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Tinder’s first female CEO was fired after less than a year on the job. Male shareholders complained she looked nothing like her profile picture.

Albany, NY news anchor Heather Kovar, who was suspended for slurred, rambling speech during a live broadcast, confirmed she has left her job. She thanked all the great people at Eyewishes Noosh.

Some craft breweries are shutting down because of a national carbon dioxide shortage. Others are shutting down because brewers are trying carbon monoxide instead and dying.

The NFL is appealing Deshaun Watson’s six game suspension. They’re asking to make it longer, which, coincidentally, is what Watson is accused of doing with massage therapists.

A boat on Disney World’s ‘It’s A Small World’ attraction sank, leaving guests stranded for an hour. Some waited to be rescued, others chose to drown so they didn’t have to hear the song anymore.

Walmart announced layoffs of corporate employees in their e-commerce and health & wellness divisions, saying their customers don’t know what those things are anyway.

Georgia residents can now claim unborn children as dependents when filing taxes. Single women are asking boyfriends for tax returns to see how many dependents they created with other women.

A New York Times article assessing Kansas’ rejection of an abortion ban asserts that 4 out of 5 states would vote similarly to protect abortion rights. The 5th state is Mississippi, whose voters would first need education about where babies come from.

Batgirl star Leslie Grace spoke out for the first time since DC/Warner Brothers cancelled the release of the film to HBO Max. She said things were going well, then POW! … ZAP! .. SPLAT!… they weren’t.

A Florida man & woman were arrested for filming sex acts with a dog. Police would not disclose the nature of the acts, but the woman is receiving treatment for a Pupperoni infection.

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Philadelphia-area Planet Fitness locations reopened on Monday.  Officials say if a COVID-19 case is traced to one of their gyms, they’ll close. However, if heart attacks are traced back to one, they’ll probably stay open.

Warner Brothers delayed the release of Christopher Nolan’s ‘Tenet’ once again. The film was expected to premiere in theaters on August 12th, but will likely not be screened for several months – or about as long as Christopher Nolan movie feels like.

KFC is partnering with a Russian company to develop lab grown materials to make 3D-printed chicken nuggets. If it’s succcessful, they’ll move up and print full-size chickens without heads.

Mike Tyson will fight a great white shark as part of Discovery Networks Shark Week. Tyson said his motivation is revenge for the two staffers killed trying to put trunks on the shark.

On Thursday, in honor of National Wine & Cheese Day, a three-liter box of rosé wine paired with a jumbo box of Cheez-Its goes on sale for $29.99.  They say purchasers can expect the combo to result in the palest of pink vomit.

Insiders say Kanye West’s behavior – including controversial statements about Harriet Tubman, abortion, and the Kardashian family – may result in the divorce from Kim that everyone expected six years ago.

Google Maps released a new feature, location data for the nearest place to rent a bicycle. Once you rent the bike, Maps enters 9-1-1 so you just hit ‘Send’ once you get hit by a car.

The CDC added mouth lesions to its list of suspected coronavirus symptoms, which now includes “everything”.

Researchers developed a material called ‘Proteus’, the world’s first non-cuttable material, to be used in bike locks and indestructible armor. It’s made with ceramic spheres encased in cellular aluminum, and inspired by the sirloin special at Texas Roadhouse.

Instagram will let users conduct their own fundraisers. The feature comes after studying hundreds of thousands of comments reading “how much $ to see your boobs?”

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A Washington state man was charged in connection with a murder-for-hire plot where he contracted to have his wife killed, but the killer murdered her sister by mistake. He’s charged with conspiracy, and illegally demanding a buy-one-get-one-free murder.

An American Airlines flight attendant spilled a tray of drinks on the company’s CEO Doug Parker. Parker then asked if he could have a full can of soda and she said no.

An 80-year-old New York City man was arrested for the 1973 murder of two women in Virginia Beach. At his arraignment, he said he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling teenage relatives sending DNA to Ancestry.com.

Lori Loughlin now faces money laundering charges in the college admission scandal. A judge spent 20 minutes telling her that the charge was for sending money to a fake offshore charity, and not like the time D.J. put her wallet in the washing machine.

A social media columnist has coined the phrase “cloaking” – a form of “ghosting” where you not only stand up your date, but also block them on every social media and dating app. In other words, it’s how you treat your parents, except for the date part.

A Quebec family returning from a road trip to Florida kept driving to Canada after their 87-year-old patriarch died in the car, to avoid U.S. health care costs. They were pleased with the savings, but angry at being pulled over six times after tying him to the roof.

Uber introduced Uber Vouchers, where participating hotels, restaurants and clubs can place credits in customer’s Uber accounts to help pay for their rides and harrowing assaults.

A burglar broke into Atlanta Braves outfielder Nick Markakis’ Atlanta home last month while he was away, stealing five guns and $20,000 cash. Markakis said he meant to bring at least one of the guns with him to carry while he played right field in Philadelphia.

Walmart is expanding its use of in-store robots for cleaning and inventory, saying they want human workers to spend time interacting with customers. Walmart also said they’re updating the robots software so they’ll steal fewer Xboxes.

Warner Brothers ordered the Trump 2020 campaign to stop using music and fonts from 2013 Batman movie ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ in their promo materials. However, they said Trump can use the Bane mask when he talks so it’ll be harder to understand him.