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A woman outed as a stalker who allegedly inspired Netflix hit ‘Baby Reindeer’ is threatening legal action against producers. Given her stalking success, she’s also threatening illegal action.

Surgeons installed a mechanical heart pump and a genetically-modified pig kidney in a woman during the same procedure. She also wanted a breast augmentation but doctors told her to get her priorities straight.

A former McDonald’s chef said he can’t believe people order Big Mac meals because they’re more expensive than Quarter Pounder meals and provide less meat. Customers who just finished their Big Mac meals also aren’t thrilled with their decision.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard said that before marrying Ryan Anderson in prison, she dreamed about reuniting with her ex, Ken Urker. She’s now divorced and dating Urker, making this her second dream-come-true after murdering her mother.

The Affordable Connectivity Program – a federal government program providing cheap Internet access to thousands, may shut down. Comcast/Xfinity said they’ll step up and offer cheap Internet, but only if it’s bundled with overpriced TV.

Sleep experts documented cases of sexsomnia, where people demand sex or pleasure themselves while sleeping, but have no memory of it the next day. This is different than sexamnesia, where people have conscious sex but forget about it because it was so bad.

A Pennsylvania priest was arrested after spending $40,000 of church money on smartphone games like Candy Crush, Pokemon Go & Mario Kart. His lawyer said he needed a way to stay busy after the Diocese made him delete Grindr.

Tesla received approval for full self-driving vehicles in China, with the Chinese government conceding it can’t make things much worse.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce visited Las Vegas with Patrick and Brittany Mahomes. They enjoyed dinner and cocktails, then placed individual bets on which couple would break up first.

ChatGPT is being criticized for overwhelmingly depicting financiers & CEOs as men, and secretaries as women. Critics say the women should be called administrative assistants.

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Facebook announced it’s cracking down on personality quizzes, because Mark Zuckerberg keeps failing them.

Aides to former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie were sentenced to prison for their roles in ‘Bridgegate’ – shutting down lanes of the George Washington Bridge out of spite against Christie’s rivals. Christie claimed to have no part in shutting down bridge lanes, saying he was busy closing his arteries.

In a People magazine story, friends of Lori Loughlin say she’s concerned her role in the Operation Varsity Blues sting will ruin her reputation, presumably among those who have never seen her act.

An aggressive squirrel has reportedly attacked “at least” five people in Seattle’s Prospect Park. Meaning, five people are big enough pussies to admit being attacked by a squirrel, and others are proud enough to keep it to themselves. [h/t to J.L.]

A Florida man is lucky to be alive after cutting his hand with a fishing hook and contracting ‘necrotizing fasciitis’ – flesh-eating bacteria that almost caused him to lose his arm or kill him. Meanwhile, his family called the fish they ate for dinner as “not great”.

Emirati woman Munira Abdulla awoke after being in a coma since a car accident in 1991. Her first words after 27 years were “shave my legs”.

BuzzFeed shared an article listing the best times to take a 3-minute bathroom break during the 3-hour long Avengers: Endgame. They suggest “anytime” once you’ve downloaded a bootlegged copy and paused it.

A Pittsburgh-area woman with a restraining order against her abusive ex-boyfriend discovered that he’d been secretly living in her attic for weeks. She told police that she had suspicions, with clues including the toilet seat left up, missing blankets, and a really smelly attic.

North Korea billed the United States $2 million for the care of deceased political prisoner Otto Warmbier for the period he was comatose in a North Korean jail. And that’s just the copay.

The Internal Revenue Service has designated the Satanic Temple in Salem, Massachusetts as a tax-exempt church, so good luck getting Donald Trump to pay taxes on Mar-A-Lago.

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Leaked information reveals creators of popular children’s cartoon Bluey – about a family of Australian dogs – will not produce new episodes, and the show has crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

Tinder announced a new feature ‘Share My Date’ – which lets users give details about their dating plans to friends & family for safety. Although they advise just sharing names & locations, and not what you’re planning to do the first night you meet someone.

A British man ran a mile in a swimming pool in 35 minutes, 24 seconds, establishing an unoffiicial world record. He was then kicked off the high school swim team for delaying the meet by 35 minutes, 24 seconds.

Federal officials announced plans to update nutrition standards for public school meals — as school lunch ladies frantically try to use up their salisbury steaks before the government outlaws them.

Harvey Weinstein’s sexual assault conviction in New York was overturned by the state’s Supreme Court. Weinstein is now a free man for the duration of the flight to California, where his conviction there will allow him to die in a west coast prison.

Tiger Woods’ 15-year-old son Charlie will attempt to qualify for the U.S. Open. He’ll also try to follow in his father’s footsteps by qualifying for a tryst with a Perkins Pancake House hostess.

The makers of Scrabble introduced Scrabble Together – a new version of the game intended to reduce conflict and make gameplay more inclusive. Players can now arrange any letters they want on the board and declare that it identifies as a word.

Actress Rebel Wilson’s book ‘Rebel Rising’ was released, but UK versions redact abuse claims about actor Sacha Baron Cohen because they were allegedly proven false. Printing untruths is a crime in the UK, which is why it’s hard to find any of Donald Trump’s books there.

A Florida golden retriever gave birth to Shamrock, a puppy with lime green fur. The mother dog denies having an affair with a monitor lizard.

Jon Bon Jovi admits he “hasn’t been a saint” throughout his 34-year marriage to wife Dorothea – referencing affairs, and making her watch his acting auditions.

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A Philadelphia man was assaulted by dirt bikers & ATV riders as they tried to steal his scooter. Philadelphia notches the first recorded case of ScootJacking.

Dora The Explorer is getting a reboot on Paramount +, after Dora emerged from extensive counseling following her work with Nickelodeon’s Dan Schneider in the early 2000s.

Five military horses escaped and ran wild through the streets of central London, damaging cars and injuring pedestrians. Authorities pursued the horses through late afternoon, until the horses stopped for tea & scones.

Actress Christina Applegate said on her podcast that she’s been sick for three weeks with sapovirus – accidental ingestion of human fecal matter. Applegate announced she’s no longer a Brand Ambassador for Saladworks.

TikTok’s CEO vowed to fight a U.S. law requiring the Chinese government’s sale of the app within a year. The U.S. Government said if they can’t make them sell it, they’ll make them change the name to MySpace and everyone will just stop using it.

South Korea is considering a ban on the iPhone for use by their armed forces, because they deem it a security threat. This follows a move by North Korea, which has already banned paper cups atttached to strings for the same reason.

Motley Crue signed with record label Big Machine, with frontman Vince Neil saying “we don’t want to stagnate”. This Friday, they’ll release a new single, ‘Dogs Of War’, with Billboard projecting it could land at #1 on the Stagnated Dinosaur Rock chart.

Theresa Nist, ex-wife of Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner, told People magazine in a new interview that she “found a new joy in life” – as she opened the drawer of her nightstand.

Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy said WNBA star Caitlin Clark is getting “screwed” by Nike over her 8-year, $28 million endorsement deal that includes a signature Clark shoe. Nike defended the deal, saying it also includes a matching Caitlin Clark belt and handbag.

A Texas high school cheerleader who was named Valedictorian was notified that a calculation error was found, dropping her to 3rd in the class. However, her measurements were verified so she still gets to keep her cheerleading scholarship offers.

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A Carnival Cruise ship rescued 27 Cuban migrants adrift on a wooden boat bound for the U.S. They were taken on board, given food, and examined by the medical team after all of them contracted norovirus 10 minutes after boarding the Carnival ship.

O.J. Simpson was cremated. The Juice is now pulp.

A judge is considering holding Donald Trump in contempt of court for violating gag orders during his hush money trial, then holding him in contempt of court for complaining about being found in contempt of court, and so on..

Actress Anne Hathaway said in the early 2000s she had to ‘make out’ with 10 different actors auditioning to co-star in a film with her as a way of testing ‘chemistry’. The part went to the straight guy.

April 27th is the Drug Enforcement Agency’s ‘National Takeback Day’. Parents are encouraged to turn in unused prescription medications at designated sites, but to be careful not to use undesignated sites manned by high school stoners.

Taylor Swift revealed what inspired the 31 songs on her new album The Tortured Poets Department – 1 catchy riff that was stuck in her head, and 30 feelings of hatred and betrayal by old boyfriends.

NASA received its first update in five months from Voyager 1, the most distant spacecraft from Earth, reading “so sorry, totally slammed…s’up?”

A Virginia mom won $1,000,000 from a Powerball ticket purchased by her adult son. She then asked him why he has money for lottery tickets but not rent.

An Austrian company wants to build submersible superyachts for billionaires. Billionaires are skeptical of the business plan, since an underwater craft has nowhere for topless supermodels to sunbathe.

A mommy influencer on TikTok pushes the “9 minute theory” – the most important 9 minutes of your child’s day. It’s about picking 9 minutes of movies or cartoons that kids will sit still for while parents have sex.

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American Airlines announced a round trip flight from Philadelphia to Brazil for the Eagles season opener. Brazil Customs is training agents to deal with a plane load of drunks replying “E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!..” when asked if they have anything to declare.

The Today Show profiled 110-year-old Vincent Dransfield of Little Falls, New Jersey, who lives on his own and drives his Hyundai sedan every day. A special summit between New Jersey home invaders and carjackers was held to see who gets first dibs.

Gene Simmons of KISS mentored competitors on American Idol. Female singers requested restraining orders and male singers said they didn’t have the $1,000 he demanded for a 10-minute conversation.

Cher & Mary J. Blige were among the new inductees to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. In other news Judas Priest was among the inductees to the Childrens Music Hall of Fame.

Donald Trump’s hush money case began in New York with opening arguments – starting with Trump in the hallway outside the courtroom arguing with nobody.

Younger voters claim American democracy is failing – not because of partisan politics or aging presidential candidates, but they’re worried they could lose TikTok.

Divorcing Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner and soon-to-be-ex Theresa Nist have a prenuptial agreement, and highly recommend it to others. They also recommend that it be prepared in 30-point typeface.

LPGA golfer Nelly Korda won the Chevron Championship, her fifth consecutive tournament win, bringing her total winnings to over $2.4 million this season, and bringing her text messages from WNBA players offering to be her caddy.

A school in Australia set off 2,013 confetti cannons at the same time to set a world record. The school janitor then announced he quit.

A British sheep farmer said he uses Axe Body Spray on his male sheep to mask hormones that keep them from fighting each other. The bad news is female sheep won’t breed with them because of the smell.

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Doctors are reporting an increase in women with serious infections from using press-on nails. They say if they don’t stop using them they’ll eventually have to switch to press-on fingers.

Dubai experienced record rainfall and flooding. First responders used lifeboats to rescue hundreds of residents stranded in cars & on camels.

Planet Fitness has a new CEO, Colleen Keating. She plans on showing up for three days straight then never again..

Researchers found some species of bees can survive underwater for up to a week. They’re called Scoo-bees.

Airlines say they’re expecting a record summer of travel. They also forecast high demand for first class and – in the case of Spirit & Frontier – no class.

The WNBA commissioner said superstar Caitlin Clark’s $360,000 total salary for her first four years in the league is a “false narrative”. She added that low pay for non-starters and lesser-known WNBA players is a “true narrative”.

Over a dozen members of the Kennedy family endorsed Joe Biden for President instead of their blood relative, independent Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. In a statement RFK Jr. said he can’t believe they’d assassinate a Kennedy….. ‘s character.

A British comedian, Samantha Hannah, set a goal of finding a husband in a year. She found a man who eventually proposed, even though Samantha said she could only do about a half-hour.

12 jurors have been seated in Donald Trump’s New York hush money trial, although the trial can’t proceed until they find 6 alternates, who could replace primary jurors once they admit that they, too, had sex with Stormy Daniels.

A Maryland high school student was arrested after authoring a 129-page plan for a school shooting. They’re also interrogating the English teacher who told him he really needed to edit it down to 100 pages.

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Michigan kindergartners drank Jose Cuervo ready-made margaritas because a classmate brought the bottle in for snack time thinking it was juice. The children are all okay, and there’s now a waiting list to be Snack Mom.

NASA teleported a hologram of a doctor to the International Space Station. The astronauts were all pretty pissed off at the $100,000 copay.

Burger King’s largest franchisee is cutting the number of chicken nuggets in an order from 10 to 8. They say the other two died of bird flu.

Shania Twain joined Harry Styles on stage at Coachella to perform ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’ – but looked at Styles and sang ‘Man, You Look Like A Woman’.

Florida’s Department of Education rejected 54 math textbooks from kindergarten through 12th grade curriculum, saying that they contained prohibited content like Critical Race Theory, common core learning, and fractions.

The City of Philadelphia faces a lawsuit from business owners over the reinstatement of its indoor mask mandate. It’s the first-ever lawsuit with paperwork that opens with the phrase “Not for Nothing…”

To prevent the spread of bird flu, wildlife officials are recommending not putting out bird feeders. But if you do, mix the bird feed with Dayquil.

Ever Forward – a container ship stuck in the Chesapeake Bay for a month – has been freed. They were able to remove the cargo faster with the help of teenagers tricked into thinking several of the 40-foot containers contained Playstation 5’s they could have.

A Queens, New York woman was stabbed over 50 times, stuffed in a duffel bag, and dragged several blocks to a street corner, leaving sidewalks stained with blood. Police have not yet ruled out foul play.

The FDA authorized the first breath test for COVID, on the same day it approved new & improved Listerine with Monoclonal Antibodies.

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A self-described transgender vampire was convicted in Wisconsin of sexual assault. Sentencing is scheduled next month for Countess Dracula.

Donald Trump’s social media platform Truth Social will start a streaming tv channel. They’ll air Trump rallies and felony trials in between JAG & NCIS reruns.

A former prosecutor told CNN he worries about the safety of jurors in Trump’s NYC hush money felony trial – especially since they’ll be sequestered at Trump’s Bedminister, New Jersey hotel & golf club.

Drug maker Eli Lilly claims their weight loss drug Zepbound also reduces sleep apnea – mostly because people lose enough belly fat that they can finally sleep face down if they want.

Hollywood producer Carol Baum said she “doesn’t get” it-girl actress Sydney Sweeney, saying she’s “not pretty” and “can’t act”. ….. “Yeah, we don’t care” said male Hollywood producers.

Phoenix, Arizona is holding a tree planting drive, as average temperatures approach 100 degrees. Organizers say they expect shade from the trees to pay off after everyone planting them has been dead for twenty years.

A snake slithering through a passenger car on one of Japan’s bullet trains caused a 17-minute stoppage in the trip from Tokyo to Osaka. The snake was captured and returned to the kitchen so chefs could continue making lunch for the dining car.

The Department of Justice is considering anti-trust action against Ticketmaster/Live Nation for excessive fees and controlling a massive share of the ticketing market. Ticketmaster has already listed seats at the trial for $500 each plus $75 in fees.

Crystal Kung Minkoff announced she’s leaving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where she was the Bravo series first Asian American cast member. She’s considering joining the cast of Real Housewives of Oklahoma, where she’d be the first Asian to ever live there.

Salvatore ‘Sal the Shoemaker’ Rubino of Sal’s Shoe Repair on Long Island was charged with running an illegal gambling operation out of the shop. Investigators recorded Rubino hitting a customer with a baseball bat over failing to pay $20,000 for new soles on his loafers.

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A 2024 Penn State research study finds people presented with larger snack sizes leads to faster eating and bigger bites. A 1960s research study found the same thing and that’s where thousands of U.S. companies creating the obesity epidemic came from.

A high seafood diet could lead to increased levels of PFAs, or dangerous “forever chemicals”. This, according to researchers, several of whom died drawing blood samples from sharks.

Tesla laid off over 14,000 workers, citing increased electric car competition, declining sales, and Elon Musk needing the estimated $1.4 billion in salaries he’s saving to build some crazy new contraption he scribbled on a bar napkin.

Convenience store chain Wawa celebrates its 60th Anniversary today. There’s free coffee, and regulars will parade around the building several times before stopping to eat their lunch next to a garbage can.

Elon Musk said the only way to stop bots on X is to charge new users to post. So far he’s getting a lot of questions from bots about paying in Rubles.

Protesters supporting Palestine sat in the middle of a busy downtown Philadelphia street to voice concerns over the war with Israel. The U.N. updated the Palestinian death toll with four people flattened by cars on a busy Philadelphia street.

Mutliple reporters claim Donald Trump fell asleep on Day 1 of his hush money trial during jury selection. Several tired prospective female jurors in the courtroom at the same time filed lawsuits alleging Trump slept with them.

A new analysis finds New Jersey residents pay an average of $987,000 in lifetime taxes. However, New Jersey residents who claim to be in the sanitation and commercial construction industries pay an average of zero.

Tom Cruise has reportedly given actor Dakota Fanning a birthday gift every year since they co-starred in 2005 thriller War Of The Worlds. Fanning said that, despite owning 19 copies, she still hasn’t read L Ron Hubbard’s ‘Dianetics‘.

Erin Ward, a 45-year-old married Omaha substitute teacher, was arrested for having sex in the back of a car with a 17-year-old student. The student was happy to have sex, but is kinda bummed he missed the movie the substitute teacher showed the rest of the class.