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A 2024 Penn State research study finds people presented with larger snack sizes leads to faster eating and bigger bites. A 1960s research study found the same thing and that’s where thousands of U.S. companies creating the obesity epidemic came from.

A high seafood diet could lead to increased levels of PFAs, or dangerous “forever chemicals”. This, according to researchers, several of whom died drawing blood samples from sharks.

Tesla laid off over 14,000 workers, citing increased electric car competition, declining sales, and Elon Musk needing the estimated $1.4 billion in salaries he’s saving to build some crazy new contraption he scribbled on a bar napkin.

Convenience store chain Wawa celebrates its 60th Anniversary today. There’s free coffee, and regulars will parade around the building several times before stopping to eat their lunch next to a garbage can.

Elon Musk said the only way to stop bots on X is to charge new users to post. So far he’s getting a lot of questions from bots about paying in Rubles.

Protesters supporting Palestine sat in the middle of a busy downtown Philadelphia street to voice concerns over the war with Israel. The U.N. updated the Palestinian death toll with four people flattened by cars on a busy Philadelphia street.

Mutliple reporters claim Donald Trump fell asleep on Day 1 of his hush money trial during jury selection. Several tired prospective female jurors in the courtroom at the same time filed lawsuits alleging Trump slept with them.

A new analysis finds New Jersey residents pay an average of $987,000 in lifetime taxes. However, New Jersey residents who claim to be in the sanitation and commercial construction industries pay an average of zero.

Tom Cruise has reportedly given actor Dakota Fanning a birthday gift every year since they co-starred in 2005 thriller War Of The Worlds. Fanning said that, despite owning 19 copies, she still hasn’t read L Ron Hubbard’s ‘Dianetics‘.

Erin Ward, a 45-year-old married Omaha substitute teacher, was arrested for having sex in the back of a car with a 17-year-old student. The student was happy to have sex, but is kinda bummed he missed the movie the substitute teacher showed the rest of the class.

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Fired former Twitter employees are suing Elon Musk for severance payments. These Ex-employees are demanding to be paid like X employees.

Rice Krispies Treats edged out Doritos as the nation’s most popular snack, with voters appreciating how much of them remained stuck to their teeth while they completed the survey.

A guest at the Venetian Las Vegas hotel was bit in the testicles by a scorpion in his bed. He was treated and released at a local hospital, and saved $300 off the going rate for being bit in the testicles in your Las Vegas hotel room.

Millennials are poised to become the richest population group in history, with $90 trillion in wealth expected to be transferred to them from prior generations..if they can just hang on in their boomer parents basements for a few more years.

Bowflex filed for bankruptcy, notifying a judge with a 30-minute infomercial he saw on tv at 12:30a.m.

A new satellite was launched into orbit, with a sole purpose to track methane gas – responsible for 30% of global warming. So far it’s produced a detailed map of cow pastures and Mexican restaurants.

Comedian Nick Swardson was deemed too intoxicated to perform and was escorted off stage 20 minutes in to his set at a Colorado theater. Then they brought out Rob Schneider and the crowd asked if Swardson could return.

Ultra-processed foods such as cereals and fizzy drinks have now been linked to 32 harmful health effects. Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes boxes are being updated with Tony The Tiger saying “they’re grrrrreat! for gaining weight!”

The family of porn star Emily Willis started a GoFundMe to raise $60,000 to cover her medical bills after an apparent drug overdose. They were going to start an OnlyFans but the nurses kept ruining the shots.

Viral video shows a turf war brawl outside of a Bangkok hotel between transgender prostitutes from Thailand and the Philippines. Police arrested dozens, who were then released in to the custody of TLC Network executives offering them a reality show.

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‘Oppenheimer‘ led Oscar nominations with 13 and ‘Killers of the Flower Moon‘ received 10. It was the first time that nominations were given specifically for work in the first hour of a movie because voters couldn’t stay awake for the rest of it.

Philadelphia Eagles star Jason Kelce lifted up a little girl so she could show a sign she’d made to Taylor Swift, who was seated with him in a suite at the Chiefs/Bills game. However, Kelce refused several requests to lift drunk men at the game so they could show something to Swift.

Billy Joel is releasing his first single in 17 years, so fans at his concerts will know when they hear it that it’s time to go get another beer.

Drexel University is researching more environmentally-friendly alternatives to road salt during the winter months. They’re testing concrete that releases thermal energy, as well as other hot condiments like sriracha.

Divorce rumors are swirling around singers Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. She’ll be performing at Coachella with No Doubt, and performing with Shelton is Doubt Ful.

Britney Spears has been banned from the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles after guests complained about her going topless at the swimming pool. Teen boys staying there are seeking to have their parents banned for complaining about it.

Crystal Hefner, widow of Hugh Hefner, said in her new memoir that she no longer had sex with him after 2014 when he was 88 and she was 28. Viagra no longer worked, and Crystal was recovering from damage to her wrist, elbow and rotator cuff.

Medical journal JAMA finds health problems from obesity are compounded by loneliness and isolation that are more common in obese people – even though they’re kinda happy they get the whole pizza for themselves.

Texans took to social media demanding to secede from the United States, after the Supreme Court ruled against Texas placing razor wire barriers at the border. Immigrants are hoping Texas doesn’t secede because then they’ll need passports for their flights & bus trips from Texas to Chicago & New York.

Kanye West yelled at paparazzi as they photographed him & wife Bianca Censori leaving a tanning salon. They speculated he was angry because he was done a lot sooner than she was.

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At the PGA Tour’s Workday Championship, several players honored Tiger Woods by wearing his signature Sunday outfit of a red shirt & black pants – then hitting on female servers in the clubhouse, and crashing their hospitality cars.

A new study claims the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdowns are causing married couples to have less sex, coining the new phrase “not tonight, I’m on a ventilator”.

A 74-year-old Florida man drowned while looking for a lost golf ball – the state’s first Putt-Putt fatality of 2021.

A live YouTube chat about chess was mistakenly shut down for hate speech by artificial intelligence screening for words like “black”, “white” & “attack”. A human moderator restored it, telling all of the queens to have a good time.

Taylor Swift reacted angrily to a line in Netflix show ‘Ginny and Georgia’, where a woman says her daughter “Goes through men faster than Taylor Swift”. Swift called it “sexist horse sh*t”. “We liked it” said Jake Gyllenhall, John Mayer, Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston & others.

A study claims the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine may be less effective in people with obesity. The study said they might want to try longer needles.

Physics researchers discovered the swirlon, a new state of active matter in motion. They found it while studying the matter around their heads when bullies shoved them in toilets.

Excavators unearthed a near-fully-intact bronze-and-tin chariot from the lost city of Pompeii. However, despite repeated attempts, they couldn’t get the horses to start.

A 24-year-old man was arrested for crashing through the gate of Kim Kardashian’s home because he wanted to see her. Cops then asked Kardashian to stand up and turn sideways so the guy could see her from a mile away.

Two women were removed from an American Airlines flight for using racial slurs and fighting with a male passenger. Their Texas-to-California flight was diverted to Phoenix, where they were arrested, then rebooked on a Spirit Airlines flight where they were two of the nicer passengers.

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Amazon will spend $700 million retraining a third of its workforce by 2025 – retraining them to work somewhere else when they’re replaced by a robot.

A Japanese hotel built a lifesize Boeing 737 flight simulator into one of its rooms. To operate it, you have to rent the hotel room, and then prove that you’re drunk.

Privacy advocates are concerned by reports that Google has humans listening to, and transcribing, questions asked to Google Assistant. For their part, the humans are bored typing “Hey Google, how late is Wendy’s open?” thousands of times.

Video captured off the South Carolina coast by the NOAA Ocean Exploration & Research team shows a large, bony, wreckfish swallowing a shark whole. The video continues with the wreckfish swimming to a Charleston Walgreen’s for antacid.

The group One Million Moms is calling for a boycott of Toy Story 4 over a scene where a lesbian couple is dropping off their child at school, saying it’s a subtle nod to LGBT normalcy. However, Woody & Buzz thought it was kinda hot.

The CDC declared West Virginia the Most Obese U.S. State, with 38% of residents considered obese, and the other 62% thinner, but mostly because of opioids.

A Tucson, Arizona driver was charged with DUI after his car crossed the median and slammed into a giant saguaro cactus, which went through the windshield. He refused a breathalyzer, so the cops just held it up to the many holes in his face.

Clay County, Missouri police tweeted that they’d apprehended a fugitive suspect wanted for drug possession when he loudly farted while hiding, giving up his location. The cops then assumed he was armed and fired 30 rounds at him.

Nicole Kidman posted on Instagram that she’d gotten a dog for the first time in her life. The dog described her as “pretty stuck-up”.

President Trump spoke about kidney health, saying “kidneys have a special place in the heart” – leading Americans to wonder how he survives without either.

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The World Health Organization reports that, by the end of the century, cancer will be the Number One cause of death globally — causing a huge sigh of relief from obese people with heart disease who misunderstood the report.

The 27th season cast of  ABC’s ‘Dancing With The Stars was revealed on Tuesday morning, including Bobby Bones; Tinashe; & ‘Grocery Store Joe’.  ABC also announced that for season 28, the show’s name will be changed to ‘Dancing With Whoever’s Left’.

President Trump called the U.S.’ disaster relief response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico – where over 2,900 residents died – an ‘unsung success’. A day later, the President clarified that thousands of people would have sung about the great care they received, but they were dead.

Nancy Crampton-Brophy, a romance/suspense novelist who once wrote an essay entitled ‘How To Murder Your Husband’, was arrested and charged with killing her husband. Her defense attorney declined comment, but said privately that “you really need to admire her follow-through.”

Rapper/actor Bow Wow, commenting in the wake of the overdose death of rapper Mac Miller, admitted his past addiction to cough syrup. Bow Wow said that he drank ‘lean’ – a combination of promethazine/codeine-based syrup and soft drinks – every day, adding that he was originally prescribed the drugs for a severe kennel cough.

A study on Bankrate.com revealed that the lowest-income U.S. households spend $412 annually on lottery tickets, nearly four times the national average of $105. The same study reveals that persons living in these poor households are also four times more likely to contract carpal scratch-off syndrome.

Microsoft announced its Windows 10 operating system updates for October. The ‘Snipping Tool’ for screengrabs is being phased out, replaced by ‘Snip & Sketch’. CEO Satya Nadella praised the move, saying it saves users having to open a second program to draw penises on the faces captured onscreen.

Reverend Christian Ohazulume, a Roman Catholic priest, has been charged with sexually assaulting a young girl while staying in her family’s home in 2006.  Reached at the Vatican for comment, Pope Francis said “Girl? That’s different.”

Kim Kardashian’s new prank show, ‘You Kiddin’ Me?’, debuts on Facebook Live on September 22nd. The show displays the Kardashian/Jenner family playing practical jokes on each other while your personal data is stolen and sold.

Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst filed for divorce from his wife of six years, Kseniya. Durst cited irreconcilable differences, specifically, the inability to do it all for the nookie.

 

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Dolly Parton’s theme park Dollywood is being sued for $2 million by a woman who said she suffered a severe spinal injury on the park’s RiverRush Water Coaster. Worse, she claims park medical staff in overalls and straw hats attempted to anesthetize her intravenously with the contents of two ceramic jugs labeled ‘XXX’.

Heather Locklear was arrested for the second time in two weeks, charged with battery on a police office and an EMT. Her parents are hopeful that Heather will get the help she so desperately needs – a really good agent.

Fixer Upper stars Joanna & Chip Gaines shared the first photo of their new baby son, Crew. He was named for the crew of workers who went to work this week renovating her birth canal.

Medical journal Obesity claims acceptance for plus-size people may prevent overweight adults from recognizing their own weight gain. A survey of 23,000 overweight/obese adults found 60 percent of men and 30 percent of women underestimated their weight. 90 percent returned the survey with mayonnaise stains.

Actor Mel Gibson lost his lawsuit to block the release of the film ‘Professor and the Madman’, which stars Gibson and documents the origins of the Oxford English Dictionary.  Gibson will not promote the film, and cancelled his appearance at the San Diego DictionaryCon.

Owner of Lexington, Virginia restaurant The Red Hen asked White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and 7 of her family members to leave on the basis of “moral conviction”. Sanders said she left without incident, and was only there to have a small salad and glass of water, anyway.

Actor Michael Rapaport was able to defuse a situation aboard an American Airlines flight from Houston to Los Angeles, when a Vietnamese man attempted to open an emergency exit mid-flight. The man told authorities he believed the door was the bathroom door. Three members of the man’s family were behind him telling him to hurry up.

Thousands of bourbon barrels rolled out of a collapsed warehouse at a distillery in Bardstown, Kentucky.  No one was injured, but a courageous plumber is attempting to reach the angry gorilla rolling barrels from atop the warehouse to halt further damage.

Culinary robotics company Creator is opening a restaurant in San Francisco, and will sell hamburgers made by a robot. The burgers take six minutes, and if you don’t like it the robot will spit WD-40 in it.

After a woman in Walgreens Pharmacy was denied a prescription to end her pregnancy that would result in miscarriage, Walgreens defended their policy to allow pharmacists to deny prescriptions for which they have a ‘moral objection’. Walgreens also said they regret hiring Christian Scientist pharmacists who won’t give any medicine to anyone.

Online auction house GottaHaveRockandRoll.com is auctioning a love letter that Madonna sent to model Amanda Cazalet in 1991. Madonna kissed Cazalet in the video for her song ‘Justify My Love’. When asked if the letter was perfumed, the auction house only said it smelled like it had been rubbed on something.

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Missouri Governor Eric Greitens admitted to an extramarital affair, but denied allegations of blackmailing his mistress with a nude photo taken during their meeting. “Show us!” said Missourians.

The U.S. Army is having difficulty finding physically fit recruits due to the U.S. obesity problem. The good news is that the Army is making money from hilarious obstacle course videos with the unfit recruits they do get.

James Franco has been accused of sexual misconduct by five women, including one on the set of 127 Hours, where she says Franco touched her with the hand that wasn’t stuck under a boulder.

Congressional Democrats are planning to wear black and bring sexual assault survivors as guests to President Trump’s first State of the Union address. Asked if she planned to wear black, First Lady Melania Trump said it depends on whether she can find the right shoes.

Walmart is raising its starting wage to $11/hour and giving $1,000 bonuses to eligible employees in response to the U.S. tax cut. Bonus recipients have various plans for the money, although most said they’ll use it to escape poverty for a few days.

China blocked the Marriott Hotels app and website as punishment for listing Tibet, Taiwan, Macau & Hong Kong as separate countries – frustrating U.S. college students booking Spring Break trips to Tibet to find enlightenment and get wasted.

YouTube is punishing Logan Paul for his infamous ‘suicide forest’ video. In addition to making it harder for advertisers to find and place ads on his videos, Paul will have to watch 200 hours of Philadelphia Eagles fan videos discussing their upcoming game in the NFC Divisional Playoffs.

An analysis from Rhodium Group cites the U.S. Transportation Sector – cars & trucks – as the largest source of harmful greenhouse gas emissions for the second consecutive year, followed by the Energy Sector, and the Fast-Casual Mexican Dining sector.

Pizza Hut is working with Toyota to deliver pizzas in driverless vehicles. Early trials have been a mix of successful deliveries and errors – such as vehicles driving through front doors trying to hit the doorbell, and a high rate of cars quitting to start a band.

Some women participating in the 2018 Women’s March on January 20-21 are planning to ditch last year’s popular pink ‘pussy hats’, which they say exclude transgender women and women of color whose genitals aren’t pink — and besides, it hides their kicky new haircut.

 

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National Geographic published an article revealing that hibernating animals like bears and sloths don’t actually sleep – they enter a state of depressed metabolism called ‘torpor’, where they reduce heart rate, breathing, and reactivate their Netflix accounts.

The Social Security Administration announced benefits will increase 2% in 2018, as retirees flood jewelry stores to order gold chains with their grandkids’ initials encrusted in diamonds.

Iraqi forces state that they’ve taken key areas in the Northern city of Kirkuk from Islamic State. “We hope to go where no Iraqi has gone before in years” said military leader Captain Kirkuk.

Security experts have identified a dangerous wifi security flaw, KRACK [Key Reinstallation Attack] that allows hackers to intercept communications sent via wifi. Android devices are especially vulnerable – President Trump’s phone has reportedly been hacked, but data pirates have been unable to find a buyer for Candy Crush scores and draft tweets about the NFL.

Facebook is reportedly seeking to hire employees with National Security clearances, in order to mitigate political manipulation. Jared Kushner then submitted his application containing 100 errors and an inactive email address.

Kevin James opened up on why his sitcom ‘Kevin Can Wait’ killed off his wife’s character for season two, despite no one asking.

CEO Jack Dorsey announced that Twitter will launch new rules focusing on “unwanted sexual advances, non-consensual nudity, hate symbols, violent groups, and tweets that glorifies violence.” Creeps, terrorists and hate groups said they’re looking into Snapchat.

Colin Kaepernick filed a grievance alleging collusion among NFL owners for refusing to hire him. His grievance was filed after the Tennessee Titans signed free agent and former first-round flop Brandon Weeden to a backup role after discovering him with his head stuck in the posts of a wrought iron fence.

A Nature Communications study states that for every additional 2.2 pounds gained, overweight people cut their life expectancy by 7 months. Overweight people said it’s a risk they’re willing to take, not knowing if McRib will still be available in 7 months.

A Napa valley couple survived area wildfires burning around them by staying in a neighbor’s pool for six hours. They promised the neighbor they’d return to clean the pool.

Bruce Arena resigned as U.S. Men’s National Team soccer coach after failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. Arena collected his belongings, which included a gift basket of items made by merchants in Trinidad and Tobago.