Spirit Airlines put an unaccompanied 6-year-old on the wrong flight out of Philadelphia. Spirit announced they’re discontinuing their ‘Home Alone: Lost In Orlando’ fare sale.
For his part, the 6-year-old told Florida State Police he was just happy to be out of Philadelphia.
General Motors announced the Cadillac Celestiq – a hand-built fully-electric vehicle costing $300,000, made to appeal to environmentally-conscious pimps.
Russian opposition leader Aleksei Navalny wrote a letter saying he’d been moved to a penal colony in Siberia. He said he’s given one daily hour of outdoor recreation, followed by four hours of treatment for frostbite.
Beyonce’s former childhood home in Houston suffered minor fire damage on Christmas morning. The fire was quickly extinguished by members of Color Me Badd working their new jobs.
Microsoft launched its Copilot AI app for Android phones, just in time for Arizona State students to ask it to write their spring semester term papers.
Donald Trump posted Christmas messages to social media, telling his opponents to “ROT IN HELL”. Coincidentally, ROTINHELL is also the discount code for tickets to the Mar-a-Lago New Year’s Eve party.
A same-sex nativity scene in Italy, depicting the baby Jesus with two mothers, was slammed as ‘blasphemous’ by the same people who would have you believe one of the women got knocked up without having sex at all.
A new study evalutes the viability of launching a nuclear explosive “millions of miles” into space to prevent an asteroid from striking Earth. People living near the SpaceX launch site just want time to get the hell out of town in case things go sideways.
Sonja Semyonova, a Canadian woman, calls herself an ‘ecosexual’ and claims to be in love with an oak tree. “Me too” said a Canadian guy standing next to a knothole on the other side of the tree.