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In a divorce lawyer’s viral video, she lists the six most common professions of people who cheat on their spouse or significant other. They are: NBA point guard; NBA shooting guard; NBA small forward; NBA power forward; NBA center; & NBA coach.

Gen Z men & women are reportedly ditching dating apps in favor of trying to meet someone in person. Although many admit sharing nude pics as an icebreaker is a lot more risky that way.

Alaska Airlines passengers aboard the flight where a door plug blew off in midair were contacted by the FBI to say they may be “victims of a crime”. The FBI also sent letters to Spirit Airlines passengers saying they’re “victims of their own poor judgment.”

A new study finds venting anger verbally or physically is not as effective at inducing calm as yoga or meditation. However, the most calm person in the study was the woman who yelled at & punched someone after her yoga class.

Donald Trump appeared at a pretrial hearing in a case involving hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels. He said he’d be willing to plead guilty if someone would buy a sex tape of him & Stormy Daniels for $454 Million.

Kim Kardashian and NFL star Odell Beckham Jr reportedly split up after six months because she wanted to have a child with him. Beckham did not, but still said Kardashian was a talented wide receiver.

Chick-fil-A announced they’re changing their ‘No Antibiotics Ever’ policy for chickens to ‘No Antibiotics Important To Human Medicine’. Using only antibiotic-free chicken is limiting their supply, so they’re allowing poultry farmers to sell them chickens whose flu and gonorhhea have been successfully treated.

Utah’s Payson High School, location for 1984 film ‘Footloose‘, is having their final prom there because the school is relocating to a new building. 65-year-old star Kevin Bacon announced he’s accepted an invitation to attend – but his wife Kyra Sedgwick isn’t thrilled that he’s going with Payson High’s cheerleading captain.

Los Angeles Dodgers star Shohei Ohtani will publicly address a multi-million dollar gambling scandal that led to the firing of his Japanese language interpreter. At the very least, Americans are excited to learn how to say “double or nothing” in Japanese.

Philadelphia native Kevin Hart received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Like previous selection Adam Sandler, the committee was willing to overlook a lot of movies.

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A new study finds high-school students who take a personal finance course realize a $100,000 wealth benefit later in life. Also, young couples who pay attention in health class realize a $300,000 lifetime benefit by not getting pregnant.

A University of Pennsylvania professor claims the word “because” is a ‘magic word’ that helps you influence people to do things. However, your spouse already knows this and it’s why they say “because I have a headache”.

The first Jordan-branded ‘World Of Flight’ Nike retail store in the U.S. will open in Philadelphia. When the store opens in spring it’ll host the first-ever Grand Looting Event.

Tourist attraction The John Wick Experience is opening in Las Vegas. Because apparently people can’t get enough of mass shootings.

NBA player Steph Curry defeated the WNBA’s Sabrina Ionescu in a 3-point shooting ‘Battle of the Sexes’ at the NBA All-Star Game. Other NBA players privately engaged in their own Battle of the Sexes over child support.

A man with a severe milk allergy is suing McDonald’s over a slice of cheese mistakenly placed on his Big Mac, which he claims almost killed him. Luckily he was in a McDonald’s where they’ve added lifeguards to the dining room.

Donald Trump called “indictment” the ‘N-word’ during a speech. “Indictment, please…” said Barack Obama.

Rumors are circulating that Paramount and Comcast may merge their Paramount + and Peacock streaming services. Details are scarce, but they’re reportedly stuck on whether to call it Peamount+ or Paracock.

NBA analyst Charles Barkley criticized the city of San Francisco, saying it’s full of “homeless crooks”, and adding that you can’t walk around the city unless you have a bulletproof vest, also known as a shooting guard.

The Daytona 500 was postponed one day due to rain. The race will take place today, officially kicking off Redneck New Year.

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Florida passed a law barring children aged 16 & under from using social media. It’s estimated the law will cost the state over a billion dollars in tourism revenue from pedophiles.

Paramount’s CEO said layoffs are coming . He’s calling the plan Paramount Minus.

Dietitians listed four changes people can make for a healthier brain: eating more fiber, polyphenols, probiotics, and herbs & spices. Zombies are advised to look for brains from people who follow these guidelines.

A Kansas teen was stabbed with pliers hooked on his belt after he fell while shoveling snow. Doctors successfully removed the pliers with a wrench the teen let them borrow.

Khloe Kardashian’s baby daddy Tristan Thompson was suspended from the NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers for violating the league’s drug policy. He’ll miss 25 games and, more importantly, all the groupies at the team hotel.

A Ukrainian-born model won the Miss Japan Pageant. Paageant officials are considering changing it to the Miss Made In Japan Pageant.

The NFL’s Atlanta Falcons picked Raheem Morris as their new head coach, despite interviewing Bill Belichick twice. Belichick’s agents are now pursuing a job on an NFL pregame show where he gets paid to not give his opinion about anything.

Taylor Swift is furious that AI-generated deepfake porn images are circulating with her likeness. She’s considering legal action, or creating her own Deepfake Porn (Taylor’s Version).

99-year-old competitive swimmer Betty Brussel broke multiple world records in the 100-plus age class, including the 400-meter freestyle, where she shattered the old record of “rescued from drowning after 375 meters”.

Hugh Hefner’s widow Crystal Hefner claims in her new memoir that he was bad in bed. And even worse in hospital bed.

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Donald Trump is rumored to have lost weight using diabetes drugs like Ozempic or Mounjaro. However, Trump’s doctor said he “has reduced his weight through an improved diet and continued daily physical activity.” Then firefighters were called to the doctor’s office to extinguish his pants.

A U.S. Postal Service letter carrier in Philadelphia was robbed at gunpoint by a man demanding the keys for mailboxes. The robber took the keys and finished his route in half the time.

The state of California is concerned that LA Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani is dodging taxes by deferring $680 million of his record-breaking contract. Ohtani is also concerned that he has a structured settlement but he needs cash now.

Cosmopolitan magazine released a special ‘Sex After 60’ issue. It contains 50 pages of ads, and is 53 pages total.

Child researchers say screen time for children younger than two years old could lead to sensory development issues and learning disabilities. The problem is particularly bad for babies sitting in their grandparents lap while they watch Fox News.

A viral TikTok video features a woman claiming to use LinkedIn as a dating app. Then after the dates she endorses the men for skills like Orgasm Management.

NBA star Ja Morant of the Memphis Grizzlies – who’d been suspended for social media videos waving a handgun – will miss the remainder of the season with a shoulder injury. Both the suspension and injury left Morant unable to shoot.

Lawyers for Donald Trump in his presidential immunity hearing offered a “qualified yes” when asked if a president is immune from prosecution for ordering Navy SEALs to kill a rival candidate. Trump explained Joe Biden is President of Al Qaeda.

The World Economic Forum shared their 10-year outlook, saying the world could suffer catastrophic consequences in the next decade, citing climate change, artificial intelligence, and the reintroduction of the Double Big Mac.

Armed men stormed a TV station in Ecuador during a live broadcast and took several station workers hostage, amidst the nation’s battle with drug gangs. Concerned viewers were frightened, but also frustrated at having to wait until the 11 O’Clock News to find out what happened.

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Merry Christmas! Thank you to loyal & occasional readers. Have a terrific holiday. cd

The wives of three Philadelphia Eagles players hosted an EaGals Christmas Party for team member’s wives and girlfriends. The Philadelphia 76ers tried, but too many fights broke out when six of the players had their wife & 3 of their girlfriends each show up.

President Joe Biden will issue pardons for certain marijuana offenses, and for a very small number of crack cocaine & prostitution offenses committed by friends of one of his kids.

Philadelphia Police are investigating two suspicious car fires in the city’s Roxborough section – saying it’s easier than investigating the 50 carjackings in the city’s other sections.

A paraplegic claims Delta Airlines let him crawl to his seat when boarding assistance personnel were unavailable. Spirit Airlines said they allow people crawling to their seats to preboard so they’ll have the most time to buy more drinks before takeoff.

The Food & Drug Administration said they seized thousands of counterfeit units of diabetes/weight loss drug Ozempic. In a related story, Dollar Tree said they’re closing their pharmacy counters until further notice.

Satellite radio provider Sirius XM is accused of trapping customers in subscriptions and making it impossible to cancel. It’s so bad, workers at Comcast/Xfinity call centers are dialing in to learn a few new tricks.

A woman arrested for attempting to have her husband murdered in the Bahamas was allowed to go back to the United States for Christmas to visit her children. She has to stay 100 yards from her husband, and not even think about giving him the fruitcake she made.

Tinder is offering $499/month Tinder Select memberships to a limited number of “most sought after” users. In other news, two teen boys who stole their dad’s credit card are busy catching up on all the nude pics they’re getting.

Britney Spears posted an Instagram video showing the charred remains of her home gym following a house fire she started in 2020, when she fired her trainer for telling her to ‘feel the burn’.

A married couple drove an electric car 18,000 miles in an historic journey from the North Pole to the South Pole to raise awareness for climate change and use of electric vehicles. They’re currently looking for divorce lawyers at the South Pole.

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The NBA indefinitely suspended Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green for hitting an opponent in the face. During his free time, the NHL is teaching Green how to skate.

Amazon ended a ‘thank you’ program – where drivers received a $5 tip if customers told Alexa to ‘thank their driver’ – after two days. They ended the program to thank the warehouse worker who packed the order with a $5 tip after two seconds.

Burger chain In N Out opened their first location in Idaho and the wait at the drive-thru was 8 hours long. Gruhhub customers were told if they ordered now, they could still get their food in time for Christmas.

The Las Vegas Raiders routed the Los Angeles Chargers 63-21 on Thursday night. But the big winner is the realtor that gets to sell Chargers head coach Brandon Staley’s house.

Shohei Ohtani made his first appearance in a Los Angeles Dodgers uniform after signing a record $700 million contract. He plans to live modestly, and send money home so his family in Japan can finally have a shelter to protect them from attacks by Godzilla.

Sharon Osbourne said getting plastic surgery on her face was “the worst thing she ever did” – apparently forgetting about The Osbourne Family Christmas Special.

Pennsylvania joined several other states in making ‘porch pirating’ a felony. Several convicted thieves now face multi-year sentences for unknowingly stealing discreet shipments of adult diapers.

Barbara Furlow-Smiles, a former Facebook diversity & inclusion executive, pled guilty to stealing $4 million from the company. She’s free on bond, and may be a flight risk because she responded ‘Interested’ instead of ‘Going’ to her March sentencing.

Posh Spice Victoria Beckham told Allure magazine that she was bullied and told she can’t sing. “Kids can be horrible” she said, adding “they can also be right”.

Oprah Winfrey said that people making jokes about her weight was a ‘public sport’. In other news, the guy who authored the joke about her being detained at the airport for smuggling 50 pounds of crack was inducted to the Public Sport Hall Of Fame.

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Singer Billie Eilish said she “didn’t realize people didn’t know” about her sexuality. She also didn’t realize the vast majority of people don’t care, either.

Taylor Swift watched from a suite at Lambeau Field as her boyfriend Travis Kelce’s Kansas City Chiefs lost to the Green Bay Packers. She consoled Kelce, telling him he’ll have a better show tomorrow night.

Yemen’s Houthi rebels launched drone & missile fire at Israeli commercial vessels in the Red Sea. Texts from the ship captains read “New attacks. Houthis?”

Former Trump White House official Alyssa Farah Griffin told a CNN host that she was surprised by Donald Trump’s “lack of sharpness” while giving confusing remarks at an Iowa rally. She added that Trump’s assistants have tried and failed to sneak Prevagen in to his Big Macs.

Nick Cannon – father to 12 children – said in an interview that he spends over $200,000 at Disneyland every year. He expects that number to go up with child support payments now that he’s gotten Snow White & Cinderella pregnant.

The Tucson federal prison housing Derek Chauvin said Chauvin was stabbed 22 times in last week’s incident. Officials are investigating a possible second assailant because the first guy’s arm got tired.

Spotify is cutting 17% of its staff, citing a need for cost reduction because those one-twentieth-of-one-cent per-play royalties to Taylor Swift and Beyonce are adding up.

Sylvester Stallone visited Philadelphia as December 3rd was recognized by the city as ‘Rocky Day’. Then the Eagles got blown out at home 42-19 and it was a Reeeeally Rocky Day.

Three University of Colorado assistant football coaches resigned, and Head Coach Deion Sanders’ fiancee broke off their engagement and will enter the Relationship Transfer Portal.

KISS played their final in-person concert at Madison Square Garden, but said their digital avatars will continue to perform shows for years to come. Then Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley’s digital avatars fired the virtual drummer and lead guitarist.

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Bradley Cooper attended his 30th high school reunion in suburban Philadelphia – but was still unable to convince anyone there to watch Maestro.

Amazon reported record-breaking orders over the Black Friday holiday weekend, with workers filling over 400 million bottles of urine.

Tiger Woods announced he’ll return to play at the Hero World Challenge in the Bahamas. Tiger said his putting and iron shots are good, but that his driving still occasionally puts him in a ditch with a shattered ankle.

The NHL Chicago Blackhawks terminated the contract of forward Corey Perry, and attempted to squash rumors that he’d had sex with the mother of 18-year-old teammate Conor Bedard. For the record, Bedard’s mom said she’s only interested in Chicago Bulls.

After working Thanksgiving and Sunday games, CBS Sports will give Tony Romo & Jim Nantz a break in NFL Week 13. NBC Sports announced that, despite an online petition with 75 million signatures, Cris Collinsworth will still call the Sunday night game.

Melania Trump attended Rosalynn Carter’s funeral, and was the only former White House resident in attendance not wearing black. She explained her husband told her she was attending a runway show during Plains, Georgia Fall Fashion Week.

Kansas announced a redesign of their 2024 license plate after complaints from residents who say the word KANSAS is too big and makes them vulnerable to insults from other motorists.

High winds toppled the National Christmas Tree at the White House – continuing the trend of the last two Presidents who also couldn’t stay erect.

Kylie Jenner flew to London to attend boyfriend Timothee Chalamet’s ‘Wonka‘ movie premiere – where she joined Chalamet at the after-party while he affectionately caressed her WonkaDonk.

An underaged girl – alleged to have had an inappropriate relationship with Oklahoma Thunder guard Josh Giddey – and her family are not cooperating with the NBA’s investigation. The family is requesting privacy while the girl waits in line to see Santa.

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Tiffany Haddish was arrested for her second DUI in as many years, both times falling asleep behind the wheel of her vehicle. She’s thinking of either entering rehab, or getting a Tesla that can drunk-drive itself.

For the third time, Diddy was sued by a woman alleging sexual assault and physical abuse – once again leaving fans to wonder Diddy? or Diddny? If this keeps up, he’s considering another name change to Diddn’t.

Wildlife officials warn that feral Canadian “super pigs” are threatening to migrate to the U.S. You’ll know them by their unique “Oonk”.

Life At Sea Cruises canceled their planned 3-year global voyage after admitting to ticketholders that they don’t have a boat. Despite issuing refunds, they’re facing lawsuits from passengers who rented out their homes, and adult children who thought they wouldn’t have to see their parents for three years.

Former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin was stabbed in a federal prison in Tucson the day after Thanksgiving. In other news, the inmate store posted record sales of shanks during their Black Friday Cellbuster Deal Day.

Pope Francis cancelled his planned Thanksgiving activities after being briefly hospitalized with the flu – but gave thanks that he caught the flu from some cute young altar boys.

Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain chip implant company raised $43 million in funding, after he told other billionaires with chips implanted in their brains to give him $43 million.

Black Friday shoppers were evacuated from the American Dream Mall in New Jersey, following a bomb scare by someone threatening to turn it in to the Iraqi Dream Mall.

Taylor Swift posed for a photo with five family members of Ana Clara Benevides, who died of heat exhaustion & cardiac arrest at her concert in Brazil a week earlier. Her funeral is postponed after the family blew $2,000 each on concert tickets.

The NBA is investigating claims that Oklahoma Thunder guard Josh Giddey had an inappropriate relationship with a minor. In the meantime, Giddey will continue to play, and the young woman will enter the NBA’s Development Program for Groupies.

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An Idaho woman is suing her fertility doctor, claiming he secretly used his own sperm to father her now 34-year-old daughter. The doctor’s lawyers informed the court he’d be using a “Hey, It Worked, Didn’t It?” Defense.

Two theme park operators, Six Flags and Cedar Fair, are merging in a deal valued at $8 billion dollars and over a million gallons of vomit.

Donald Trump lashed out on social media over a judge forcing Eric, Don Jr & Ivanka to testify in his financial fraud trial. “Leave my kids alone!” Trump posted, adding “I’ve left all of them alone for years.”

Cable channel TBS will air a ‘Best Of Chandler’ marathon starting November 1st to honor the late Matthew Perry. They’re finalizing on-screen graphics to differentiate it from the existing 22 hours every day they air ‘Friends‘ episodes.

A family is suing Panera Bread, claiming their daughter died after drinking highly caffeinated lemonade. Their case won’t be heard for years, after Panera lawyers settle dozens of lawsuits where customers choked to death on scones.

400 Americans were approved to leave war-torn Gaza. 250 of them could have left already, but they keep haggling for business & first class seat upgrades on the flights home.

Kim Kardashian announced her underwear brand, SKIMS, has entered a partnership with the NBA. Every NBA player will receive personalized instructions on removing SKIMS from new female friends they meet on the road.

Investigators determined two men escaped from a Philadelphia prison in May because a guard slept on the job, surveillance cameras didn’t work, a known hole in a fence was left unrepaired, and – perhaps most importantly – the prisoners broke their promise to stay inside and be good.

A dietitian released a list of foods that mimic the ingredients of popular weight loss drugs Ozempic and Wegovy. The list includes high-fiber items like rye bread & barley, and more controversial low-fiber items like the Quarter Pounder w/Ozempic.

Police are investigating AI-generated nude images of young female students circulated at a New Jersey high school. No arrests have been made, but the Computer Club has seen a gigantic spike in participation.