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Jim Carrey condemned the standing ovation given to Will Smith as he accepted his Best Actor Oscar. Insiders predict Carrey’s outspoken stance will almost certainly cost him an Oscar nomination for his role as Dr. Robotnik in Sonic The Hedgehog 2.

Bassist Nikki Sixx said Motley Crue – whose Stadium Tour starts in 10 weeks – haven’t rehearsed together in nine years. He added that lead singer Vince Neil hasn’t sung every word of a song in 30 years.

A former Yale University employee sold $40 million worth of electronics and kept the money, buying luxury cars, real estate, travel, and tuition at University of Phoenix.

Dyson unveiled the ‘Dyson Zone’, headphones with a built-in air purifier for your nose and mouth. It’s for people who like to listen to e*books or music when they use the bathroom at Indian restaurants.

The World Health Organization is investigating hearing problems linked to COVID vaccines. But since COVID already knocked out victims’ taste & smell, they’re less concerned about not hearing farts.

A new study links avocado consumption to a lower risk of heart disease, but researchers warn that it’s still a bad idea to put guacamole on french fries.

Use of disinfectants by pregnant women may increase the risk that their children have eczema or asthma. Pregnant women are advised to douche with something other than Lysol.

Intelligence officials say the North Korean ICBM launch last week was staged – using an older rocket, not new technology. They made the determination after studying the rocket in the propaganda film and seeing a New Kids On The Block sticker on it.

Experts say Russian claims of withdrawal from major Ukrainian cities are false. Their opinions are echoed by Russian hookers, who say they, too, have been misled by Vladimir Putin saying he’ll pull out.

Brooklyn traffic cop Ranjeet Singh is being praised for viral video showing him dancing like Michael Jackson while working busy intersections. Although parents tell their kids to walk a block up the street so they don’t cross near him.

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The Bidens adopted a two-year-old cat, Willow. It’s the first pussy in the White House in five years that hasn’t had to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

A bridge in a Pittsburgh park collapsed just prior to a visit from President Biden to discuss repairs to infrastructure. Joe Manchin & Kirsten Sinema aren’t sure the bridge needs fixing.

Two Philadelphia 76ers fans were ejected frrom the team’s game against the Los Angeles Lakers for repeatedly yelling the taunt “boy” at Lakers Carmelo Anthony. They’ll be entered into a diversion program and taught to throw batteries.

A couple was arrested and charged with using fake vaccine cards to attend the Buffalo Bills home playoff game against the New England Patriots. It’s the first time that someone faked credentials in order to contract frostbite.

Minnie Mouse is trading in her dress for a Stella McCartney pantsuit. “I’ve been asking for pants for almost a hundred f**kin’ years!” said a furious Donald Duck.

A study suggests four factors influence the likelihood someone will have long-term effects of COVID-19, including viral load, diabetes, existing antibodies, and failure to follow through on doing their own research.

Apple announced it has over 1.8 billion active devices, and about 11 billion in drawers with broken screens.

Octomom’s eight children turned 13, and each received a fire extinguisher to put out 104 birthday candles.

Investment website Robinhood reported disastrous earnings and an erosion of its user base. It plans to correct the course by robbing rich customers and giving the money to itself.

Pennsylvania’s state-owned liquor authority opened a free lottery where winners can buy rare Pappy van Winkle whiskeys for prices of $299-$399 per bottle. They’ll also continue to sell regular $10/bottle whiskey that makes regular people feel like they just won a lottery.

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The U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service declared the ivory-billed woodpecker officially extinct. 22 other lesser-known species were also named extinct, but nobody cares because they never got their own cartoon.

Former ‘Even Stevens’ star Christy Carlson Romano said she blew much of her Disney Channel earnings on psychic readings and crystals. Though she remains conflicted, since her psychic predicted she’d be really bad with money.

President Biden cancelled a trip to Chicago, saying he’ll remain in Washington to see his economic agenda get murdered, instead.

Lava continued to erupt from Spain’s La Palma volcano, flowing into the sea and releasing toxic gas – more lethal than a Monday morning after Sunday night three-bean paella suppers.

600 United Airlines employees face termination for defying the company’s vaccine mandate. The company is asking for their attention while they’re directed to the front & rear exits of Human Resources.

Starbucks, Panera & Dunkin are offering free coffee on National Coffee Day – but they’re each charging $5 to use the restroom.

37% of people infected with COVID-19 show symptoms six months later, according to the phone calls they make to their jobs asking for Friday off.

An Illinois man died of rabies from a bat bite. His family started a GoFundMe to buy him a black cape and a coffin he can sleep in during daytime.

‘No Time To Die‘ premieres after a long delay. It shows a busy James Bond getting vaccinated in the middle of a fistfight with unmasked bad guys.

MTV is planning a new ‘Teen Mom‘ spinoff featuring show alum & porn star Farrah Abraham, titled ‘Adult Skank‘.