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A JetBlue pilot with a blood-alcohol level four times the legal limit was removed from the cockpit of a flight departing Buffalo, NY. He was later fired and stripped of his Buffalo wings.

Melinda French Gates, ex-wife of Bill Gates, opened up about her divorce in an interview with CBS, saying “I couldn’t trust what we had” adding “except, you know, for the billions and billions of dollars”..

‘Miss Teen Washington’ winner Kate Wilson, 17, faced calls to step down after an old Tik Tok video emerged showing her using the n-word. No word on her decision, but she may just switch to Miss Teen Alabama.

An Argentinian teenager was electrocuted after leaving the family dinner table to charge his phone. Unlike the teen, his meal got cold.

The January 6th Committee assert Donald Trump and his lawyer collaborated in a criminal conspiracy to overturn the 2020 Presidential Election. The Committee said they’ll be adding this criminal charge to the pile.

Some Russian oligarchs are speaking out cautiously against the war in Ukraine; specifically, the ones with no plans to see President Putin anytime soon.

Kim Kardashian was declared legally single, after a California judge issued a first-of-its-kind divorce decree on Instagram.

Premature menopause is linked to dementia risk. While that is cause for concern, these women can worry less about forgetting to take birth control.

A Wisconsin woman choked her lover to death during sex and then dismembered him, putting his head and genitals in a bucket and his legs in a Crock Pot. She forfeited her entry in her church’s upcoming chili cookoff.

Wheel Of Fortune host Pat Sajak took to Twitter to defend three contestants whose inability to solve a near-complete puzzle ‘ANOTHER FEATHER _N YO_R _A_’ captivated social media. Sajak cited the pressure of the game, and that he tipped his lap to their courage.

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Elon Musk confirmed that some monkeys died while testing his Neuralink brain-implant chips. Although the monkey’s surviving mates believe they were murdered because the chips made them smarter than Elon Musk.

Joe Biden is expected to nominate Ketanji Brown Jackson as the first black woman Supreme Court justice. Jackson, in turn, is expected to nominate Biden as the first old white dude at her cookout.

Dancing With The Stars professional Cheryl Burke filed for divorce from husband Matthew Lawrence, citing irreconcilable differences, and the two being out-of-step.

Aaron Rodgers was seen with Shailene Woodley. Though no longer engaged, the two remain Friends With Huddles.

India banned 54 Chinese smartphone apps over security concerns, including TikTok. Indian officials say if citizens want to watch housewives sing and dance, they can watch Bollywood movies.

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle say they stand with the people of Ukraine…in the backyard of their California mansion.

John Mayer tested positive for COVID-19. Several groupies have bodies that are a wonderland, but can’t taste or smell.

New strains of bird flu have been detected in the U.S., reinforcing the misguided beliefs of Southern U.S. COVID deniers who say vaccines & masks are “for the birds”.

Hank The Tank, a 500-pound black bear blamed for dozens of home break-ins in the California mountains, may not be at fault based on DNA evidence collected by wildlife officials, and by raccoons who have been granted immunity for their testimony.

The View’s Joy Behar said on the show she’s worried the Russian invasion of Ukraine might impact her Italian vacation. Whoopi Goldberg then tagged Behar on her way out of suspension, as Behar tags in.

Sharon Osbourne, who was fired from her own daytime show, The Talk, said she would never go back because producing network CBS “sucks big-time d**k”. She was accompanied by husband Ozzy, who’s now interested in CBS.

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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl LV. Bucs Head Coach Bruce Arians awaited a call from President Joe Biden, then was told the game ended three hours past his bedtime.

Biden spent the weekend in Delaware in the middle of winter, leading to renewed concerns over his diminished mental capacity.

The Buccaneers offensive and defensive coordinators – Byron Leftwich and Todd Bowles – are both black. The Super Bowl win is expected to raise their profiles as candidates for NFL head coaching jobs they won’t get.

A 26-year-old Michigan man died from shrapnel injuries when a cannon fired at a baby shower exploded. Fortunately, the baby landed safely in a net across the yard.

An Idaho woman won $300,000 and $200,000 scratch-off lottery prizes on consecutive days. She said she’s planning a trip to Las Vegas, so the odds can catch up with her there.

NYC domestic violence police officer Valerie Cincinelli was charged with hiring a hit man to kill her ex-husband, and paying him with gold coins. Her life story will be made into the upcoming film ‘John Wick 4: Special Victims Unit’. [story h/t Jim H. ! ]

Country singer Morgan Wallen’s music sales have soared after he was caught on video using the N-word. In response, Toby Keith released video of himself using the same word casually for the last twenty years.

The United Arab Emirates spacecraft Hope is expected to reach Mars orbit after a 300-million mile journey. Hope will analyze Mars surface, then leave as soon as it figures out there’s no oil there.

Tessica Brown created a viral Tik Tok video saying she’d used Gorilla Glue spray adhesive on her hair, and that it’s been stuck there for a month, causing headaches. Gorilla Glue then issued a warning to women, and a coupon to male toupee wearers.

New York City middle schools will reopen to students for the first time in months. Area boxing gyms are offering crash courses to help schoolyard bullies quickly get back in to shape.

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Brad Pitt, 56, is reportedly dating 27-year-old Nicole Poturalski. She’s married to 68-year-old restaurant owner Roland Mary, but they supposedly have an ‘open’ relationship. So, Roland Mary should be open to getting dumped.

Researchers find that people could get help losing weight if they eat their own fecal microbiome. Or, if they want to eat others’ fecal microbiome and not lose weight, they can stick with Chipotle.

The Jacksonville Jaguars surprisingly cut starting running back Leonard Fournette. Fournette was last seen happily rushing for several thousand yards out of Jacksonville.

American Bryan Piccioli leads all competitors in the World Series of Poker, which is taking place online for the first time. Piccioli credits being able to stay relaxed by watching porn at the same time.

French tennis player Benoit Paire tested positive for COVID-19 ‘inside the bubble’ at the U.S. Open. He’s been called “out”.

A 3-year-old Taiwanese girl was caught in a giant kite during a kite-flying festival, sending her high into the air. The girl landed safely with two arms, two legs and a new tail.

A TikTok user shared video showing a McDonald’s hamburger and fries stored in her closet for 25 years. The food hadn’t decomposed, but her grandkids still refuse to have lunch at her house.

Katy Perry shared an unfiltered postpartum selfie wearing a breast-pumping bra and disposable underwear. Baby daddy Orlando Bloom saw it and filed for divorce, but then remembered they’re not married yet.

Google Maps is testing showing traffic lights on streets. Drivers are looking forward to staring at their phone to see if the light turned green.

A new study found hotel elevator buttons have 700 times more germs than a household toilet seat – and about 10,000 times fewer germs than the underside of a household toilet seat.