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A New Jersey worker at Olive Garden was confirmed to have hepatitis A. For a limited time, diners can pay one price for unlimited soup, salad, breadsticks and liver damage.

  • He was diagnosed after a recent shift, and will not be allowed to return to work until cleared by a medical professional, or until another line cook quits.

People are paying up to $12,000 to have their eye color changed. Others are going blind and suing the makers of Just For Men and L’Oreal eye color kits.

A Florida school district removed dictionaries to review them for content describing sexual conduct. Mississippi school districts removed them following complaints from students that they couldn’t follow the story.

Popeyes is offering free wings if the Eagles, Ravens, or Buffalo win the Super Bowl. If the Dolphins win, StarKist will stop putting them in tuna cans.

eBay was fined $3 million after employees sent live spiders and cockroaches to harass a couple who criticized the company. eBay is also being sued by customers who say they never received the spiders and cockroaches they purchased.

Disney’s Pixar animation studio will reportedly undergo significant layoffs in 2024. What goes ‘Up’ must come ‘Down’.

Former ‘Good Morning America’ host TJ Holmes said he’d down up to 18 drinks a day after he was fired for an affair with co-host Amy Robach – expanding a good morning to a good afternoon & evening, as well.

Flight attendants revealed a code word for difficult passengers, ‘Philip’. It originated from PILP, ‘Passenger I’d Like to Punch. On Spirit Airlines, alpha passengers are called AFCs, for Airborne Fight Club Champions.

A University of Colorado study finds cannabis can motivate users to exercise. That’s if you count running to the door to get the pizza as a workout. [h/t to J.O.!]

Hertz Rental Car is selling 20,000 electric vehicles. Hertz claims the electrics are expensive to repair, and that only about 20% of customers renting them pay the extra fee for a full tank of gas.

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Disney Parks announced the reopening of Typhoon Lagoon, a water park that’s been closed for two years. The current wait time for a water slide is two years.

A middle-aged man participating in the Coney Island Polar Plunge on New Years Day suffered a heart attack and had to be dragged from the ocean, where he was given CPR and left in an ambulance. Onlookers called it “the least-sexy Baywatch episode ever”.

Scientists are worried about the spread of COVID-19 from humans to deer, who are contracting it from close contact with the front bumpers of cars.

Congressman Marjorie Taylor Greene’s personal Twitter account was permanently suspended after posting lies about deaths from COVID vaccines. She’s allowed to keep her professional account, because lies from Congress are considered standard.

The January 6th Committee has “firsthand” knowledge of Donald Trump watching the riots on tv and doing nothing – specifically, a recorded call from Trump to Xfinity customer service because Fox News had briefly gone off-air.

Ghislaine Maxwell has reportedly been placed on “suicide watch”. Following the death of Jeffrey Epstein, prison officials increased the detail from two guards to four who won’t do anything about it.

An Australian man protesting the country’s vaccine mandates set himself on fire. He was rescued and listed in critical but stable condition at a nearby hospital, where he added he also was protesting the high price of the gasoline he used.

Police in Amsterdam used riot gear and attack dogs to disperse a crowd gathered to protest public gatherings. Video shows a German Shepherd locking on a protester’s arm, then later locking down on his handler’s arm after he tried to swab the dog’s nose for COVID.

Actress Betty White passed away at age 99. Televised celebrations of her 100th birthday will still go ahead as planned, with other nonagenarian actresses led by Angela Lansbury taking 20 minutes to blow out all the birthday candles.

Inmates at the prison which once housed Bill Cosby still call him several times a week. Most are seeking guidance, others are looking for drink-mixing advice to welcome their new cellmate.

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Applebee’s reduced its menu by 60% during the pandemic, but plans to keep it that way from now on. Applebee’s calls their new menu the Cliff Notes for the 410-page Cheesecake Factory menu.

Subway franchisees claim the chain’s new Fresh Melt melted-cheese sandwiches are too dangerous to make – that employees risk burns, and toasters are ruined. They’re less concerned about customers, saying if they eat at Subway, they already know the risks.

The NCAA is considering a plan allowing student athletes to make money off their name & likeness. Hearing this, a Division III field hockey player bought a Ferrari.

A ransomware attack shut down Colonial Pipeline, which supplies almost half the fuel to the East coast. The cyberattackers gave Colonial the choice of paying the ransom in Bitcoin, or convenience store gift cards.

A bride in India walked out on an arranged wedding when her husband-to-be could not recite the multiplication table of two correctly. The math challenge results came as a shock because he aced the spelling challenge preceding it.

Florida is experiencing a massive surge in COVID variants. Three nurses died attempting to vaccinate alligators.

Amanda Fletcher, a New York city private high school Spanish teacher, was recorded sucking a man’s nipple during a Zoom class – an incident described by her C students as hot, and by her A students as ‘muy caliente’.

Kentucky Derby winning horse Medina Spirit tested positive for steroids. The horse now risks suspension from Saturday’s Preakness Stakes, and Sunday’s Mr. Maryland Bodybuilding Championship.

Donald Trump called Medina Spirit a ‘junky’ , adding the horse’s drug use was indicative of the USA’s other problems, including immigration and election fraud. Medina Spirit clapped = or, clomped – back, saying he’s not a drug abuser, and that he only cast one vote for Joe Biden.

A four-year-old hacked his mother’s Amazon Prime account and ordered 51 boxes of SpongeBob Squarepants popsicles. She also blames the child for a vibrator order, which he denies.

Tinder warned potential ‘catfishers’ not to pose as Bill Gates to trick unsuspecting women. Tinder says they have ‘serious tools’ to ensure fake Gates accounts are removed – including comparison against an authenticated photo of Bill Gates’ penis.