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A 2024 Penn State research study finds people presented with larger snack sizes leads to faster eating and bigger bites. A 1960s research study found the same thing and that’s where thousands of U.S. companies creating the obesity epidemic came from.

A high seafood diet could lead to increased levels of PFAs, or dangerous “forever chemicals”. This, according to researchers, several of whom died drawing blood samples from sharks.

Tesla laid off over 14,000 workers, citing increased electric car competition, declining sales, and Elon Musk needing the estimated $1.4 billion in salaries he’s saving to build some crazy new contraption he scribbled on a bar napkin.

Convenience store chain Wawa celebrates its 60th Anniversary today. There’s free coffee, and regulars will parade around the building several times before stopping to eat their lunch next to a garbage can.

Elon Musk said the only way to stop bots on X is to charge new users to post. So far he’s getting a lot of questions from bots about paying in Rubles.

Protesters supporting Palestine sat in the middle of a busy downtown Philadelphia street to voice concerns over the war with Israel. The U.N. updated the Palestinian death toll with four people flattened by cars on a busy Philadelphia street.

Mutliple reporters claim Donald Trump fell asleep on Day 1 of his hush money trial during jury selection. Several tired prospective female jurors in the courtroom at the same time filed lawsuits alleging Trump slept with them.

A new analysis finds New Jersey residents pay an average of $987,000 in lifetime taxes. However, New Jersey residents who claim to be in the sanitation and commercial construction industries pay an average of zero.

Tom Cruise has reportedly given actor Dakota Fanning a birthday gift every year since they co-starred in 2005 thriller War Of The Worlds. Fanning said that, despite owning 19 copies, she still hasn’t read L Ron Hubbard’s ‘Dianetics‘.

Erin Ward, a 45-year-old married Omaha substitute teacher, was arrested for having sex in the back of a car with a 17-year-old student. The student was happy to have sex, but is kinda bummed he missed the movie the substitute teacher showed the rest of the class.

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X, formerly Twitter, is trialing Adult Content Communities. This comes on the heels of their success with Racist Communities, Election Denier Communities, and Failed Entertainer Communities.

A female DJ who claims she was shamed on a Delta Airlines flight for not wearing a bra hired a lawyer and is demanding a meeting with the CEO. The CEO declined the meeting, saying, her breasts aren’t big enough.

In anticipation of the full solar eclipse, Internet crooks are selling fake eclipse glasses. Experts warn that you can tell they’re fake because they charge extra for bifocals.

A Florida 10-year-old sold a handgun to a classmate for $300, then set a single day spending record at the Scholastic Book Fair.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard, released from prison after serving time for the murder of her abusive mother, separated from the husband she married while incarcerated, saying she felt trapped.

Dollar Tree announced the maximum price of items for sale in its stores will increase to $7. This is expected to create thousands of jobs for employees who can help customers count to 7.

Viral video shows a man diving out of the way of a spinning blade that detached from a concrete saw at a nearby construction site and traveled across a parking lot. Unfortunately, the old lady walking across the lot wasn’t as quick.

Oprah shared a video explaining why she turned to weight loss drugs. After a lot of hooey about personal struggles, it came down to two factors: 1) they work; 2) she’s a billionaire.

New York City formally approved a $15 congestion pricing toll for cars entering lower Manhattan. The law now requires the approval of carjackers to refund the $15 for the vehicles they steal.

Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner and new wife Theresa Nist are married, but reportedly living in separate states. They say the biggest challenge is neither of them knowing how to work Facetime for cybersex.

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A woman was arrested at an airport in Colombia for attempting to smuggle 130 poisonous dart frogs in her luggage. Worse, each of the frogs had swallowed several tiny balloons filled with cocaine.

Researchers believe they’ve found a link between ALS and smoking. They’re considering changing it from Lou Gehrig’s Disease to Joe Camel Disease.

Economists predict Valentine’s Day spending to top $14 billion – no thanks to your cheap boyfriend and his grocery store bouquet.

Two men drifting in the ocean after their boat sank were rescued by a passing Carnival Cruise ship – but only after the men asked if there was another, nicer, cruise ship coming along anytim soon.

Legendary singer/dancer/actress Chita Rivera died. She’s survived by her lesser-known sister, PlaysByTheRules Rivera.

National Geographic listed their 2024 Top Travel Destinations, including West Virginia. In other news, National Geographic’s Senior Travel Editor entered rehab for treatment of addiction to methamphetamine.

A 60-year-old woman was arrested after attacking a Frontier Airlines flight attendant who kept her from using the lavatory while the plane descended for landing in Philadelphia. Either way, sh*t was gonna go down.

UPS is cutting over 12,000 jobs, mostly middle management and contractors, but not whoever’s emailing to tell you your package shipped when they’ve only printed a label.

The maker of popular Stanley travel mugs say they contain lead, but are still safe, and that drinking from them will make you feel fuller, faster.

Elmo the Muppet posted on X to ask how everyone’s feeling, and many responded that they’re not doing great and may need help. Elmo sympathized, saying it hasn’t been easy living with a guy’s hand up his ass for over forty years.

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Blac Chyna said her breast implant reduction surgery caused side effects – as opposed to when they were inserted, which mostly caused front effects.

Blake Shelton was dragged by fans for giving a prerecorded New Year’s Eve television performance that was promoted as “live”. In it, Shelton is heard asking the crowd if they’re ready for 2019.

Elon Musk said that X will turn a profit in 2024 – despite a large-company advertising boycott – because of ad revenue from small & medium businesses. He defines X advertisers as “small” or “medium” based on their follower count and cup size.

Actor Ian Ziering was attacked by a gang of bikers on Hollywood Boulevard after one of them allegedly struck his car. Ziering was uninjured, and said he feels lucky to have survived this, and multiple Sharknados.

16-year-old Luke Littler became the youngest competitor to reach the semifinals of the World Darts Championship. Littler attributes his success to his age and inability to get as drunk as the other semifinalists.

Spirit Airlines announced the Philadelphia Airport gate agent who placed an unaccompanied 6-year-old on the wrong flight to Florida no longer has that job – saying the gate agent has been promoted to pilot.

Cherelle Parker was sworn in as the new Mayor of Philadelphia, one day before her official inauguration, and two days before her first formal investigation for bribery & corruption.

As many of 187 names are expected to be revealed as persons linked with Jeffrey Epstein once court documents are unsealed this week. And that’s not including the 1,000-plus names on the Epstein Island waiting list.

Harvard President Claudine Gay faces new calls to resign, after six more allegations of plagiarism were made against her. Gay has yet to comment while she waits for a guy to finish the letter he’s writing explaining why she should keep her job.

Historians are claiming 16th Century philospher Nostradamus correctly predicted a deadly earthquake that struck western Japan on New Year’s Day. However, his results were mixed, as he incorrectly called for Alabama to upset Michigan in the College Football Playoff.

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The CEO of cryptocurrency exchange Binance resigned after they were slapped with $4 billion in fines for money laundering and other illegal activities. They were also warned not to try paying the $4 billion with Dogecoin.

A mystery respiratory illness is spreading among dogs and baffling veterinarians. Vets are frantically contact-tracing to see if sick dogs sniffed the same infected butt.

Martha Stewart said she didn’t ‘cancel Thanksgiving’ after claiming she was “turkeyed out” on The Kelly Clarkson Show. Stewart stated she’s baking lemon tarts, cranberry tarts, chocolate pecan pies, pecan pies, pumpkin pies and a 20-pound bird. And boy, are her 30 assistants tired.

With Elon Musk allowing antisemitic and anti-Muslim comments on X, Paris Hilton’s media company pulled their advertising from the platform. But first, Paris asked her assistants to spell X just to make sure she was boycotting the right app.

American Airlines responded to viral video of a passenger’s wheelchair crashing on to the Miami International Airport tarmac as baggage handlers looked on. American assured everyone their baggage workers were far more careful handling the paraplegic who also flew to Miami in the cargo hold.

A woman flying from Florida to Philadelphia aboard Frontier Airlines pulled down her pants and threatened to urinate in the aisle because a flight attendant wouldn’t allow her to use the restroom. Since the woman wouldn’t pay Frontier Airlines $29, she had to wait and use the bucket like everyone else.

Susan Sarandon was dropped by her talent agency for remarks she made at a pro-Palensinian rally. Producers now have to recast and scrap two weeks of filming on Bad Moms Hanukkah.

Oprah Winfrey’s bestie Gayle King revealed on The Drew Barrymore Show that King’s former friend was secretly collecting $50,000 to set up meetings with her. She discovered it when the friend spilled her purse and King saw a $50,000 check from Drew Barrymore.

Daryl Hall is suing John Oates in a contract debt-related filing. Hall claims Oates is a little short.

Thousands of blue rubber balls washed up on a British beach were determined to come from a nearby power plant where they’re used to clean pipes. British men with blue balls on the beach fantasized about someone cleaning their pipes.

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The Rolling Stones announced a 16-city 2024 U.S. tour, sponsored by AARP. Representatives from AARP will be on hand to scold retirees about blowing $500 from their 401k on Rolling Stones tickets.

As rescue workers attempt to dig out 41 construction workers trapped in a tunnel collapse in India, hot meals of rice & lentils were delivered to them via a steel pipe. The Grubhub guy received no tip.

Before a school board reversed his decision, a Sherman, Texas high school principal left voicemails informing parents that transgender students could not perform roles in Oklahoma! aligned with their gender identity. He also said he’s not changing the title of the next production to The Music Person.

Celebrity & game show host Wayne Brady fought with a drunk driver who backed in to his car, then attempted to flee as officers arrived. The man was arrested, and Brady may appear to host his court hearing – Let’s Make A Plea Deal.

A man attempted to kidnap and kill his estranged wife at a suburban Philadelphia Walmart. Workers at the store thought it was a dress rehearsal for customers attempting to murder each other on Black Friday.

Six major media companies including Disney, NBCUniversal & Paramount halted spending on X after Elon Musk boosted antisemitic conspiracy theories. They’re shifting spending to Truth Social and its more pro-American conspiracy theories.

Best Buy, Lowes & Kohl’s are all forecasting a drop in annual holiday sales. However, liquor stores & OnlyFans say they’ll more than make up for the hit to the economy.

Kalpana Balan, a 26-year-old Indian woman, established a Guinness World Record for having 38 teeth – six more than the average human. She also broke a different record by flossing out a quarter pound of a burrito stuck between them.

Only 23 percent of women on dating app Bumble are actively seeking marriage as a goal. Relationship experts say this is great news for empowered, independent women – but also great news for hit-it-and-quit-it horny men.

A woman gave birth on a Pegasus Airlines jet just before departure on a flight from Istanbul to Marseilles. Paramedics boarded to assist in the delivery, then gently placed the baby under the seat in front of the mother, because overhead bins were full.

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A mother of 8 was sentenced to prison for her role in the January 6th riots. She told her family before she was taken into custody that four years of dinners are in the fifty freezers she bought.

Miami fourth graders were ‘distraught’ and a mental health counselor was hired after R-rated slasher film Winnie the Pooh: Blood & Honey was shown to them during class. “Hey, still beats multiplication tables” said several of the not-that-traumatized kids.

X, formerly Twitter, is charging $1 to new users in Philippines & New Zealand. Not to be outdone, Facebook is charging $5 to users in those countries to uninstall it.

In a text exchange with Elon Musk, Kanye West said he has autism symptoms from a car accident. This isn’t medically possible, but nevertheless, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration recalled all Rolls Royce Spectrum models.

A Great Dane named Meadow delivered a record litter of 15 puppies at a North Carolina animal shelter. Three area hounds were swabbed for saliva before a one-of-a-kind special episode of Maury to see who is the father.

Trump ally Sidney Powell entered a surprise guilty plea in the Georgia election interference case and is expected to testify for the prosecution. Powell said it was either that, or be represented by Rudy Giuliani.

ABC’s Good Morning America will vacate its current studio and relocate to a new headquarters building constructed by parent company Disney. Instead of Times Square, the show will now be broadcast from Space Mountain.

Jada Pinkett Smith said she built a space where she could have romantic encounters when her children were little. She called it a sex room with Will Smith, and an Entanglements Room with other visitors.

A woman broke her finger attempting to catch a home run at the Philadelphia Phillies playoff game. Her boyfriend broke his finger when she sat back down.

In a new autobiography, Britney Spears claims Adderall to be her drug of choice in the mid-00s. She said the drug gave her a high, made her feel less depressed , and allowed her to really focus on finding good cheeseburgers.

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TSA agents at Philadelphia International Airport stopped a flight attendant from clearing security with a loaded handgun. Then they fired the gun to subdue an elderly woman attempting to pass security with 5 ounces of tea.

Philadelphia International Airport opened its first-ever gym – where area travelers waiting for their flight can hang their jackets and park their luggage.

Donald Trump’s personal secretary Molly Michael told investigators he routinely used classified documents as scrap paper to write her notes. Special Counsel Jack Smith found a draft of a nuclear treaty with Iran with “what color s your underware?” on it.

Following intense criticism from actors and writers, Drew Barrymore reversed her decision to restart The Drew Barrymore Show. In its place, executive producers have ordered a full season of Navage nasal irrigation system infomercials.

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene criticized Senator John Fetterman for his choice of clothing during legislative sessions. Rep. Lauren Boebert offered to help him change his pants.

Walt Disney World was partially closed after a bear was sighted in a tree on park property. Wildlife officials were called in to capture and move the bear, but only after they were sure it wasn’t going to sing a song about bear necessities.

Elon Musk indicated he plans to charge all users a fee for X (formerly Twitter) – effectively turning millions of X users into Ex Users.

Phil Mickelson posted a thread on X detailing his addiction to gambling. Mickelson received many messages of support, including from Tiger Woods who offered his help getting Mickelson addicted to sex, instead.

Google announced a major expansion of its Bard artificial intelligence platform. Although, Bard artificial intelligence actually expanded itself but Google is too terrified to let anyone know it.

Scott Burke, a retired surgeon, was arrested after his yacht was seized amidst reports of parties with dozens of sex workers filming pornographic movies. Investigators also found 43 grams of cocaine and other party drugs. The boat, its contents and occupants will now be used by the Make A Wish Foundation.

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A Southern California school district will pay $2.25 million to a male student who impregnated his teacher when he was 14, settling his sexual abuse claim. He’s unsure whether he’ll use the money for college, or to buy a house so his teacher can move in after she’s paroled.

Fugitive murderer Danelo Cavalcante has been on the run in the Philadelphia suburbs for two weeks, and reportedly stole a white van with a refrigeration unit. Neighborhood kids are warned not to approach the unmarked ice cream truck playing ‘La Bamba‘ and the ‘Narcos‘ theme.

Eric Trump & Donald Trump Jr. are holding a fundraising dinner at Mar-a-Lago to help pay the legal bills of his co-conspirators in the Georgia election fraud case. It was to be held at Golden Corral, but Eric & Don Jr were banned for repeatedly sticking their hands in the chocolate fountain.

Elon Musk took to X to say his brain implant company, Neuralink, has never caused the death of a monkey with a chip in its brain, saying they only chose terminally ill monkeys. However, he won’t say what the terminal monkeys were instructed to do, or why they were given guns and plane tickets to Ukraine.

An alleged shooter in a Northeast Philadelphia bar fight fled the scene, but then returned there to surrender. And close out his tab. And get one last $3 well drink.

A shooting at a Vineland, New Jersey hospital was determined to be self-inflicted. The resident doctor said he needed the practice for dealing with bullet wounds.

Jelly-maker Smuckers is acquiring Twinkie-maker Hostess for $5.6 billion, in an aggressive attempt to steal market share in the Empty Calories category.

Google is raising subscription prices for its Nest video security products – making it 33% more expensive to determine whose dog is pooping on your lawn.

A British mother is furious that her daughters’ school policy against branded apparel means they can’t wear their Vivienne Westwood shoes. She’s also furious that they have to walk a half-mile from the helipad where they’re dropped off in the morning.

The ‘Halloween‘ house where Jamie Lee Curtis’ Laurie Strode character lived is up for sale in Los Angeles. The realtor says stabbings are no longer a problem, but that the property has been upgraded with bars and bulletproof windows.

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McDonald’s reported strong second-quarter earnings thanks to its Grimace’s Birthday promotion and limited-time Grimace Shake. They’re hoping for similar positive results with the upcoming Hamburglar Granted Parole promotion.

NASA’s new space telescope, scheduled for launch in 2027, could spot up to 400 planets similar in size to Earth – and, in-between, allow NASA incel employees to look through bedroom windows in their neighborhoods.

A raccoon was spotted on a baggage carousel at Philadelphia International Airport. The raccoon appeared confused because he’d checked in on a Frontier flight from Orlando to Newark.

It was revealed that Mitch McConnell has fallen multiple times this year, and may have suffered some cognitive impairment by striking his head after failing to inflate his neck pouch in time.

A lost city believed to have been abandoned over 1,000 years ago was discovered in the Campeche jungle of Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula – soon to be the location of Mexico’s newest Starbucks.

The rebranded Twitter, X, reportedly took over the @X handle without notifying or compensating its owner. Since @XX was already taken by a bootlegger and @XXX by a porn star, he was offered @XXXX.

Rudy Giuliani admitted in court that he knew the Georgia results of the 2020 Presidential Election were authentic and lied about it. He still insists black is his natural hair color.

Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce attempted to give Taylor Swift a bracelet with his phone number on it after her shows at Arrowhead Stadium, but was not allowed to meet her. Lil Nas X asked for the bracelet, but was similarly rejected.

Miami Dolphins wide receiver Tyreek Hill settled with an employee of a Miami marina, who he’d punched in the back of the head for refusing to allow him to board a boat. Other passengers were just happy to spot a dolphin before even leaving the dock.

More sex workers are coming forward claiming that they’d met alleged Gilgo Beach killer Rex Heuermann. The local sheriff said he’s taking private meetings with each of them to see if they really know what they’re doing.