back on Marvel & Star Wars content, according to CEO Bob Iger. He cites high production costs, and disappointing ratings for Jersey Shore: Avengers House; and Baby Yoda Meets Honey Boo Boo.

CEO Iger also disputed the idea that Disney sexualizes children. Iger said they identify the talented children, so that they can be sexualized when they become teenagers.

Union actors in the Screen Actors Guild decided to strike, joining Hollywood writers. Unfortunately, TikTok and YouTube “stars” have no plans to stop.

At the UK premiere of Christopher Nolan’s ‘Oppenheimer‘, the film’s stars walked out as a show of solidarity to striking writers and actors; they also freed up three hours of their time that evening.

Temperatures in Death Valley, California are expected to reach 130 degrees – giving local birds a chance to try out new Flamin’ Hot Worms.

India is seeking to become the fourth country to land a spacecraft on the moon, with the Chandrayaan-3 launch. Tbey’re considering manned missions to ensure victory in the first-ever interstellar spelling bee.

Wait times are now significantly shorter at Florida’s Disney World and Universal Studios Orlando theme parks. There are the same number of people in line, but riders are able to step over dozens of people in line who passed out from heat stroke.

A Los Angeles medical examiner determined Lisa Marie Presley died of a small bowel obstruction, or a hunka, hunka blockin’ stuff.

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are rumored to be cooperating with Special Prosecutor Jack Smith’s investigations of Donald Trump. Trump is reportedly frustrated with feelings of betrayal toward Ivanka, paired with the usual lust.

A 20-year-old woman is charged with supplying tainted drugs in the overdose death of Robert Deniro’s grandson. Sofia Marks is allegedly known as the ‘Percocet Princess’ – mainly because of the highness.

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Recent reexamination of early human hunter-gatherer societies conclude that women were active hunters, not just men. Although hunts including women took a lot longer to get started.

NATO allies are expected to approve the inclusion of Sweden – adding that nation’s powerful navy, and unequalled world-class Bikini Team.

Amazon Prime Day kicked off, with two days worth of deals on July 11th & 12th, followed by three days of record-breaking delivery driver heat strokes July 13/14/15.

Viral video shows four scantily-clad women having a spontaneous brawl inside the Wynn Las Vegas hotel. Security eventually broke it up, and the Wynn convinced the women to sign up for three more fights.

A new, damaging ransomware program called Big Head is being spread to PCs via a bogus Windows Update process. Experts say you can tell the Windows Update isn’t real because it takes less than an hour.

Donald Trump is asking for his classified documents felony trial to take place after the 2024 presidential election. And after his felony trial in New York for hush money payments. And after the felony trial he’ll probably have for the fake electors scheme. And after he dies.

Sega of America employees voted to unionize – pissing off thousands of kids now that Sonic the Hedgehog will only chase rings eight hours a day, with multiple mandatory half-hour breaks.

2019 All-Star Chicago White Sox pitcher Lucas Giolito announced that his wife Ariana Dubelko filed for divorce. Giolito has a four-seam fastball, curve, and change-up; Dubelko throws an effective splitter.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania published a guide to help determine whether published articles or academic works were generated by Artificial Intelligence. The guide was generated using artificial intelligence .

Psychologists advise people who are “bad” at flirting to use a ‘Triangle Method’ – looking at your desired woman or man’s one eye, then the mouth, then the other eye. Repeat until it works, or until the pepper spray kicks in.

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Pornhub blocked access to users in Virginia, Utah & Mississippi, after all three states passed laws requiring age verification to view it. Mississippi teenagers are especially frustrated after discovering they still can’t get in by holding up a fake ID to their laptop camera.

Heavy rain forced the delay or cancellation of 400 flights at Philadelphia International Airport. Baggage handlers appreciated the storms because of the lighter workload, and because they enjoy sleeping while it rains.

Disney World closed its Blizzard Beach water park, and will reopen it in early 2024 after major refurbishment, and after they add enough fresh water to drop the urine content below 25%.

Sarah Silverman is suing OpenAI, creator or ChatGPT, for using her content to train the artificial intelligence. Silverman filed the suit after ChatGPT got really better than her at telling jokes about Jewish girls having sex.

Elton John performed his final live show on his Goodbye Yellow Brick Road tour, ending a career spanning 50 years of touring and 30,000 bad toupees.

Convicted sex criminal and former USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar was stabbed by a fellow inmate. Nassar has cancelled all physical exams for men in leotards gearing up for the big Prison Olympiad.

A record number of Americans are living alone. 30 percent of American households are now comprised of a single person – and a dog or cat who get way too many Christmas presents.

Singer Dua Lipa attended the premiere of the Barbie movie in a see-through dress. Although, in keeping with Barbie tradition, she had her nipples removed.

A transgender woman won the Miss Netherlands pageant – keeping everyone guessing what’s in her Netherregions.

Donald Trump made a campaign stop at a Iowa Dairy Queen, where he didn’t know what a Blizzard is, but offered to send Don Jr & Eric to shovel out of it.

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A bus driver transporting the Pittsburgh Pirates from Chicago to Milwaukee was arrested and charged with drunk driving. He was detained, then assigned to the Pirates’ AA team.

University of West Virginia basketball coach Bob Huggins resigned one day after being arrested for DUI. Huggins reportedly blew a 0.3-pointer.

A 21-year-old Florida law student discovered a loophole and declared eligibility for the NBA Draft in Brooklyn, despite having never played organized basketball. He won’t be selected by a team, but has already had sex with three different Instagram influencers.

The Ecuadoran woman who pounded on the coffin lid at her wake has died after a week in intensive care. “Ok, now where we?..” said the funeral director at round two.

In two weeks, six temporary lanes are expected to open on the collapsed section of Interstate 95 in northeast Philadelphia. In two weeks and 25 minutes, crews will remove the first jackknifed tractor-trailer in the temporary lanes.

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker announced she’s pregnant with her fourth child and their first together. They haven’t yet trademarked a name for it.

Kardashian held up a sign at a Blink 182 concert reading “TRAVIS I’M PREGNANT”….as did two other women on the other side of the arena.

Ivanka Trump snubbed Donald Trump, posting a Father’s Day message only for her husband Jared Kushner. Tiffany Trump posted seven messages but Donald didn’t read them.

A fishing crew called Sensation missed out on a $3 million prize in North Carolina’s Big Rock Blue Marlin fishing tournament because the 619-pound marlin they caught had been bitten by sharks. The $3 million was awarded to a 400-pound marlin that turned itself in, then swam off to party.

A newly-divorced mother-of-three lost her entire $100,000 401k to a Tinder scammer who convinced her to invest it with him in a “pig butchering” scheme. She’s angry at losing the money, and asked that the scheme be changed to “milf butchering”.

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Actor Hugh Jackman warned the public of the dangers of skin cancer after undergoing a procedure to remove cancerous lesions. He said to wear sunscreen, but make sure you remove your Wolverine claws before putting it on.

Donald Trump told a crowd of dopes at Mar a Lago that the only crime he ever committed is fearlessly defending the U.S. from those who seek to destroy it – reinforcing the notion that Trump doesn’t even know what “crime” means.

Pornhub users searched “Stormy Daniels” over 650,000 times on Tuesday – and if you push away the other stuff, you can see the smile all over her face.

Viral video confirmed a rumor that Taylor Swift is secretly transported to the stage of her Eras Tour hidden in a janitor’s cart. A new rumor started that her dancers now stand further away on stage because she reeks of Pine Sol.

Businesses and influencers are angry that 22,000 job cuts at Facebook & Instagram “gutted” the customer service department. Reached for comment, Mark Zuckerberg said “wait, we had a customer service department??”

Tiger Woods appeared at The Masters, but said he doesn’t know “how many more I have in me”. Hostesses at Augusta-area restaurants also aren’t sure how many more times they can have Woods in them.

Brandon Johnson will be the next Mayor of Chicago, after winning a runoff election with Paul Vallas. Johnson took 20 minutes at his victory celebration stopping supporters from yelling ‘Let’s Go Brandon’.

Website Nameberry says “old money” baby names are trending – like Antigone, Emeline & Pandora for girls and Alistair, Piers & Sumner for boys. Coincidentally, “old money” names are projected to be “new bullying victim” names in about eight years.

Actress Kaley Cuoco gave birth to a daughter, Matilda, 9 months after a big bang with boyfriend Tom Pelphrey.

Kim Kardashian took her family on a vacation to Japan, spending countless hours fielding questions from her children on why everyone’s butt is so flat there.

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Donald Trump still hasn’t been arrested, as cops continue to look for a pair of handcuffs tiny enough.

Rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine was hospitalized after being beat up by several men while in the sauna of a Florida gym. An arrest warrant was issued for three sweaty gang members clad in towels with healthy, wide-open pores.

Cobresol Argentina goalkeeper Leandro Requena scored a goal on a 101-meter kick, the longest goal ever recorded in international competition. The opposing goalkeeper admitted he’d fallen asleep watching soccer.

Americans will soon be able to buy Good Meat – chicken meat grown in a lab. Asked if customers will eat chicken made in a lab, Good Meat’s CEO pointed out that the U.S. already consumes billions of McNuggets.

Two escaped inmates from a Newport News, Virginia prison were apprehended at a nearby IHOP a short time later. Their server notified police after the two ordered the Rooty Tooty Fugitive Fresh & Fruity pancakes.

Hyejeong Shin, a 29-year-old woman who enrolled at a New Jersey high school with a fake birth certificate before being discovered, told a judge she was lonely and missed having friendships. She’s currently awaiting sentencing and deciding between three promposals.

A new study claims the combined weight of the world’s wild mammals is just 10% of humans. Researchers believe animal populations need to grow by climate action, and animals need to grow with greater jungle access to Arby’s,

Nevada’s Chicken Ranch brothel welcomed new Las Vegas Raiders quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo by offering him “free sex for life”. The Raiders, who recently traded All-Pro Darren Waller, happen to need tight ends for Garoppolo.

A 53-year-old man who cracked his own neck to avoid chiropractor bills claims doing so caused him to go blind. He’s concerned he’ll no longer be able to continue his job as a chiropractor.

The Writers Guild of America has proposed allowing artificial intelligence programs like ChatGPT to write scripts for movies and tv. Saying a computer program can’t possibly write jokes worse than the ones on ‘Lopez vs Lopez’.

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A woman who’d been held captive by a man for nearly a year fled to freedom when they stopped at a New Jersey gas station. The man was arrested and the woman is looking forward to ending her long nightmare of being stuck in New Jersey.

CNN’s Don Lemon returned to the news network after posting an online apology for saying GOP Presidential candidate Nikki Haley was “past her prime”. Donald Trump weighed in, saying for once, he agreed with Don Lemon.

New research finds the best treatment for low back pain is a combination of over-the-counter drugs like ibuprofen or naproxen taken along with presecription muscle relaxers. The second-best is getting drunk in a recliner.

A woman who left the UK as a teen to join ISIS lost her appeal to regain British citizenship. She was, however, elected Snack Mom for her local sleeper cell.

The Atlanta Hawks fired head coach Nate McMillan. According to NBA league rules, McMillan will be offered another head coaching job once a vacancy opens up.

Starbucks will launch Oleato beverages in the U.S. – coffee drinks containing a spoonful of olive oil. They’re expected to make your post-caffeine sprint to the restroom a little more comfortable.

The National Weather Service confirmed a tornado touched down in Mercer County, New Jersey, but left quickly because it was super-close to an exit.

Rapper Da Brat is pregnant at age 48. This is her first pregnancy; her wife has three Da Brats from a previous relationship.

GOP Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene sparked controversy by calling for a “national divorce”, with red states leaving the U.S. over “woke” policies and support for foreign wars. But for starters she’ll settle for a national affair with a tantric sex guy from her gym.

Iggy Azalea said she’s made “so much money” since joining OnlyFans in January. She said she shows her bare breasts and buttocks but not her vagina, and that the only time she lost subscribers is when she started rapping again.

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Pensacola Christian College in Florida canceled a concert by British a capella group The King’s Singers after discovering one of the members is gay, and The Dean’s Grindr Date.

A U.K. man filming Discovery Channel’s ‘Naked and Afraid’ was treated after burning his penis sleeping nude next to an open fire. He was also treated for roasted nuts.

McDonald’s introduced the Cardi B. & Offset Meal = the only fast-food combo that requires a prenup.

McDonald’s is also suing Popeye’s after they introduced the Offset Side Piece Meal.

Republican Nikki Haley officially announced a run for President in 2024, challenging Donald Trump. Trump said he wouldn’t support her candidacy, but ‘would’ do other stuff.

First Minister of Scotland Nicola Sturgeon resigned, citing the “brutality” of public life as a national leader – adding there’s no truth to the rumor of a military coup led by a Sturgeon General.

Taylor Schabusiness, a 25-year-old woman facing murder charges for decapitating her boyfriend, putting the head in a bucket with his severed penis, and shoving other body parts in a Crock Pot, attacked her lawyer during a hearing regarding her mental competency and trial date. “I need to see more evidence” said the judge.

Scientists claim they can “switch off” autism symptoms in mice by giving them a $3 pill used to treat epilepsy. Results were delayed by challenges finding mice on the autism spectrum who could come up with the three bucks.

An inmate tried to escape a Bolivian prison by disguising himself as a sheep. He was apprehended after guards were alerted by a different inmate dressed as a wolf.

Porn actress Angela White was reportedly hospitalized after her appendix burst while filming a sex scene with male partner Keiran Lee. Both the director and the emergency room surgeon yelled “cut!”.

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Bills safety Damar Hamlin was released from a Cincinnati hospital and returned to Buffalo – marking one of the first times a trip to Buffalo in January is considered an upgrade.

Philadelphia’s Chinatown residents and business owners formed a coalition opposed to the Philadelphia 76ers building a new downtown arena, saying it would cause gridlock. They were joined in their opposition to gridlock by hundreds of the city’s carjackers.

Instagram is redesigning their home page. The new, simpler navigation will be split between ‘Tits’ and ‘Other Things’.

Passengers were stuck on an Amtrak train for over 24 hours in South Carolina. In a statement, Southwest Airlines denied reports it had acquired Amtrak.

A Norfolk, Massachusetts man spent $450 on cleaning supplies at Home Depot following the disappearance of his wife. The man denies any involvement, and just wants his wife to come home and get her birthday presents.

Classified government documents were found in a locked closet at the Penn Biden Center, a joint venture think tank between the University of Pennsylvania and President Biden. Far fewer documents were found there than at Donald Trump’s joint venture think tank, the McDonaldland Mar a Lago Center.

Lynette Hardaway, an African-American Trump supporter who, along with her sister Rochelle Richardson, formed conservative duo ‘Diamond & Silk’, passed away. In other news, ‘Blacks For Trump’ announced a name change to ‘A Black For Trump’.

The Federal Aviation Administration grounded all U.S. flights after a computer outage. Things were up & running again after they spent two hours in the tech support queue at Comcast Business Internet.

Pepsi is replacing lemon-lime soda brand Sierra Mist with Starry. They said it sort of rhymes with ‘sorry’, as in “Sorry, we don’t have Sprite, we have Starry”.

New York City nurses are on strike. Greyhound, Bolt Bus and Megabus are all offering express service to Philadelphia & Chicago, cities better equipped to deal with gunshot wounds.

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Elon Musk said he would abide by the results of a Twitter poll asking if he should remain CEO, then users voted overwhelmingly that he should step down. Musk then posted another poll asking if he should resign in 2030 or 2040.

Donald Trump then posted a poll on Truth Social asking if he’d be a better President than Ron Desantis, lost, then said the poll was rigged.

Dozens were injured when a Hawaiian Airlines flight from Phoenix to Honolulu encountered severe turbulence. Passengers on board reported seeing the injured lei’ing in the aisles.

A woman learned her father wasn’t her biological dad during a family argument, marking the first time the “I wish you weren’t my father!” line has ever paid off.

In a new survey, 14% of China’s residents said they’ll never travel again. In related news, China jailed government officials for somehow letting 14% of residents take trips.

Iran’s Hadi Choopan won the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding champion. Iranian competitors in Ms. Olympia didn’t fare as well, since judges couldn’t see the muscles under the burqas.

A man was shot and killed in a New Jersey nature preserve. Police are treating it as a murder, but are concerned that deer have finally gotten their own guns.

Father Frank Pavone, a pro-life supporter of ex-President Donald Trump, was dismissed from the Catholic priesthood for ‘blasphemous’ social media posts and disobedience to bishops. Pope Francis said it felt good to fire a priest for something other than molesting kids.

Kris Jenner was asked how she feels about having grandchildren born out of wedlock. She said she’s fine with the ones who have profitable social media accounts.

Salma Hayek said her lap dance scene with Channing Tatum in ‘Magic Mike’s Last Dance’ was “physically challenging”. Hayek, 56, said it was difficult to maneuver in Tatum’s lap without cameras seeing her cane.